Thursday July 28, 2005

Thursday July 28, 2005 It was a rough night last night. Zack was doing the river dance with his legs until 2:30 AM. He was all over the place and half the time both feet were hanging off the bed. I had to keep getting up to cover him and put his feet back in bed. I remember at University when he wasn’t moving his legs at all how I would pray for any movement. The nurses use to tell me that there would come a time when I would wish he would just hold still. Well…that was last night. Dr Stevens (physiatrist) and Heidi (resident) came in at 5:30 and woke us both up to evaluate him. It seems comical now that they turned on the lights and asked me questions after 3 hours of sleep when my brain wasn’t functioning, but they have to cover for Dr LaRossa so rounds start early this week. Jennifer is our nurse today and she has worked at Frazier for 5 years so I can feel confident with her care. Dr Skolnick (pulmonary) comes by with his resident and discussed changing his trach to one that can be plugged so he could talk when he is ready. Zack is reaching up and feeling his face. He fingers his eyebrows and feels his ears. I love to watch him but today I am very emotional. I haven’t cried in a few days and now the floodgates are opened. I look at Zack and he seems to handle this with such dignity and grace that I am ashamed of myself. I feel a battle within between Gods will and my fearful conclusions. I try to read my Bible but instead get out a journal and pour my feeling into it. Dr Borhan (pulmonary resident) comes in to check on Zack and sits down to talk with me awhile. The staff here cares so much, not just for Zack but for his family too. A Nutritionist comes by and explains that Zack has been getting 1800 calories and they want to start beefing that up to 2100. We need to build up his strength so he can really participate in therapy. 10:30 I notice some blood on his pillow. He has scratched his head wound and it is bleeding. We will have to pay close attention because stitches itch and his hands are roaming now. I have requested a consult with a wound care nurse so we can review the orders on how to care for it. 11:00 Amy (physical therapist) arrives for some bedside therapy but we spend most of her time getting Zack dressed. It is so good for both of us for him to be in regular clothes. At 1:00 his wheelchair arrives and we go to the gym for the 1st time. It is hard work and Zack at times resist and gets a little mad. Amy tells me that is a good sign. They bring out a full size mirror and for the 1st time he sees himself. He stares intently and I get the impression that he doesn’t believe it is him. Mary Beth (occupational therapy) shows me several moves that I can continue to work on with Zack in his room. He really has a lot of tone in his right arm and shoulder. He is also neglecting his right side. He will not look at anyone to the right (common reaction since his brain injury is on the left side) so we need to stand on that side to encourage him to look that way. It is hard since he will look at you from the other side so everyone wants to be on his left to see those beautiful eyes. We move to speech therapy and meet Kathy Pfeiffer. She turns out the lights and uses a small flashlight and tries to get him to track to the right. This is going to be our biggest battle right now…getting him to recognize the right side. She uses ice cubes on his cheek to stimulate him. She rubs ice on his lips to try and get him to lick them. He salivates but doesn’t swallow. He is very tired after PT (physical therapy) and OT (occupational therapy). When we return to his room there some of his friends were waiting. One of the nurses suggested we take him outside since it was such a pretty day. We are all very excited to spend a 15 minutes with him in the sunshine. It was a bit overwhelming with the bright sun and traffic noises. I could tell after only a few minutes that it was too much stimulation so we came back to the room and put him in bed. Dr. Skolnick came by and ordered a chest x-ray and culture of his sputum (the fluid in the upper respiratory). Larry (the 21 yr old motorcycle accident/brain injury survivor) and his Mom come by to see us. Zack is asleep worn out from his therapy. I need to be asleep. We talk about Larry’s recovery and again I am overcome with emotion. I want so badly to see Zack in the condition that Larry is in. Walking, talking, going to school, having fun with his friends. It takes a good cry to get it out but I am so glad Larry came by. It is encouraging to look into the future and see great possibilities. Dr Miller (physiatrist resident) explains that we really have to be aware of over stimulating Zack at this point or he can become very agitated and stop responding. They put a “quiet zone” note on our door and want to limit how many people are in the room at one time. We have to be careful that there are not several conversations going on at once. I want him to have visitors and the doctors agree as long as we are sensitive to Zack’s responses. As he moves through these phases of recovery we will have to be flexible especially after a big day of therapy when he needs to rest. Scott, Donna and the nurses convince me that I need to go home and get some rest. Sometimes when I am here I can’t see how far he has come with his recovery. Friends that haven’t seen him in a few days are amazed at how good he looks and how much more alert he seems. I realize if I am stressed out and emotional it is not good for Zack. As badly as I want to always be by his side I go home. Scott stays until it is time for his bath, knowing that afterwards he will sleep for the night. I ask for prayers that I will be patient with God’s timing. I ask for wisdom to know when it would be better for Zack for me to leave him in the excellent care of the staff here. I ask everyone to continue to pray that Zack’s recovery will be used to glorify God. Please pray that his friends will visit and leave believing in the power of prayer. That we will send out of Zack’s room many witness for Christ…that they will be encouraged to speak of their faith.
On the lighter side…God took care of my ants. Now I need him to take care of the skunks so that when I am home my dog doesn’t get attached and bring it in the house. It is hard to sleep with your fingers holding your nose.