Monday August 8, 2005

Monday August 8, 2005 When I arrived this morning Zack was in his wheelchair in the hallway near the nurses station with Dr. Miller. I was surprised to see him up and Shirley (nurses aide) told me that she found him standing next to his bed this morning. They put him in his chair out by the nurse’s station so they could keep an eye on him. One of the nurses told me they saw him rubbing his leg with tears in his eyes and asked him if his leg hurt. At first he didn’t answer so she ask him again, “does your leg hurt or are you just unhappy”. He answered, “unhappy”. Heartbreak. At 8:00 A.M. Dr. Miller and
Dr. Mook removes his head wound stitches. He has no pain medication and I hold his hand. He moans as they dig for stitches within his newly grown hair. Before long both of us are crying, our heads bent together. I see tears in Heidi’s eyes (intern). That ordeal over they bring in a new bed. It is like as tent that zips up on all four sides to keep him in bed at night. While we wait to go to the gym Amy (P.T.) stops by our room to see how he is doing. I tell her the story of him getting out of bed and when I look at Zack he is upset with tears in his eyes. I ask him what’s wrong, did he want me not to tell the story and he says “no story”. He is very emotional now. This is part of phase four…coming into his emotions. He may cry and not know why. In the gym we have Amy (P.T.) and Debbie (O.T.) since Mary Beth is off today. They do a lot of stretching muscles that haven’t been used in a while. They work on trying to get Zack to grab at a small ball held at eye level. He tries and gets very frustrated. He knows what to do and can’t make his body do it. Scott is with us this morning and it is equally hard on him. When he stands to get back into his chair Scott ask for a hug. Zack puts his arm around Scott and pats him on the back. It is an emotional scene and I know that Scott is thinking how badly he wants his son back. Scott has to leave for work and we return to Zack’s room.
We try out the new neck brace and it does keep Zack’s head up but he hates it. He takes a short nap and we get ready for speech therapy. Kathy has him eat ice and drink water with no problem. She brings out lemon ice to try which he really likes. She puts in for a swallow test for this Wednesday where they will give him things to swallow and x-ray at the same time to insure it’s going down the right way. If he passes the swallow test we will be allowed to give him certain things to eat in very small bites. Kathy is anxious to get this eating thing out of the way so she can work with him on speaking. Right now he speaks only when he wants to and not very often. We need him to start answering questions and expressing himself verbally. In our afternoon P.T./O.T. session they take him to a private room. He needs less distraction. He has a different O.T. therapist and they work on passing a balloon back and forth. He seems more interested in the noise it makes when he runs his hand across it. When we return to his room Rick Thompson (friend from Christian Academy) is waiting. They play with the baseball again and Rick takes him for a walk in his wheelchair. They run into Scott on his way up. Scott asks Zack to wink at him and he does. They come back to the room and we spend a lot of time showing Zack different pictures of his friends. Another therapist, Elizabeth, comes in to tell us that Zack will start art therapy tomorrow around 5:30 or 6:00. He will have it twice a week for 30-45 minutes. Art enables people with brain injury to express themselves in different ways. They talk about being angry, frustrated, confused and sad and this is expressed on paper. I am anxious to see how Zack does. Scott has to leave to pick up the girls and watch Dylan’s football practice. He asks Zack for a kiss and he complies. We stand him up and Scott gets another hug and pat on the back. It almost seems like Zack is comforting him and that is what Scott needs right now. We have several more visitors but Zack is tired and we get him back to bed. He sleeps for quite a while and when he wakes up he seems restless. He keeps going for that head wound and it is quite the challenge trying to keep him directed at something else. We decide it would be a good idea to take him for a little walk in his wheel chair and Rita (Scott’s Mom) is happy to do it. Zack is doing so much better today than last week and we even see improvement over the last few days. This new emotional state will be hard on us and we are finally realizing what a long, grueling process lies ahead. As he recovers we will experience things that won’t be pleasant. There will be times when visitors won’t be a good idea and we will have to limit them. But please remember that these are phases that are temporary and once they are through we will want his friends to visit again. As we prepare to leave Zack is watching a football game. He seems very much like the old Zack we knew…ignoring us while the game is on. When we get him into bed he is standing again, much taller than I am. He hugs me and rubs my arm very gently. Tonight I ask for fervent prayers. Please pray that we get as many unexpected smiles as tears. Please pray that Gods gentle hands direct Zack’s head back to midline. Pray for strength for Scott because he is in pain since the future is so uncertain. It was hard for God to watch his son suffer and He knew the outcome. We know that He is suffering again with us because our cries reach even to the ears of God.
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