Tuesday November 22, 2005

Tuesday November 22, 2005 Zack was up at 7:00 had cereal for breakfast and showered. He decided to forego the hat again today and said he didn’t think his hair looked that bad. He was watching TV when I came downstairs and I decided it was a good time to get out “the notebook”. The early days in the hospital when we had a waiting room full of people, mostly teenagers, I passed around a notebook and asked his friends to write in it. We have never read it. They had written to Zack and I felt like we should wait until Zack could read it on his own. This morning I explained to him about the notebook and asked if he wanted to read some of it. He asked, “I don’t read too good right now so will you read it to me”. I only read a few because I couldn’t get through them without crying. It brought back the memories of when Zack could only lay there, no emotions, no movements. Then the pain in the words of his friends as they urged him to fight to get better. The silly jokes they used to cover up how scared they were. Guys saying how much they love him and girls retelling stories as far back as Kindergarten. I would explain to Zack who each person was that wrote to him and when I finished reading each one he would smile and say, “that’s good”. I told him we would read some others on another day and we left for Frazier East. He called Allie (one of his friends from Manuel) to tell her that he read what she wrote to him about his beautiful eyes and basically his eyes were open now if she wanted to come see them. He had three speech sessions today focusing on reading, impulsivity, memory and attention. I got a message on my cell phone shortly after lunch from Zack saying, “If you love me you will pick me up at 3:00 so I can go home and take a nap”. I arrived promptly at 3:00 and we headed home so he could take a nap before our 5:15 appointment with Dr. Weinberg (behavioral optometrist). He points out the clouds to me as we drive and how cool it is that the sun is shining around the edges. A deeper appreciation of life. I remember Dr. Kraft telling me that about Zack. He gets to sleep for 1 ½ hours before I have to wake him to leave. We arrived at Vision First and Dr. Weinberg reviewed Zack’s vision screening results. As we had learned on our last visit his biggest problem is fixation (the ability to move the eyes accurately from one point to another) and tracking (the ability to stay on a visual task). These make it very difficult for him to read because his eyes are moving all over the paragraph and all his energy is focused on just reading the words, forget comprehending what he has read. The good news is that Dr Weinberg feels vision therapy will help a great deal. How much of his visual perception problems are correctable, only time will tell, but he is hopeful and so are we. Parts of the test Zack did very well on (including some visual memory issues) and Dr. Weinberg commented that Zack had to have been a very bright student. With determination, therapy and prayer I am confident that he will be a good student again. We had to run to Kroger’s and pick up a few things before heading home and Zack explained that Scott (his Occupational therapist intern) gives him a list and he has to go to Kroger and find the stuff on the list. I tell him we need Buttermilk so let’s see if he can find it but he replies, “No way, I have to do that for Scott. I don’t want to have to do it for you too”. We gather our items together and he reminds me that we need “that stuff we eat in the morning”. I say cereal and he says “Yeah, you would have forgot it if I didn’t remind you” (he’s right!). At home we eat dinner and he gets ready for visits from his friends. Andrew, Tiffany, Rob and Kaitlyn stop in for a couple of games of pool and they talk about Zack’s party this Saturday night. Once they leave he gets interested in a basketball game on TV and although he is very tired he says he has to watch the game and groans when they go into overtime. Fifteen minutes later I check on him and his light is out and he’s asleep. Rita (Scott’s Mom) calls and somehow we end up talking about the night of the accident, who answered the phone, what we thought when we first saw Zack. I can remember it so clearly, down to what I was wearing. I flashback to when we first saw Zack laying on the gurney in the Emergency Room at University Hospital. I remember stroking his face and whispering the 23 Psalm to him over and over again…lingering on “He anoints my head with oil” and praying that God would anoint Zack’s head right there. I remember Scott sobbing behind me trying to recite the prayer but getting choked on his words. I remember his friends arriving, first one or two at a time and then in large groups. I remember them sitting on the floor in the hall, crying, praying, and whispering to each other in disbelief. Zack was a poster boy for “this could never happen to me”. Now his friends faced their own mortality and came to the fearful realization that it could happen to any of them. I hugged so many people that day but the one I really wanted to hug was Zack.
Joy to the World I can hug him now. Many mornings on the drive to Frazier I reach over and hold his hand (and he lets me). What a Thanksgiving we will have this year! No one out there can count more blessings than the Hornback family right now. I’m thinking that maybe Zack will have to say Grace before we eat because left up to any of us it could go on for days. I may only be able to moan and have the Lord know what prayers are etched on my heart. We will never be the same but that doesn’t mean it won’t be better. God continues to use Zack’s accident for His Glory. Tomorrow look up at the sky, see God shining around the edges of the clouds, thank him for all He has done in your life and be reminded to pray for Zack’s continued, complete recovery!