Sunday August 20, 2006

Sunday August 20, 2006 Since my last posting on the anniversary of Zack’s accident I have had many people ask if I intend to keep updating now that it has been a year. Although we no longer see the day to day changes in Zack, he still continues to recover and I feel compelled to write about our journey. Zack started school as a Junior at Christian Academy last Wednesday August 16th. None of us slept well the night before, anxious or excited for what this new school year held. It was bitter sweet. As we approached the campus we saw the Seniors (who had camped out the night before) in their bathrobes and lawn chairs. They were holding up signs that read “Honk if you love seniors”. Fighting back the tears I honked and waved at all the kids that Zack has been in school with since Kindergarten. Zack should be standing with them, shouting and waving...he would have been a senior this year but for that fateful night. I was worried about how Zack was feeling as he waved to several of the guys on his old basketball team and as we past them he looked at me and said “Did you honk? Why would they want to stand out there in their bathrobes? Next year if my friends want to do that I am not wearing my robe!” There you have it. Zack did not dwell on the fact that he should have been there with them but rather how foolish he would feel in front of the school in his robe. I quickly glanced the other way so he wouldn’t see the tears in my eyes and thanked God silently for this absolutely wonderful attitude He has given Zack. When I pull up in the carpool line all my kids pile out of the car, grab their backpacks out of the trunk and walk into the building like any other school day. I drive away, passing the seniors again, honking and waving, but this time I am smiling. I drive to work thinking about how Zack teaches me what is important without even realizing it. I should be grateful that he is even able to walk into school this year, not worried that he has fallen a grade behind. I am interested in talking with all my kids at the end of the day to see how their first day back to school has been but I am particularly anxious for an update from Zack. He tells me he ate with his old friends at lunch and that they thought they were “cool or something because they were seniors but they are the same guys as always”. They laughed and goofed off just like they did as Freshman. He is in a new homeroom this year and most of his classes are with Juniors. Because he carried such a heavy class load as a Freshman (with the intent on taking college prep courses as a senior) we are fortunate that he has three study halls this year. He goes to English, then study hall, History and Bible and then directed study hall (a smaller class where Jalynn, part of the discovery department, can help them), algebra and then he ends his day with his tutor Carol Britton. We are counting on this schedule to help him insure success this year in school. Zack is confident that he will get good grades and his attitude and determination will go a long way getting him there. However the aphasia still presents a problem. Unlike elementary and middle school, where our school supplies lists are mailed our in advance, in high school the students go to class and write down what they need. Zack reads me what he wrote down. English: 3 text books, 100 folders, lots of paper. His list in each class is rather confusing but he insists that he knows what he needs to get. I decide to get 3 notebooks, 3 folders, 3 binders and lots of paper for each class and hope that is sufficient. I ask Zack if he will be embarrassed to ask his teachers if these items are right and he smiles at me and says, “Mom, I was wrecked. I am not embarrassed to ask them anything”.
Zack continues to attend a small group Wednesday night Bible study for high school and college students. Each night when he comes home he tells me what he learned. He always starts the same. “Mom, you know what I found out?” He talks to me about Job and how Jesus was Jewish (which he finds amazing). He listens and drinks in biblical knowledge like a new Christian. The scripture that he has studied since Kindergarten takes on new meaning since his accident. It is another of the blessings that God has given us. Zack hungers to learn about the God that saved him. He is still a typical teenager, interested in girls and music, but now he is interested in our opinions and what he can learn from the Bible. We don’t know what lies ahead. We know what will happen next week and maybe next month. But next year is a promise God granted us that remains unknown. We speculate, are hopeful but don’t quite dare to look that far ahead. We are grateful that time is in God’s hands and we continue to pray that He will be a lamp unto our feet, a light onto our path. Illuminating just enough to give us hope but keeping the future in the dark to make us lean on our faith. It is a posture that I have become comfortable with. One that I count on to keep me focused on just how blessed we are. I ask that you pray that our faith will continue to carry us through Zack’s complete recovery.