Friday November 11, 2005

Friday November 11, 2005 Zack got to sleep a little later this morning because Scott was taking him into therapy. I made sure he took his medication and made his lunch. Lindsey (therapist aid) helped Zack make out his Christmas list. He typed it on the computer and it was quite enlightening. Some of his request were normal teenage stuff, like an ipod, a jacket from Abercrombie and white tennis shoes (his favorite thing to buy). But it was how he ended each one that was funny, like “I’ll take some underwear doggity dog”. He has a great sense of humor which shows in the way he writes. He had two speech sessions with Leslie (his primary therapist) and they focus on reading comprehension, scanning and attention to detail. He also met with Dr. Perri (psychologist) and they discussed how long it takes to recover from a brain injury and the fact that he is not quite ready to drive. He was given the task of coming up with three things that are different about him since his brain injury. That is what we will talk about over the weekend, helping him recognize what is different about him. Since there are positive and negative differences I am curious to see what Zack thinks. When I pick him up I have an opportunity to talk with Suzanne (occupational therapist) about Zack’s progress. I inform her that we scheduled the 2nd screening on his Neuro eye exam and she tells me that they have been working on helping Zack recognize that he has a visual deficit. Vision therapy will teach him how to compensate for his visual field cut but they have already started that process at Frazier East. Suzanne says Zack has a good attitude, works hard and is cooperative but he doesn’t recognize his deficits or he blows them off. He knows he has a difficult time reading but he doesn’t see the correlation on why he can get his drivers permit. It is a blessing that he is not depressed but the flip side of that is that he thinks everything is fine. We are really in a Catch 22 situation because in order to compensate and correct deficient areas you have to recognize that they exist but when someone realizes how much things have changed it can make them very depressed. We pray that God will help Zack see that he is different now but that with every negative impact he has been blessed with a positive one. On the way home Zack and I discuss why Scott and I don’t want to just drop him off at the movies. He says other parents just let their kids go and I explain that other kids don’t have a brain injury. He says it stinks and he doesn’t know why we are making such a big deal out of it. I get his photo album out and show him that disturbing picture of him in ICU with all the tubes coming out of him and the monitor attached to his head. I point and say “This is why it’s a big deal. Four months ago we didn’t know if you would even be alive. You are not like your friends. They can walk into a smoky room and not be affected but if you did you could have a seizure. We are scared. We love you and have to be careful. God gave us another chance for you and we don’t want to blow it”. Tears welled up in my eyes and Zack closed the album and said OK. I’m not sure he got it but he did see my anguish. His attitude softened, he became more agreeable and asked what we would let him do. This will be an issue for a long time. We will constantly be trying to make him understand why he can’t do everything his friends get to do. He wants so much to just be a normal teenager and he isn’t. Our consolation is that he is healing and that means improvement. His future is uncertain…when will he get to go back to school, will he graduate with his class, can he safely drive, how will he manage in college, will his friends still want to hang with him if his limitations require them adjusting their plans?
One thing is certain…God is healing him and we have faith that he will heal him completely. It will take time and God’s timing is not our own. We can’t understand each path God chooses for us and Zack is no different. We have to trust that His wisdom is greater than ours and His plan is perfect. We have to be thankful for how far He has brought us in such a short time and the support we have had through it all. I continue to receive encouragement and Zack’s friends are still here. We are not alone although at times it feels like we are the only parents in the world facing these issues. We are blessed with support from Christians we didn’t even know before Zack’s accident. I want to thank all of those who selfishly give their time. One group has formed a committee to raise money for expenses that insurance won’t cover. They have started a fundraiser that offers a cookbook as a gift for a donation to “Gifts for Zack” (see the icon on the right side of this site). They spend hours passing out fliers and organizing distribution. We are not alone…God’s family testifies how we are all parts of one body. Each dependant on the other. We have faith, hope and love and have learned firsthand that the greatest of these is love. We are not alone…we have Zack. We know how lucky we are, we see the blessing in each smile. We ask that you pray for Zack’s gentle awakening to his deficits. That he will be aware of how he is different but know that through faith God will guide his path. Please pray that God will grant us wisdom as parents to know when to give Zack more responsibility and freedom to make his own choices and therefore mistakes. We cling to the promises of Gods Word:
Jeremiah 29:11-13 “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.”
Jeremiah 17:7 “Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him”.
2 Corinthians 4: 17-18 “For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”
Mark 9:23 “Everything is possible for him who believes”.
Continue to pray for complete recovery!