Saturday October 29, 2005

Saturday October 29, 2005 Zack was up before me this morning. Scott had left for work early and I slept until after 9:00. Zack was in the living room playing Nintendo. When I went to the kitchen I noticed a bowl of orange juice on the counter. I asked Dylan about it and he said Zack did it. I was puzzled that Zack would drink orange juice out of a bowl when Dylan told me he put it on his cereal. I called Scott on the jobsite and told him that Zack had put orange juice on his cereal for breakfast and wasn’t expecting his reaction. He got very upset and emotional and told me he had to go. I told Dylan and Kyle that their Dad was upset by it and Kyle told me it wasn’t that weird. She said she remembered in preschool that when they ran out of milk they would ask kids if they wanted it with orange juice and several kids ate it that way. Zack came in and told me he was tired and was going back to bed. Since it was only 10:00 AM I told him it was too early for a nap and to come play cards with me. As we played the card game “Golf” I asked him if he knew that he had put orange juice on his cereal. He said that he wanted cereal and we were out of milk so he just used orange juice instead. I asked him if it was good and he said a little bit. I called Scott back to tell him that Zack didn’t confuse the orange juice for milk, he only used it because we were out of milk. This made Scott feel somewhat better but he explained that it just brings to reality that Zack is not the same as before. He would have never put Orange juice on cereal before his accident but that isn’t so terrible. I loaded Zack, Dylan and the girls up and we went to Waffle House for lunch before dropping Dylan off to tennis practice. Then I took Zack and the girls to Wellspring Christian Bookstore to buy him some new C.D.’s. Scott had confiscated all of the C.D.’s (a lot of kids bring music to Zack, mostly stuff they have burned themselves) and listened to them. Many songs were inappropriate and some were downright disgusting. I let Zack listen to dozens of Christian rap artist and we bought 5 new C.D.’s that he really likes. The beat sounds just like the secular stuff all the teens listen to but the words are pure. We leave the bookstore and drop Kyle off for basketball tryouts and then head to Dylan’s tennis match. Zack sits next to me and asked questions about tennis but he also wanted to go out in the car and listen to his new C.D.’s After the game, as we head back to pick up Kyle, Zack is on my cell phone making plans with his friends. When we arrive home several of his friends are waiting there for us. He decides to go with Dan and Tiffany to the Hurstbourne Baptist Youth Group bonfire. It is at someone’s house on ten acres and they have hay rides, play night games and lots of good food. It is a safe environment and we have several parents keeping their eyes on him (as well as his friends) so that Scott and I can go out to dinner. Zack is home at 10:00 PM with Tiffany and Dan. Several other friends come over to play pool and before I know if I have Dan, Andrew, Trey and Rick spending the night. We check in on them periodically and when I looked down at Zack at 1:00 AM he was a zombie on the couch trying to stay awake. He wants so much to be able to hang with the guys but it is so tiring for him. We are happy to provide a safe place for them all to hang out (as long as we can approve the music) because we have to be sure that Zack follows the rules. It is hard for him to understand why things are different for him. I explain to him repeatedly, while he begs me to let him ride with his friends, that it is very easy for him to hurt himself. I am paranoid about 2nd hand smoke (which causes seizures in people with brain injuries) and I know Zack would not make good decisions about what was safe (if he even remembered). We have to keep him close, try as much a possible to control his surroundings, educate his friends and try to teach him to be aware of what is dangerous. We are lucky that his friends have been through all of this with us from the beginning because they understand our concern and appreciate that we aren’t ready to give them the responsibility of keeping Zack safe when he is out. As he recovers our biggest challenge will be to make him aware that he can’t do exactly the same things as his friends (and say it in a way that doesn’t make him feel handicapped). Although it is not good for his friends to smoke, it is far more dangerous for Zack. Although his friends could have a car accident and get hurt, if Zack were with them a simple fender bender could re-injure an already bruised brain and send him back to the hospital. We pray that Zack is patient with us and understands that in time these restrictions will be lifted. We pray that his friends will be sympathetic to our situation and not make Zack feel pressured to go along with the crowd (and so far they have been nothing but supportive). It is harder and harder to see Zack’s deficits now as he has progressed so far, but he still has a brain injury, the aphasia is still present, his memory is weak, he doesn’t recognize his limitations and he is too precious to risk. Please pray that he will continue to recover completely. And pray with confidence as scripture has promised. 1 John 5:14 “This is the confidence which we have before Him, that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us.”