Tuesday August 16, 2005

Tuesday August 16, 2005 Zack was asleep when I arrived because he had gotten up early, cruised the halls and was talking to everyone (low, muffled whispers). At 9:00 he had speech therapy in his room. Kathy asked him if he knew his name. He knew his first, middle and last name. She asked him how old he was and he said 16. She explained he wasn’t 16 yet but he would be on his birthday. He got very upset when he didn’t know his birthday. She told him that this was August and asked what month came after August. He told her September. Zack said of Kathy “she help me talk” but broke our hearts later when he said, “Where is Zack”? He decided to take Kathy for a walk and ran into Amy (P.T.) in the hall and hugged her. 10:00 P.T./O.T. down in the gym and they worked with him on the alphabet. They used big blocks and he said the alphabet but had trouble selecting the right letters. Could say the whole alphabet but got very upset when he couldn’t choose the right letters and tried to push Amy away. He played baseball and caught very well and was throwing much better with his right hand (it is still very hard for him to use it). While they were waiting he said, “My Dad is not picking me up”. He is really talking a lot more but we just wish we could understand him better. Amy had him kick a ball for a while and also walk several flights of stairs. When he returns to his room he is wore out and lays down to take a nap at 11:30. I had to drag him out of bed to eat lunch. Dana (day nurse) came and told us that Zack had graduated from tube feeding since he was eating so well. They cannot remove the tube from his stomach until 6 weeks after it was installed (July 22nd) but at least he won’t have to deal with that at night when he goes to bed. I had to help Zack eat lunch because he kept trying to get up and go back to bed. Finally he was finished and wanted to go to the bathroom. He looked at himself in the mirror and wanted to take his helmet off. He rubbed his hands through his hair like he was trying to fix it and got upset when he saw his laceration. I explained that he was getting better and we would just keep his helmet on so he didn’t see it. He is starting to be interested in his appearance again. Checking out his teeth in the mirror and pulling his pants down below his waist. Back in speech with Kathy at 1:30 he matches up basic shapes like a square, heart and circle. He had problems with the more difficult ones (he got 5 out of 12). 2:30 he is back in the gym with Amy (P.T.) and Mary Beth (O.T.) they have him put together metal pipes. They would show him a picture and he had to duplicate the design. He did very well copying several pictures, smiled a lot and was proud of himself. Then they had him sit on the floor to see if he could get up to a standing position. They were proud of him because he did it and they didn’t have to show him how. It is amazing how much we take for granted. How intricately God has woven our bodies together. How complicated the brain and body working together. Spend one day watching these therapist and tell me that we are a product of random selection or chance. Back in our room Rita was telling Zack jokes. When she said knock, knock he answered, whose there. Scott arrived with Chris (he has worked for Scott since Zack was a toddler). Scott was overwhelmed at how clear minded Zack seemed. He asked him if he knew what a “Wet Willy” was and he licked his finger. Zack laughed and covered his ear. Scott explained to Zack that Chris had been worried about him since he saw him in ICU and he reached out and shook Chris’s hand, as if to say I’m O.K. now. He was talking a lot to them. When it was time for Scott to pick up Dylan and the girls he took me out in the hallway and was overcome with emotion at how well Zack was doing. He came back into the room to say goodbye and Zack said, “See ya brother”. We truly feel blessed each day when Zack progresses to the next stage. We hardly know what to pray for and God answers it before we ask. He knows the desires of our heart. Zack had several visitors from school telling him how much they missed him on their first day back. He smiled for a picture with them and then cried when they left. When dinner arrived Zack did not want to get out of bed to eat. When he was hungry and we moved to the table he decided it was faster to eat with his fingers. I had to keep stopping him and putting a fork in his hand. He couldn’t get that right hand working fast enough so I would put the fork in his left hand but he would transfer it to the right. He got very frustrated and tried to get up several times to go back to bed but I would redirect him back to the table and tell him he couldn’t use his fingers. Then he got mad, got up from the table aggressively with his chest puffed out. When I told him to sit back down and eat without using his fingers he got very mad and pushed me and said loudly, “I don’t want anything”. Fortunately Holly (day nurse) had come to the room and she stepped in to settle him down. He went back to his bed to lay down and she explained that this aggressive stage could get a lot worse. Frequently the therapist are sent to the emergency room after a patient has been aggressive. We hope this is short lived in Zack (I think it will be better when he can communicate) but it is an indication of progress. Remember, as his brain rediscovers his emotions, everything is exaggerated, including anger. If the phases seem worse and worse we have to remember that actually they are a sign that Zack is getting better and better. The aggressive phase typically last through Rancho Level 6 and then a light bulb will just go off inside and he will be the one asking us questions. When the last of his friends are leaving he gets emotional and walks up to me and says, Don’t leave me. Hold my hand”. It was heartbreaking to see him so afraid to be alone. Donna and I discussed that part of his frustration could be from the fear of what is happening to him. After his friends left we went for a walk to the nurses station and he was telling them that Carolyn and Kristen were there. He got very frustrated when I told him it was Avery and Taylor. I guess now I am the bad guy making him cry. We went back to his room to watch T.V. and I asked the nurse to go ahead with the Trazadone at 10:00 so that maybe tonight I can leave by 11:00 P.M. I am getting very tired and looking forward to a vacation some day. Again I ask for prayers that Zack will get his voice out so we can understand him and hopefully end some of this frustration. Pray also that he can start sleeping better and that too will help with frustration if he is not so tired. Scott would like to ask that you also say a prayer for Chris Hatler, his dear friend and man of honor, who is also dealing with serious medical issues of his own. We are well aware of the power of prayer and know that our Heavenly Father hears us. Sorry, time to go I’m falling asleep.