Monday November 14, 2005

Monday November 14, 2005 Zack was up at 7:00, ate breakfast and took a shower.
On the way to Frazier East he looked at his photo album and asked questions about when he was “really messed up”. He pointed to different people on the staff at Frazier Rehab (like Mary Beth, Amy, Dr Miller and Shirley) and said they looked familiar. He liked the picture of him passing the baseball with his friend Rick so I told him how his Dad had chased after the ball when it was hit out of the park at the Bats stadium as he was coming to the hospital one day. He asked if we still had the ball and wanted to see it when he got home. He saw pictures of a couple of friends that he hadn’t seen in a while so he called Allie and Blake and told them to come see him. In speech they continue to work on word retrieval, writing and attention to detail. Today with Scott he watched a movie in occupational therapy and took notes. This was to work on sustained attention and visual scanning. As soon as I picked him up he reminded me that he was going to “that place across from our house” to eat with Andrew. I explained that I was nervous about him driving with Andrew even though they were only going to Fat Jimmy’s. He could not understand my concern and told me I was really making him mad. He had a dentist appointment and by the time we got there he was barely speaking to me. As we sat in the waiting room I attempted again to get him to understand that his friends have only been driving a short time and could easily have an accident. It wouldn’t be that serious for them but a simple accident could land him back in the hospital. After several moments of silence he told me, “I’m sorry Mom but if you just let me do some stuff with my friends I won’t get mad at you. I’ll be really happy and tell you I love you a lot”. I told him that these rules aren’t there to be mean but to protect him. His brain is very fragile and he could easily get hurt. His friends have different rules because they don’t have a brain injury. The more kids in their car the more likely they were to have an accident. I said the only way he could ride with Andrew was if he was the only passenger in the car. He glared at me and said it wasn’t fair. He got further disappointment when Dr Zanger told him that because of the Thanksgiving Holiday he wouldn’t be able to get his braces off until Nov 29th. Zack had expected to get them off next week but the consolation was that they would be off before we went to Nashville for the concert. On the way home he called Andrew and asked him who was going to eat dinner with them. He smiled when he hung up the phone because it was just Andrew. I took the opportunity to tell him we needed to set some ground rules so we weren’t having the same argument every time. I agreed to let him ride with a friend if they were only going somewhere close (not just riding around like teenagers do), if they had their license for at least 6 months and if he was the only passenger in the car. I told him he had to agree with the rules or he could just not ride with anyone (he’s lucky I don’t make him wear his helmet). He smiled, said OK and winked at me. Andrew was waiting for us when we got home. They played some pool and then Lauren and Rob showed up. When it was time to leave they split up so that Zack was alone in the car with Andrew. I reminded them all to put their seatbelts on and then cringed as they walked out the door. In less that an hour they were back playing pool again. Later Brittany, Kara and Taylor stopped by to visit and after a while they asked if they could go to Graters (next to Fat Jimmy’s) for ice cream. Zack said he would ride alone with Brittany. Two concessions in one night…I must be crazy. It is hard to find agreeable rules with your teenagers but it is much more difficult when your rules are much stricter than all the other kids. It is hard to no longer allow an activity that was commonplace before. It is no small blessing that Zack’s friends have watched him recover and remember what it was like several months ago. If they don’t agree with my rules at least they understand why they are there. Zack wants to be normal and they want to do normal things with him. Please pray that we can find a happy, safe middle ground. Pray that his friends understanding will be reinforced when they look at his photo album or listen to him try to remember someone’s name. Please pray that God will continue to give us wisdom and strength to see Zack through the fragile months ahead. Please continue praying for complete recovery.
Lord, you have said in your Word that when two agree, you are in their midst. I pray that the reverse be true as well-that you will be in our midst so that we two can agree.
Psalm 19:14 Let the words of our mouths and the meditations of our hearts be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, our strength and redeemer.