Saturday January 29, 2006

Saturday January 29, 2006 Zack has gotten into the habit of doing homework prescribed by his therapist. He is conscientious of what he has to accomplish each night but I have to be keep an eye on him or I will find him taking breaks to play cards with Kyle. He says Jose (occupational therapy student) tells him to take a break after he has been reading for awhile (which I confirmed with Jose). When I drill him on what he is studying, which happens to be the driving manual so there is an added incentive, he amazes me with his recall of the questions involving numbers (ie…what is the safe following distance on wet roads?). On Wednesday night he goes with me to Hurstbourne Baptist Church where I am scheduled to speak to the youth group and their parents. I had discussed with Zack how he might be able to help me by answering questions from the audience when my speech was through. There was an excellent turn out of both teenagers and adults and only a few moments when I became visibly emotional. Zack came up on stage as I continued making my point that he could have been the poster boy for “this could never happen to me”. I asked him to share with the audience what problems the accident had left him with and he quickly blurted out “aphasia”. He had practiced in the car, trying to remember three deficits and aphasia was the one he kept forgetting. He wanted to hurry and get that one out before he forgot. Several people asked questions which he would answer and I would elaborate. He seemed very comfortable and not nervous at all. When we were through and walking out to the car he told me that it was very good. He said that he wanted to do it again. I asked him if he was scared to be on stage and he said not at all. I asked him why he thought it was good and he explained that because everyone listened, believed how bad he was hurt and that he was trying hard to get better. I asked him what his favorite part was and he said “when you cried”. I was surprised and asked him why and he said, “because it made it seem really important, like you really cared”. We agreed that maybe we should come up with a simple script that he could practice so he would be more prepared next time. He is anxious to speak again and says he thinks it is important that people know what happened and that God was with him. His ministry begins. Earlier in the week I spoke at Fern Creek High School through the Fellowship of Christian Athletes to a group of about 25 or 30 students. I was surprised that there were kids at Fern creek who had heard of Zack’s accident and I wish he had been able to come and answer questions there as well.
On Thursday I discussed with Dr Perri (psychologist) the change in medication he would like to try. I called Dr Mook (physiatrist) and explained the results of Zack’s Neuro Psych Evaluation and why Dr Perri though we should discontinue the Amantadine. This is a brain stimulant and used to help him focus and pay attention, but his test reveals he is above average in that area. Since memory was his area of biggest concern, Dr Perri wanted to try ACH-E inhibitors. These are drugs that affect the levels of neurotransmitters in the brain (neurotransmitters are chemicals that transmit impulses from one nerve to another) and facilitate memory. Dr Perri had discussed this with Zack and Zack had said maybe they should try taking him off the Amantadine and see if his attention level changes before they stop it altogether. This is excellent insight on his part because he doesn’t suddenly want to have problems focusing (his reasoning and problem solving skills are very much in tact). Dr Mook told me he would read the evaluation and then call Dr Perri with his recommendation. When I pick Zack up at the end of the day at Frazier we talk about his progress. He has been given homework tonight but he also needs to go to his first practice for the Southeast Easter Pageant. He and Scott join other Roman soldiers for prayer and fellowship and when they get home Zack takes over the office to study. Later he comes to me with his papers to show me how much work he has done and asks me to drill him to see what he remembers. He does well.
Friday morning I decide that we will skip the Amantadine today. I make his lunch and put a note in it reminding him to tell his therapist that he didn’t take his medication and ask them if they notice any difference. After lunch I receive a phone call at work from Zack. He told me that I was suppose to wait until Dr Mook said it was OK to stop taking the Amantadine…but…he was doing great. When I pick him up I wait to see Dr. Perri and have opportunities to speak with both Jose and Leslie (speech). Jose said he saw no difference in Zack’s ability to focus and Leslie praised how well he had done. She told me he had read more today than previously and felt if anything his attention was better (praise the Lord). I met with Dr Perri and got several other questions answered in regards to the evaluation. He states that Zack’s injury is very unique. Most people struggle with attention, concentration and their working memory. Zack has no problems in these areas. He is a challenge for his therapy team. We discussed the IEP (individual education plan) which needs to be addressed before Zack returns to school. They are not used to working with private schools and don’t quite no how to approach the IEP with Christian Academy (CAL). I tell him that I think Carol Britton (Christian Academy Discover tutor) could help us develop a reasonable program and assure him that we have the full support of the staff at Christian Academy. We are all treading on new ground…Frazier with CAL, CAL with a student returning in a much different academic state than when he left and me with a son with a brain injury. It seems that Zack is the only one not apprehensive about his return to school. This is the next step in his recovery…his return to school (even if it is on a limited basis right now). Friday night Zack goes bowling with Ashley, Maddy and several other girls. They come back to the house later and then Scott sends Maddy and Zack next store to the Getz’s where I am at a birthday party with Logan. They only visit for a short time but it is enough to make Kim Getz emotional at his progress. Kim saw him a University Hospital and Frazier Rehab many times, through many stages. She is amazed at how far he has come and how sweet he seems now. She told me that when we had pizza with their family last weekend, Zack told Michael (her son) that he wanted to spend more time with him this summer at the pool. They use to be fairly close but they went to difference schools and Zack was a grade ahead of Michael and soon Zack was too cool to hang with him. Things are different now. Zack has changed. He is much more sensitive to other people’s feelings and more open about his own. This morning he went running and came back to fall exhausted on my bed. He told me he wanted to talk to me and said he got closer to God while he was running. He said he remembered how he used to cuss before the accident (something I never knew and certainly never witnessed) and he talked to God about that. He says when he runs he talks to God. I am reminded of the time during therapy in the early days at Frazier Rehab. He was having skateboard races on his belly with Amy (physical therapist) to strengthen his arms. They were racing around the gym and laughing when suddenly Zack stopped and just started crying. Amy asked him if he was hurt and he shook his head. She asked him what was wrong and he simply said “God showed me the world”. Amy relayed that to me and later that night as he lay in bed I asked him about it. Again he said “God showed me the world” and “It wasn’t good”. I asked him what that meant and he said he didn’t know. Scott was anxious to talk to him about it also and came by early the next day before. He said, “Zack you told your Mom that you talked to God yesterday. You mean you prayed to him.” Zack replied, “No, I met him”. Scott didn’t know what to say and said they would talk about it again. Zack doesn’t remember any of that now but I think it was his continuing conversation with God, started when he was in a coma at University Hospital. You can be skeptical, it doesn’t matter. All I know for sure is that Zack has been changed. I truly understand now what Dr. Kraft told me would be his deeper appreciation of life. He called Scott today just to tell him what a beautiful day it was. He always points out the clouds and sunsets to me, tells me to listen to a particular song that he says is really good and praises meals that he finds delicious. He has changed. He has the same friends and new friends and a new best friend, one that has become much closer. He was with him through his fight in the hospital and his struggles through therapy. He will continue to walk with him through his recovery. Most of us have to wait until we reach heaven to realize that God was with us through our tears and rejoiced in our triumphs. Zack is blessed to understand that now and he is embracing how this experience is making him a better person. The great physician healed him and now the potter molds a new creation. Pray that those watching will see the power and mercy of God. Continue to pray for complete recovery so God may be glorified.

Tuesday January 24, 2005

Tuesday January 24, 2006 Zack, Scott and I met with Dr. Perri (psychologist) at Frazier East to review his Neuro Psych Evaluation taken in the beginning of January. This determines where he is at in his recovery, his deficit areas and gives us a baseline to compare future evaluations. A lot of what they discovered was not surprising. Reading and verbal comprehension was impacted by aphasia. The test showed deficiencies in processing speed and attention to visual detail and visual tracking. His visual perception problems impacted his performance across tests requiring visual acuity, but we expect this to improve with vision therapy (more on this later). His immediate memory is impaired, with retention of auditory information being a bigger problem than visual memory (which was still weak). The surprising finding was that his working memory was very strong. Working memory is the ability to hold several facts or thoughts in memory temporarily while solving a problem or performing a task. Working memory is an intermediary and active memory system in the information processing area of the brain. It is an important memory system and the one that most of us use every day. He demonstrated above average attention and concentration and was strong in perceptual organization and reasoning. He scored above average in a category test that measures novel problem solving abilities (new learning) that are not dependant on academic training. He easily and quickly developed strategies to use in situations of novel problem solving. Some of the results were confusing and we didn’t have enough time to thoroughly review them with Dr Perri so we will have to meet again. Overall he is considered mildly impaired. In general observations they say he is cooperative, gives good effort, pleasant, friendly, charming and unconcerned about his deficits but not unaware of his aphasia. The examiners believe he may not fully experience the magnitude of his cognitive impairment until he returns to school. Dr Perri agrees with us that his attitude has been very good and he is not easily frustrated. Zack knows that reading is now very difficult for him and he states it as a fact much like he gets really tired in the afternoon. We have been blessed that depression has not been a factor and we pray that his attitude will remain positive. Encouragement, positive reinforcement and providing situations where he can succeed will continue to be our focus. Living his motto “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength” will carry us through his recovery. Dr. Perri did get to see firsthand where Zack gets his sense of humor and silliness from since Scott met him for the first time today. Scott told him that he also suffered a head injury as a child (which explains a lot… lol). When Scott was 12 years old he was hit by a car while riding his bike, ironically on the day after he was baptized. He was pronounced dead on arrival to the hospital and was in a coma for a while. He doesn’t remember the weeks leading up to the accident but he vividly remembers the old lady who he said climbed under the car and wiped the blood from his face at the scene of the accident. All the witnesses say there was no old woman, no one wiped blood from his face, but Scott still insisted she was there. He remembers when he came home that all his friends told him he was different, he wasn’t the same as before the accident. Now whenever Scott acts strange we always laugh and blame it on “blunt force trauma”. As we prepare to leave Dr. Perri asked Zack if he has any questions about the test. After his usual funny comments about finding a girlfriend he asked Dr Perri, “Did I do good? Did it say I tried hard?” Dr Perri responded that he didn’t need to look at test results to know that Zack tried hard. He has worked with him long enough to know now that when it is important Zack will give it his best effort. As we walk to the car Zack asked me if I thought he did good on the test and I assured him that he did fine. He may seem unconcerned about his deficits but he is definitely concerned that we know he is trying his best. When we get in the car I listen to the voicemail from Dr. Weinberg (behavioral optometrist) responding to my request on the progress of his visual therapy (I told you I would get to it). He explained that Zack is making gains in visual teaming, focusing and tracking and they are just getting started with visual processing. They are pleased with his progress but he needs to do more homework in visual therapy. I never knew they were giving him work to do at home. We discussed the importance of vision therapy for driving and reading so Zack brought out some papers to practice on teaming and focusing. As we drove home Zack kept pointing out the sky to me, showing me different clouds and they way the rays of the sun streamed through them. He always notices the sky now. I stop and get gas and we sit in the car and watch the clouds through the sunroof and he tells me how beautiful it looks. Appreciation of the world God gave him back is a blessing that doesn’t escape us. We stop at Coffee Crossing and he gets the coffee drink that Scott promised earlier. We pick up the rest of the kids at Christian Academy and then head home so Zack can take his nap. After dinner Zack practices his vision therapy and then we sit down with some of Dylan’s English workbooks and work on vocabulary. I was surprised and Zack was pleased with himself that he could fill in the blank on sentences using words like disgruntled, indignant and gingerly (words he doesn’t use everyday). Because he was successful he tells me that he wants to start sitting down more often and do “learning stuff like this”. He finishes his homework assignment from Leslie by reading a book to Logan (which of course she loved). Once everyone is in bed I read the Neuro Psych Evaluation for the 4th or 5th time, this time with a highlighter. I wonder how well he will manage school and then remember my visit there yesterday. When I came to pick the kids up from after school care I decided to see if some of Zack’s teachers were there. I got to speak with Janet Smith (8th grade science) and Mrs. “Mac” McFerran (English) both who are anxious to see Zack return to school and ready to help him succeed. They tell me what a great class the current sophomores are and that Zack has a lot of friends there. I leave feeling very much a part of a family here. This is not just where Zack gets an education but where he has grown spiritually. Since kindergarten he has learned scripture verses that he has now lived through. He has overcome tremendous obstacles and come out with a positive attitude and deeper faith. It is not coincidence. It is not due to great medical care or excellent therapy, although we have received both. It is a strong foundation of biblical truths. It is the sincere prayers of many believers. It is the awesome power of a mighty God delighting in the victory He is being given through Zack’s struggles. Please continue to pray for Zack’s complete recovery for God’s glory.
Proverbs 3:5-6 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight”.

Thursday January 19, 2006

Thursday January 19, 2006 Zack has to do homework now so I don’t get as much access to the computer. Leslie (speech) and Jose (occupational therapy) both have started sending Zack home with work to do in preparation for his return to school. He has to read and highlight the important facts of the article. Then he has to write it down as notes and sometimes type those notes into the laptop. Even Dr. Peri (psychologist) gives him copies of the website to read and highlight for discussion at their next session. Since he hasn’t been doing homework since he got out of school last summer it is a real challenge for him to stay focused after being in therapy all day. He didn’t think it was fair that everyone else was out of school on Monday for Martin Luther King Day and he still had to go to “school”. Kyle and Dylan were even questioning me on why Zack had to go on a holiday. Scott picks him up at 3:00 and they go golfing. When he gets home I ask him if he wants to play cards and he says he has to do his homework first. An hour later he comes in to show me the passages he has highlighted and pages of notes he handwrote. He is proud of himself but now he is ready to play cards. I enjoy our card games so much because we can talk about his return to school or whatever is on his mind. It is so refreshing to have a teenager who is actually interested in your opinion. Zack truly believes I know what I am talking about now and trust that I will advise him correctly (I only wish some of that would rub off on Dylan). On Tuesday I pick the kids up from Christian Academy (CAL) and when I get home we tell Zack about tonight’s girl’s varsity basketball game against Mercy. His friend Brooke plays for CAL so after dinner Zack, Dylan, Kyle, her friend Sarah and I drive to Mercy for the game. We have only been in the car 5 minutes when Zack turns the radio down and asks me what time we will get home. He says he really has a lot of homework and needs to get home right after the game to get started. I remind him that he should have told me before we left home about his homework because maybe he shouldn’t have come but he promises me he can get it all done after the game. Since it was an away game (and the boy’s varsity team was playing Trinity at home) none of his friends were there so I got the privilege of sitting with Zack. It had started to snow lightly as we arrived at the game and when we left it was snowing quite hard. Of course the kids were excited saying that there would not be school tomorrow and Zack warned me that if they were out of school he was not going wither. I told him Frazier didn’t really have “snow days” and he reminded me that it would be much more dangerous driving to Frazier since it was a lot farther from home, than it would be driving to CAL. When we got home he had to start on his homework which was several pages from Leslie and more from Jose. After about an hour he comes to tell me he is tired and needs to go to bed. He says he probably won’t have school tomorrow because of the snow so he didn’t need to do all of his homework, but just in case I should wake him early to finish it. He told me to get up first and see if school was closed. Wednesday morning I start the coffee and turn on the news. School is open and I wake Zack at 6:30. He gets up and heads to the office before he even eats breakfast. I am impressed with his determination. When he knows it is important he wants to do his best and that is why I think he will succeed at school. His short term memory is still not good so school will be very difficult, he will need lots of help but he has a great attitude and a strong belief that he can do it. He also is ready to prove his motto “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength”. We don’t know what the future holds, what exactly school will be like for Zack but we do know that God will not abandon us now. He is listening to the prayers of many faithful believers who continue to lift Zack up. I had a meeting at Southeast Christian Church Wednesday afternoon and decide to check to see if the results of the Easter Pageant auditions are posted. There is Zack’s name as Roman Soldier (along with Scott). When I pick Zack up I hand him his envelop with his rehearsal schedule and other information. I tell him he is a Roman soldier but he has no speaking lines and he says that’s probably good. I tell him he will have to practice making a stern Roman face and he asked me what is “stern” (this is aphasia). I explain that he has to make a sort of mad looking face and he tries to do it without smiling. He will need a lot of practice or they will call him the happy Roman soldier.
Thursday Scott picks him up from Frazier and they go bowling. Scott wins the 1st game but Zack wins the 2nd. On the 3rd game Zack is up by 13 pins in the 9th frame and gets a little cocky and misses his spare. Scott warned him never to leave an open door for the competition and proceeds to bowl three strikes in a row to win the game. Zack learns a valuable lesson but also impresses his Dad because he tells him to always play his best. If he wins he wants to know it is because he was better, not because his Dad was taking it easy on him. When I get home from work it is just Zack and I (the girls are with friends, Dylan is at a middle school basketball game and Scott is at a meeting at church). I fix Zack a quick dinner and after changing clothes ask him if he is ready to play cards. He tells me he has to do his homework first. Our new normal seems much more like everyone else’s. It wasn’t long ago that Zack couldn’t read or write and now he is diligently focused on doing homework. It was less than 4 months ago that I spent all my time at Frazier Rehab. My world consisted of therapist, doctors, my little notebook full of endless documentation of medicine and procedures, late night drives home and little sleep. Now I look back on those times rather fondly. Scott says I was very privileged to get to witness Zack coming back to life. He had the much more thankless job of keeping the family held together at home. Many nights he was on the deck with both girls on his lap crying that they missed their Mom and explaining to Dylan that Zack needed me more right now. After they were in bed he would sit on the deck with a constant puddle of tears on the ground in front of him. He says at those times he would think of Ross Brodfuehrer who lost his teenage son in a car accident years ago. He knew that Ross would give anything to be where he was now, with his son alive even if his future was uncertain, and that would give him the strength to keep going. He would look at the sky, pray and cry and remembers vividly watching the Big Dipper go from low to high in the sky as the weeks went by. This is where I would find him when I came home from Frazier at 12:00 or 1:00 am. I am so thankful that now we are together again as a family. I am reminded of how hard we tried to get Zack approved to be sent to the Centre for Neuro Skills in Dallas. How blessed we are that God was in control and knew how much better Zack would do surrounded by his family and friends. He placed the right people (Jude Thompson with Anthem), closed doors and opened others and “lit the path” for Zack’s recovery. I doubt if Zack had been hundreds of miles away from us, no matter how good the facility was, that he would be doing as well and be as happy as he is now. You could say that we learned the hard way how to listen for God’s direction. But in God’s perfect plan it was the only way. It was not a test of our faith. It was an example of how God molds us into better servants. His strength is made perfect when we are weak. His glory is magnified when we trust Him with fervent prayers. Our belief that He hears our prayers and is in control is the best witness for an unbelieving world. We ask that you continue to bear with us in prayer for Zack’s complete recovery to give glory to God. Do you believe? Are you confident in His power? Shout it out!

Saturday January 14, 2006

Saturday January 14, 2006 We have had a busy last few days. Thursday morning Carol Britton from Christian Academy Discovery program came to observe Zack in Speech and Occupational therapy with the goal to start working with him on Rhythmic Writing. She called me later in the afternoon to say how much she enjoyed meeting him. She saw how cooperative he was and how hard he works. She laughed when she said that between sessions Zack asked her if she wanted to go to lunch when they were through and told her he was excited about going to the Winter Ball this weekend. She found him full of personality, said that we have a very special son and expects to have fun working with him. We discussed Zack returning to school at the end of February for two days a week and then continuing his therapy at Frazier East the other three days. Carol suggested that he would benefit from math classes and Bible. She feels that once he starts back in the Fall he could be a successful student with help from the Discovery program. When I pulled up to the house after work I realized we were the only people on our street with outside Christmas decorations still up. I walked in to find Scott napping on the couch and he informed me that he had had a hard day at work and was in no mood to take down decorations. I looked at Zack and asked if he would help me and he said Rick was picking him up to go bowling but he could help me till he left. In twenty minutes all the lights and wreaths were down without one complaint from Zack. I couldn’t help but think about last year when I had to nearly threaten him to get them down and he moaned the entire time. When Zack and Rick came home Zack proudly announced he bowled a 172 and then wanted to beat me in cards. He certainly hasn’t lost his competitive edge.
Friday was Kyle’s 10th birthday and Scott dropped the kids off to school while Zack and I went to Kroger’s to pick her up a cake. When we got to Christian Academy Zack knocked on her classroom door and much to her surprise delivered her cake. He asked if we could walk to the high school wing so he might see some of his friends. As we continued down the hall he started to giggle and said (pointing to his ears) “I can’t believe I can walk in here with these on!” (CAL doesn’t allow boys to wear earrings). We got there just as homeroom let out and the halls filled with students. Zack was in heaven as guys walked pass giving him the “high five” and girls came up to hug him. He got to see all his friends and told them that he would be coming back to school in February. They went to class and we headed to the front door and ran into Mr. Greener in the hall. He shook Zack’s hand and asked him how it felt to be walking the halls at school again. Zack informed him that he was going to be back there soon and I told Mr. Greener that Zack was tickled over getting to wear his earrings. We all laughed and Mr. Greener warned him to enjoy it now because when he came back the earrings came out. Zack was flying high as we drove to Frazier. We hardly noticed that it was pouring down rain because we were both so excited about the prospect of him returning to school. Christian Academy has supported us with prayer and fundraisers since Zack’s accident. We feel part of a special family bound together by our belief in Christ and God’s purpose in healing Zack. When I come back to pick Zack up at the end of the day he tells me I need to come in and talk with Leslie (speech therapist). We talk about Carols visit and she tells me she had a phone message from the Brain Injury Trust Fund wanting her opinion of the Rhythmic Writing and Instrumental Enrichment program (I had contacted them for financial assistance). Leslie wanted to talk with me before she returned their call and I knew what she was going to say. She is not familiar with these programs and feel they are not really applicable to Zack since he does not have a learning disability but a brain injury. They are very reluctant to consider anything outside of the normal methods of therapy that they were educated in. She told me that she would tell the Trust Fund that Zack could benefit from the program but it was not necessary to his recovery. She would instead tell them that Zack could use a laptop and software programs that could help him organize his notes once he returned to school. Leslie thanked me for trusting them with Zack, told me he was very intelligent and a joy to work with BUT school was going to be very hard and he was going to need a lot of help just to get passing grades. She has talked to Zack about how his language problems (aphasia) will hamper him in every subject and that they would be delighted if he was able to get C’s in school. I reminded her that we expected the aphasia to continue to get better and she said that that is what they hoped. As we drove home Zack asked what we talked about. I told him that we discussed his return to school and that she warned me how difficult it was going to be for him. He looked at me and said, “She doesn’t think I can do it. She thinks I’m going to get D’s and F’s but I’m going to work really hard and prove I can do it”. I told him that she said he was very smart and a joy to work with but she just doesn’t have the faith in him that we do. He would have to work very hard and get good grades and then maybe we could prove them wrong. He said, “It makes me kind of mad that they don’t think I can do it. I might get some C’s but I am going to work hard and I will get some A’s and B’s too”. I don’t know if that is possible, and we will be very happy with C’s, but with Zack’s determination (and help from Carol) he could surprise us all. It dawned on me again, much like it did after the first two weeks at University Hospital, that all the professionals look at Zack as the typical patient with a brain injury. They have always presented him to us in the worse possible scenario. His doctors thought he would be a vegetable and then as he improved a little they said we should look at nursing homes. They tried to convince me that Frazier Rehab would never take him and they did. At Frazier they warned me about all these scary phases he would go through that never appeared. I remember Dr. Calvery (psychologist) telling me she would like to see more frustration from Zack and warned me of the severe depression that was sure to follow but it never came. Everyone expects him to fit some kind of brain injury textbook case and still they do not consider one very important factor…the power of prayer. God has carried Zack in the palm of His hand. He has whispered words of encouragement to him when there was little hope. I am reminded of the day at Frazier Rehab when I was working on the computer in Zack’s room while he slept. He woke up and I went to sit next to his bed to talk to him. He really wasn’t talking much at this point but he pointed to the computer. I asked him if he wanted to type and he said yes. I put the laptop in his bed and I typed “Zack” and told him that was his name. He placed his hands on the keys and slowly typed “zackistheonlywayttoshowyou”. I was reading it while he typed and even with no spaces knew what he was saying. Chills ran up my spine and I asked him what it meant. He said, “I don’t know”. I asked him if he was done or wanted to type some more and he said that was all. I saved it on the laptop and quickly called Scott and Donna. That statement, “Zack is the only way to show you”, has come to mean so much to us in many different ways. It was my encouragement to speak to other teenagers at local schools and churches. Zack was my example to show them how seemingly innocent choices can change their lives forever. I remember the first time I went to the Vine Sunday night service at Southeast Christian church and watched Zack sing with eyes closed and hands lifted. He showed me how to worship. The doctors and therapist are all very good at what they do BUT they lack faith. Now Zack will show them how to overcome impossible odds through faith. I don’t know what the future holds. I am not naïve enough to think it won’t be hard. Maybe Zack will show them by excelling in school or maybe he will show them that he can still have a positive attitude and just get passing grades. All I am certain of is that God has not brought us this far, overcoming major obstacles, for us to become discouraged. Zack will continue to show us whatever God wants to reveal. Zack and I continue our discussion about school and that it will be hard and he will need tutoring in every class but we know he can do it. I tell him, “Remember, I can do all things…” and he interrupts with “…through Christ who gives me strength”. I told him that will be his motto and he can be a silent witness to his therapist just like he was to his doctors. When we arrive home we make plans to take Kyle out to dinner for her birthday. Dylan had plans to go ice skating and Logan was staying with our neighbor so Kyle, Zack, Scott and I go to Outback Steakhouse. The four of us had a great time and ran into the English’s. Dan English was Dylan’s football and basketball coach and they watched him and the girls a lot when we were constantly at University Hospital after the accident. Dena came and sat with us amazed that she was having a conversation with Zack and that he looks so good. Zack and I went over to say hello to Dan and he told Zack that he saw him at the hospital shortly after the accident. Zack told him that he was really messed up then but he is doing good now and is going to be back in school in February. We experience such a different outlook from them. They reminded Zack that their whole family has been praying for him everyday and they know he will continue to get better. They have faith in him too. Or rather they have faith that God can do miraculous things. Again my thoughts turn to the promise in scripture as Jesus tells us in Mathew 17:20 “I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you”.
Saturday I prepare to paint Kyle’s room and Zack helps me wrestle the bed out of her room. We work for fifteen minutes trying to get it out and finally it was Zack who figured out how to do it. After painting all day (thanks for the help from my sister Colleen) I finish with just enough time to clean up and take Zack to pick up his flowers for the dance. He looked very handsome in his suit with his hair fixed to wear no scars could be seen. We meet the rest of his friends at the Raines house for pictures and I watch him pile with the rest of them into a limo and head to the Winter Ball. I drive home with a smile on my face thinking “Ha, they thought he would never walk again and now he is off to a dance”. Scott and I meet for dinner with the Jaha’s and I tell Donna everything that has been going on with the Neuro Psych Exam and our plan to start Rhythmic Writing. She too has faith because she has seen Zack struggle through each phase and come out on top. She knows the power of prayer and reminds me that it doesn’t matter what grades Zack gets or what his therapist think will happen when he returns to school. Zack has already succeeded. When we get home Zack is laying on the couch talking with Tiffany (she watched the kids for us tonight). I ask him about the dance and he told me he had a lot of fun. He danced with a lot of different people and now he was very tired. He went to bed and we said goodbye to Tiffany. I fall asleep not discouraged but full of hope and a little anxious to see what God will do next. Zack still has aphasia and it will hamper his success in school. He still has a visual perception problem that makes it difficult to read which will also be a struggle in school. But we believe he can overcome these things and, whether he gets good grades or not, be successful. We ask for your continued prayers for Zack’s complete recovery. We pray that God will use Zack as a tool to witness to those who don’t understand the power of prayer that they may be convicted and see His mercy and glory. I have cried silent tears of hope through most of this posting and leave you to dwell on the promises of scripture.
James 1:2 “Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.”
1 Peter 1:6 “In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith-of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire-may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.”

Wednesday January 11, 2005

Wednesday January 11, 2006 Zack is back in the swing of getting up at 7:00 in order to be at Frazier East for therapy. He is staying up later now since it is taking him longer to fall asleep when he goes to bed at 9:00. We talked about eliminating the afternoon nap but he is usually so tired when he get home from therapy that he really needs a short one. Dr Perri suggested we keep a sleeping log to determine how many hours a day he is sleeping. Since I anticipate starting Rhythmic Writing next week, and it needs to be done every day, it would be great if Zack didn’t need that nap but we will go with the flow.
Saturday Zack went with me to Kyle’s basketball game and really enjoyed it. At one point when she was sitting on the bench he went over to give her some pointers. She was smiling as he explained that she had to get the rebound because those boys on her team were not going to pass it to her (she is the only girl playing in her age group). In the afternoon we went to Dylan’s basketball game but he spent much of the time in the other gym shooting baskets with a guy on his baseball team from a few years ago. Physically
Zack is in great condition. He has started running in the evening and often does sit ups with the intent on getting his 6 pack back. Saturday night we went to Christian Academy Homecoming Game and Zack got to see all his friends including many who had graduated last year. Several people had not seen Zack since the hospital and were amazed at how great he looked. They were even more blown away when they talked with him. Several girls came up to hug me with tears in their eyes saying how blessed they were just to see him.
Sunday was such a nice day that Scott took Zack and Dylan to play golf after church. He said Zack played pretty decent, he still has a great drive but his form needs a lot of work. After gold Zack talked him into bowling and while they were there Scott got a phone call reminding him that the Easter Pageant at Southeast Christian was having a mandatory meeting and he had promised Kyle she could participate this year. They raced to church to sign up and it looks like Zack will be in it also. On Monday night Scott took Zack back to Southeast to audition and there were many people who recognized him as the boy they had been praying for over the last 6 months. It will be interesting to see if Zack gets any kind of minor role or maybe even a speaking part. They have started to give him some homework at Frazier East. He has to copy portions of the driver’s manual into his laptop and they quiz him on what he has learned. I am surprised at how he will sit for an hour and type away at a pretty good pace. Dr Perri still reads with him entries from this website to test his memory. Yesterday he sent home an old entry for Zack to read on his own and on Friday he will question him to see how much he retained (reading comprehension). Zack has told me several times he needs to get a job because he needs money (especially now with the Winter Ball this Saturday night). I told him on the way home that I had a project he could help me with to earn some money. Kyle’s birthday is this Friday and she wanted her room redecorated. I told Zack he could help me paint which he agreed to do as long as I would pay him (typical teenager). When we got home Zack took a short nap while I got everything prepared. Together we got two coats of orange (that’s right she wants her room orange and hot pink) paint on one wall. It was not an easy project since we were covering a light color. Between coats Zack ate pizza and I started to paint an old trunk that Kyle wanted orange also. Zack came back upstairs and was admiring our work and without looking sat on the trunk. Fortunately it was nearly dry so he didn’t get any paint on his clothes. We discussed how he had to really pay attention or we would end up with a big mess and then laughed as I fell into a newly painted portion of the wall and got orange paint on my t-shirt. Each night Zack and I play cards and talk about all kinds of things. We were watching TV and playing Kings in the Corner when “Remember the Titans” came on. We had an interesting conversation about prejudice and Zack said, “You know why I like black people so much? Because of Rick. He’s a really good guy”. It just proves that one person with a great attitude and a heart for God can be a good example for an entire race (at least to Zack). It makes you think twice about how you treat another driver during rush hour traffic when you have that Christian bumper sticker on your car. I have seen simple examples in Zack of what Dr Kraft told me would be a “deeper appreciation of life”. He always tells me when something I fixed him to eat is really good and he will go on about a particular actor he thinks is a good guy or a song that he really enjoys. He has learned to express his appreciation for many things he took for granted before the accident. He also asks me if I’m OK when he sees me stressing out and will offer to “take care of Dylan” if he causes me any trouble. I am looking forward to Saturday to see him dressed up for the dance and hear him describe how good it was to be dancing (I hope Kara wears comfortable shoes). Many readers have requested I post new pictures and I am working towards getting several scanned and posted (hopefully some from the dance. Please pray that Rhythmic Writing will help to develop new pathways and that we can work it into our daily schedule. Continue praying for complete recovery for God’s glory.

Friday January 6, 2006

Friday January 6, 2006 Zack had to get back to his normal schedule in order to be at Frazier East for therapy this morning. The last few days he has been able to sleep in because he was taking his Neuro Psych Exam at Frazier Rehab downtown and didn’t have to be there until 1:00 pm. The first part of the exam was on Wednesday so before I left for work I wrote a list of things that Zack needed to do before I was back to pick him up. I woke him to give him his meds and also gave him his cell phone so that I could call and be sure that he was up on time. I decided to lay some clothes out for him because we would be visiting with the nursing staff on 4 South (where he lived for 69 days) and I wanted him to look nice (I didn’t want to show up and have him dressed in sweat pants).
His list included reminders to eat a good breakfast, shave and remember to put his pill case in his pocket. I arrived to pick him up in time for us to have lunch together. He looked great in his sport coat and his hair fixed perfectly with gel to hide his scars. As we ride to Frazier Rehab I remind him of who we will see there and he points out people in his photo album. He closes his book and says, “Don’t tell Dad but I’m really close to you now”. I remind him that I spent a lot of time with him the last 6 months and right after the accident I never left his side. I told him I was lucky to have an understanding boss that enabled me to be off for a long time but his Dad had to go back to work after two weeks or so. I told him he was never alone, except for late at night when he was sleeping, and that when I got too tired his Dad came to stay with him. When we get to Frazier we decide to let him walk up to the nurse’s station without me to see if they recognize him. He walks up and says, “Hello, have you seen Zack Hornback?” They were all in shock and couldn’t get over how good he looked. We got to see Dana, Jennifer, Shirley, Dr. Mook and Heidi. Zack recognized almost everyone but didn’t remember exactly what they did for him. Then we go to find Mary Beth (O.T.) and Amy (P.T.) in the therapy gym. They were quite impressed with him and couldn’t believe how good he looked. They promised to come to our house soon and play pool and then we went to see Kathy in speech. She recognized him right away and we discussed how aphasia is still his daily battle. She told Zack how in the beginning she thought he would never talk and that she spent many hours dealing with aphasia early in his recovery. Finally it was time for him to go to the psychology department and check in for his evaluation. While he met with Dr. Frantom I was given a stack of questions to answer. The first page was 150 questions about Zack’s behavior and then they handed me another form with just as many similar questions (and I thought Zack was the one being tested). Once Dr Frantom was finished with Zack she said she needed to ask me a few questions. I was with her for an hour discussing Zack’s symptoms and giving her information about the book I just read, Instrumental Enrichment and Rhythmic Writing. She explained that many therapists are resistant to new ideas because they have been education to think about therapy in one way (inside the box) and it is difficult for them to think outside of the box. She also tells me that it will take up to three weeks to get the evaluation results (and I thought we would know something next week). Finally I am able to leave and go back to work while Zack is being tested. When I return Zack is waiting for me and seems pretty upbeat. He nonchalantly tells me that the test was really hard then he clarifies it by saying that some of it was hard but some of it was easy. I asked him to give me an example of something that was hard for him and he said, “Name three vegetables”. He was not able to name one. Again we see that the aphasia has a tight hold on him. If they were to give him a list of 100 items and tell him there were 3 vegetables on that list he would correctly pick them out but he can’t recall their names on his own. We stop by again to say goodbye to Mary Beth and Amy and then go back to 4 South to see what night shift nurses might be on duty. We see Emily the ward secretary and the first one that Zack would flirt with all the time. She told Zack how he uses to ask her if she wanted to take a shower with him and then teased him that she had given him many showers while he was there. His face turned red and he got very embarrassed. We head for home and he tells me he is very tired and can’t wait to take a nap. While we were driving he puts on one of his new CD’s and says that this kind of music sounds really good to me. It is Switchfoot (when I look at the sun) and I am thankful that for a while I have a reprieve from Rap. Zack goes straight to bed and sleeps for 1 ½ hours and when he wakes up he is ready to play me in cards. We play while I am making dinner and then continue our game after we eat. Scott tells me he would like to go watch some football game somewhere and then Zack tells him he needs to talk to him about something. I hear him tell Zack to go get dressed and then Scott comes in to talk to me. He wants to know if I have any idea what Zack wants to talk to him about and seems amusingly nervous. He goes in the other room and Zack comes in to tell me that he is going to tell his Dad that he wants to get closer to him. Scott tells Zack to get in the truck and they leave. Fifteen minutes later they are back and Zack is smiling. He goes downstairs to play pool with Dylan and Scott sits down with tears in his eyes and tells me of their conversation. He says Zack told him that he has gotten really close to me and that’s great but he wants to spend more time with his Dad. Scott tells him about the song by Jim Croce (remember Cats in the cradle) that talks about a boy that always wanted to spend time with his Dad and his Dad never has time. Then the boy grows up and the Dad wants to spend time with him but the boy never has time. He told Zack (with tears streaming down his face) that he just gave him what every Dad wants…a teenage boy that wants to spend time with him. Zack finishes his pool game and comes up to play cards with me. I tell him how happy his Dad is that he wants to get close to him and then we talk about all our family has been through these last 6 months. I tell him how hard it was the first few weeks at University Hospital and how I started this website and people would post messages. I told him about one message in particular that was a gift from God during a very emotional time. I said it was from a teenage girl that went to Christian Academy and she was responding to my entry when I was so desperate for him to wake up. She told me that she believed that God was using this time to talk to Zack, that He was revealing himself to Zack and when He was through talking with him He would wake him up. Zack sat very quiet and listened to my story. I asked him if he felt like God had been talking with him and he said he hadn’t thought about it much until then but he thinks that maybe God was talking with him. He told me he really wanted me to find that message in the printed copies I have from the website. He went to bed with a very thoughtful expression and I began to read. I stayed up until after midnight searching for the message and finally found it on July 15th. Andrea Chadwick had said just that and she also believed that God was holding Zack tightly in his arms telling him that everything would be alright. I am transported back to that night and reliving the experience. I vividly remember how desperate I felt and that it was the first time that I was mad at Zack because he wouldn’t wake up. I was alone in his room at about 7:00 PM when I finally had time to read the postings that someone had printed off and brought to the hospital for me. I had read several before getting to Andrea’s and when I read it I felt Gods peace come over me like a blanket. I raised my hands to heaven in that darkened room and said “Thank you God”. Then I turned to look at Zack (no longer angry) and said, “When you are done talking with him, wake him up”. Now I am crying as I mark the page and head to bed. I try to sleep but am feeling all of the emotions of those early days. I thank God for rescuing us and drift to sleep knowing that he has miracles in store that will be revealed when I see Zack’s smile the next morning.
Thursday I repeat the list for Zack and go down to his room with his meds. I wake him long enough to hand him the pills and glass of water and then walk towards his closet. He stops me and says he wants to pick out his own clothes. I leave corrected and head to work. When I am on my way to pick him up he calls me wondering what is taking so long (apparently Dr. Perri’s fear that Zack wouldn’t want to go back to complete the 2nd part of the test is unfounded). I tell him I will be pulling up in 5 minutes and when I arrive he is standing on the corner waiting. He looks sharp, hair fixed just so and then I realize he is wearing the jacket to his new suit (the one I am expecting him to wear to Winter Ball next weekend). He smiles and says it is important to look good. When he gets in the car he turns the radio down and says he has two things to tell me. He says that after he tells me the first one he doesn’t want me to forget about the second. I am intrigued as he continues. He says, “I was with God a lot last night. I thought about all that stuff you read me. And the second thing is I want to learn some new dance moves.” I am torn between laughing and crying. He says that dance is next week and he wants to learn some new moves. I ask if he means slow dancing and he says no he is great at that, he wants some new moves to “tear up the dance floor”. We agree that he should talk to Rick Thompson because he can really dance. We grab a sandwich on the way and get there in time to visit the nursing staff on 4 South. This time we get to see the other Jennifer and her reaction to the Zack with hair. She recognizes him right away but is blown away at his progress. We stop in again to say hello to Mary Beth and Amy and Zack takes a turn at the “light board” in the therapy gym. He obviously is much better at this now and he knows it. He goes to the psychology office to begin the 2nd half of the test. We sit down and Zack tells me that he really likes those two girls, they are his “buds” and I tell him that they loved him. He looks at me surprised and says, “How could they love me when I was so messed up when I was here?” That’s why they loved you, I replied and I leave to go back to work. When I return to pick him up at 4:00 he is not finished. They come out to tell me that they have about 30 minutes longer that he could either complete now or come back on another day. He is tired but wants to get it over with so I wait. While he continues I ask one of the therapist how he is doing. She seems surprised at how well he is doing in the math portion of the test and confirms what Frazier East has said, that his math skills are in tact. However in reading comprehension he is not doing so well. As Zack would put it “I suck at reading”.
The aphasia is a major barrier here but also his visual perception problem makes just simply reading difficult. He has to exert all of his resources just to stay on the line he is trying to read (remember his eye movements are three times what they should be) then he has no energy left for comprehension. He would do better if we read him the paragraphs but then the aphasia would still prevent him from understanding some of the words we were reading. Zack was an honors English student and now he could not tell you what a vegetable is. We are not discouraged. Time, therapy and prayer will heal this deficit and we have faith that in Gods timing we will beat aphasia. It is 6:00 pm when we get home and Zack is very tired. We had eaten a sandwich on the drive home so he goes straight to bed. I go to wake him at 7:00 (Brooke Willoughby and her Mom had arrived) and Zack is walking up the stairs. He plays pool with Brooke and we watch “Dancing with the Stars” (I tease him about picking up some of their dance moves). After they leave we sit in the living room and I read to him again about the early days in the hospital. He stares at his feet as I recall the day when I fought with the doctors about pulling the tube out of his mouth because he hated it so much. I read to him the many postings by teenagers who were praying for him, even those that had never met him. He listens quietly for nearly an hour and then tells me he is tired, wants to go to bed and I can read more to him tomorrow. He stands up to leave and says, “I really am much closer to God now”. Again I stay up until after midnight reading these early postings. I vividly remember the night that I spent in his room, comforting him as he pointed to the tube in his mouth. I would pray with him, made promises to get that tube out and fought with the doctors the next day to have it removed. Memories of events come flooding back as I sat staring at those pages with tears streaming down my face. I remember the day that Dr Mutchnick came to explain that some patients aren’t able to manage the fluid that the brain produces and a shunt has to be put in to drain the fluid into the stomach. I asked him if he thought Zack would need it and what else could they do to “wake him up”. He looked at me and said the cruelest words I had heard since the ER doctor told us Zack may not live. He gestured to Zack lying motionless in his bed and said, “You need to get use to the idea that this may be all you ever have”. I looked at him in shock as he continued, “He may never wake up”. He left me in that room crying and so devastated that I didn’t even put it on the website. I remember walking like a zombie through the halls of the hospital that night mumbling the 23 Psalm and crying out to God. He heard me. I read about the day I went to look at Kosair Hospital with the intent of having Zack transferred there when he could no longer stay in University ICU. Although I had asked for God’s guidance I had already made up my mind and told Dr Mutchnick to start the process. But later that night when I called Kim Meyers (nurse for the Neurosurgery group) to see if they had started those arrangements she told me that Zack had been denied as a patient by Dr Moriority at Kosair. I was in shock and then she told me that we might want to start looking at transitional homes (their nice way of saying that Zack might be put in a nursing home). These were the lowest moments of our time at University and as I read about them every emotion comes flooding back. But then I read the posted messages…hundreds of people lifting Zack up in prayer, many of them never met him. I remember my niece bringing me the postings to the hospital one day and pointing out certain messages from teenagers quoting scripture. She was amazed at their depth of faith and their assurance that Zack would wake up. When you doubt this generation of teenagers just read what they wrote to me out of their own despair…how they turned to God for the answers. I go to sleep with that picture in my mind of God on his throne smiling down at me saying “Oh Eileen just wait until tomorrow”. We have physical evidence of the power of prayer and the mercy of our awesome God.
Friday Zack is back at Frasier East to continue therapy. He takes his driving manual with him with the intent to convince Suzanne (OT) that he is ready to take the test. When I pick him up I talk with her about how he did on the Neuro Psych evaluation. Zack had already told her that it was very hard and we discussed how specific his injury is to the language portion of his brain. She told me that her and Leslie (speech) had talked about ways to help Zack recall those words and suggested that a laptop computer might help. They agree that like most teenagers Zack does not take very good notes but he likes working on the computer so they want to develop techniques to incorporate a laptop into his therapy. She said it is obvious that Zack is very intelligent and they are baffled by his aphasia. She also agrees to let Carol Britton (a tutor from Christian Academy) come in next week to observe Zack in speech and OT so we can begin working with her on Rhythmic Writing and Instrumental Enrichment. I have hopes that these Christian based methods will develop new pathways and be the key to unlocking Zack’s words. They see them as treatments for people with learning disabilities (not brain injuries) and aren’t certain that they are applicable for Zack. I hope to change their opinion with Zack’s success. But considering where we were just six months ago, Zack lying in bed unable to walk, talk or feed himself, aphasia seems like a small problem. We pray specifically that God will re-file those words properly in Zack’s brain and have faith that in His time it will happen. God is probably laughing with us at some of the comical words Zack uses to express relatively simple request (we only have to look at the Giraffe to appreciate God’s humor). But if it never completely goes away and Zack always struggles to read we are a far cry from “this may be all you ever have” and him not speaking at all. When we are discouraged we only need to read the first 2 months of postings to put it all back into perspective. Zack’s life has been changed forever, not by aphasia, but by the knowledge of how many people cared for him. Many others have been changed by Zack’s story and, although they may not be as conscientious about their choices now as they were when this first happened, they only need to see Zack to be reminded of how God answers prayers. Zack’s understanding that he is closer to God is worth more than an honors degree. We are blessed beyond belief but this is not over. We pray with certainty that God will continue to heal Zack and use it for His glory. Continue praying for complete recovery and know in your heart “The Lord is the everlasting God, the creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and His understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall: but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles: they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” Isaiah 40:28-31

Tuesday January 3, 2006

Tuesday January 3, 2006 Zack was back up at his usual 7:00 am and had breakfast. I had set out his meds, Amantadine for brain stimulation and Lexapro for depression (of which we haven’t seen any) as I usually did, plus one extra Amantadine capsule that he puts in his pill case to take at lunch time. After he showered and dressed he came to the kitchen where I was getting a cup of coffee (probably my third since I’m dependant). I asked him if he had his pill container and he turned to go get it when I noticed the Amantadine was no longer on the counter. I asked him what he did with it and he said he took all his pills. I asked him if he took the red one and the small white one and he said yes. I asked him where the other red one was and he said, “I took that one too”. I reminded him that one of those was for the afternoon and then wondered if he would be extra attentive this morning. Fortunately I had read enough to know that it wouldn’t hurt him but was a little concerned that he had forgotten our morning ritual of the past two months. We had a little extra time before we needed to leave so Zack got the deck of cards and wanted to play “Kings in the Corner” (a card game that Scott at Frazier had taught him). He plays it very well and generally beats his therapist but he was remembering last night when I had beaten him 4 games to 2. He was not letting me get off so easy and wanted a rematch. It is a quick game that involves attention to detail and we had just enough time for me to beat him two more times. I guess the extra dose of Amantadine is not that fast acting (actually I was luckier with the cards I drew because generally Zack beats me). Driving to school he asked me again who he was supposed to talk to about getting his drivers license. I told him Suzanne (his occupational therapist) was the one to approve that and he said he was going to talk to her this morning. Barely an hour had past when I got a call from Zack saying he had talked to Suzanne and she said it was time for him to take the permit test. I was surprised, congratulated Zack who was very excited and hung up apprehensive at the news. I wasn’t ready for him to drive, even if he was. I don’t know if I will be ready a year from now but apparently I will have no choice. I am thinking about him as I go on to my appointments and again when I am at the office. I have his photo album with me and look through pictures of him in the hospital and at Frazier Rehab. Since tomorrow he takes the first part of the Neuro Psych Evaluation I told him we would go see Mary Beth, Amy, Kathy and the nursing staff on 4 South while we were at Frazier Rehab. We had been looking at the album together and he was pointing out people that he wanted to see. Now as I looked at those photo’s I am thinking of the mother who sat at the bedside of a very badly hurt boy just a few short months ago. She never imagined that her biggest fear in early January would be him getting his drivers permit. She never allowed herself to think much past the next day. On this day in August we were still trying to get Zack to recognize that there was a world on the right side of the room. He didn’t speak or walk or hold his head up for very long. Back then the thought of him driving never entered my mind and now I can’t get stop thinking about it. God has brought us so far in such a short period of time (although to Zack it seems like an eternity since his 16th birthday and he “should be driving”). It doesn’t take anyone but a glance in his photo album to see how different he is from several months ago. There are differences in him, although not as immediately obvious, now than before his accident. Not just the aphasia which is still a daily battle but in personality. It was pointed out to me on New Years Eve as we attended a party at the Jaha’s. Zack and the girls were with us (Dylan was at the middle school party at Southeast Christian Church). Michelle Jaha had her friends there and many of them had met Zack before the accident. I was talking with Michelle and several other girls when Zack came up to ask me a question, smiled at them and said he was looking forward to dancing later and went to sit with Tiffany (since she just had knee surgery she was on crutches). Michelle watched him walk away and shook her head saying “He’s so different now”. Before the accident when Zack went to their house with us he would nod a hello, then withdraw to a corner and get on his cell phone. It was a countdown to when he could leave and meet up with his friends. Now he talks with Michelle and her friends (seniors as Assumption High School) and enjoys himself in whatever situation he is in. He always comes to me surprised that people know about his accident (I on the contrary am surprised when anyone hasn’t heard about it). He is friendlier or outgoing in an innocent sort of way. Prior to the Jaha’s party we had stopped by another party to visit with old friends of ours who now live in New York. They had not seen us for a year and had heard about Zack’s accident from mutual friends. Kurt and Maronda were astonished to see Zack with us. He sat on the couch with them and explained each picture in his photo album. At one point when I joined them to offer further description of what they were seeing, Maronda said that Zack had told them everything pointing out his favorite pictures. He always refers to the pictures of him in the hospital as “this is when I was really messed up” but then quickly flips to his favorite one at Frazier Rehab with girls on each side giving him a kiss. At the Jaha’s as the clock strikes midnight and we all go around hugging and kissing everyone, Zack give Donna a kiss, smiles at her and says, “Hey, thanks for being at the hospital with me. I heard you were there more than my Mom (looks at me and laughs). Just kidding. No really thanks for being there for me”. He goes to talk with someone else and Donna turns to hug me. It is all we need to end this year…Zack with us, his sincere appreciation and that smile.
Zack calls me again after lunch to remind me to get there early to pick him up so I can talk to Suzanne about him driving. When I see her she is talking with another patient but stops to acknowledge me. I tell her that Zack called me and said that she told him he was ready to get his license. She replied, “No, no no. I told him he was getting closer to being ready for the test”. We laugh about Zack’s interpretation and I tell her that I’m not sure I will be ready for Zack to drive in three years. She says she doesn’t think she can hold it off that long but she understands how I feel. She also says he is doing much better and suggests that he bring his driving manual in so they can start reviewing the information. Zack walks up in time to hear that he has to start reading the manual and being quizzed on the information. Although reading is probably his least favorite thing to do right now he is anxious to start driving and will do whatever is required. On the way home I tell him that there is a Boys Varsity Basketball game tonight at Christian Academy and that we should see if Rick wants to go with us. He takes a short nap, we eat a quick dinner and head to the game. Although none of his friends are there yet he doesn’t want to sit with me and heads to the bleachers where all the other kids are sitting. Before long Rick arrives and my cell phone starts vibrating. It is Zack, only a few bleacher seats above me, calling to say he is thirsty and has no money. Some things never change! Zack got to visit with many students that he doesn’t get to see often and I spend most of the game talking to other parents. Everyone is interested in Zack’s progress and when he may be able to come back to school. I explain that he is still battling aphasia and needs more therapy but we hope he will return to school by the end of February. The Neuro Psych Exam will tell us a lot more. His deficits will be clearly identified and an individual education plan put in place. It is an important step in his recovery, so they can formalize the remaining portion of his therapy focusing on specific weaknesses, and the first step in returning to school. He will get to sleep a little later tomorrow and then we head downtown around noon. He will be tested until 4:00. He’s excited but has no idea what to expect. Dr Perri is worried that after the first day I will have a difficult time getting him back there on Thursday. I think Zack will rise to the occasion and although he will find it hard, tiring and somewhat frustrating, he knows how important it is and will want to do his best…both days. Pray that God will grant him extra stamina, determination and prolonged attention. Pray that if the results are less than we hope for that we will be encouraged for what he is capable of doing. Pray that his attitude will be a testimony to the strength he has through Christ Jesus. Pray for even fleeting moments that his recovery will be a testimony to Gods awesome healing power.
Let him be a witness to a bright future of hope, in spite of tragedy, through faith in God’s promise in Mark 9:23 “Everything is possible for him who believes”. Having a vision doesn’t necessarily mean knowing the specifics about what is going to happen next. It has to do with sensing the general direction you’re moving in and having hope that something good is on the horizon. It’s knowing that you do have a future and a purpose, and that it is bright. Continue to pray for Zack’s complete recovery for God’s glory.