Friday December 30, 2005

Friday December 30, 2005 Zack returned to therapy yesterday after having a Christmas break for a week. He had enjoyed himself hanging out with friends and even let Dylan go to Puzzles one day to play games with him and Rick. Now as I packed his lunch he also packed school books (history, science and literature) in his backpack. As we drove to Frazier he told me that all his friends were still out of school and it wasn’t fair that he had to go back. I reminded him that he had his Neuro Psych Exam next week and it was important that he work on his cognitive skills and not just be on vacation right before the evaluation. He talked about his previous girlfriend Marissa and her visit this past Wednesday night. She had brought him a Christmas present and he remembered that it had “been good with her”. When I picked him up at 3:00 I went in to talk with Leslie (primary speech therapist). I was anxious to hear how he did with his school books but she said they did not get to them yet. Instead they had played several card games that were word based and he did quite well. He caught on to the concept of the games but still had difficulty with some of the language portion. When we got home he had time for a short nap before we all headed to Iceland for the “Jaha friends and family annual pond skate” (they rent the rink for several hours). Zack’s therapists were not keen on the idea of him ice skating, afraid that he might fall and suffer another head injury (which at this point would be tragic). I had assured Leslie that this was a controlled environment, that Zack would wear a hockey helmet and that I would be skating with him. Zack was the first one in our group with his skates on and didn’t seem to have any trouble balancing (of course we weren’t on the ice yet). Once I got the girls ready and Buddy gave us the go ahead we headed onto the ice. Several of Michelle Jaha’s friends took Logan so I could stay close by Zack. He skated with ease and kept asking me why I was following him. I was grateful when his friend Rick arrived so that I could relax my guard a little. We were not on the ice 10 minutes when I saw Logan crying and was told that she had fallen. I took her off the ice and examined the huge goose egg on her forehead. Of course she had fallen face first and hit, of all things, her head on the ice. That was it for her. The skates came off and we applied ice to her head. After a few minutes of TLC
I told her I had to get back onto the ice to watch Zack until her Dad got there. Fortunately, that was our only mishap. Zack seemed perfectly at ease on the ice, at times skating backwards, and never losing his balance. Still I was relieved when he decided to go upstairs to play games. We enjoyed eating pizza and talking with other friends of the Jaha’s (many of whom had been praying for Zack’s recovery). It was about 9:30 when Zack came to me and said it was time to go. I mentioned that it was still early but he looked at his cell phone and said, “It’s getting late and I have school tomorrow”. I smiled at his responsible attitude knowing that he was tired and agreed to let Rick take him home. When we arrived an hour later Rick was watching TV and Zack was sound asleep.
Friday He got to sleep in until 7:30 because I didn’t have to go to work. Scott took him to Frazier and I took advantage of a rare moment to read. The other kids were still asleep, the house was quiet and I picked up the book I had started a month ago (given to me by Janet Smith, Zack’s 8th grade Science teacher). I eagerly read “What to do about your Brain Injured Child” by Glenn Doman and finally am forced to put it down after three hours when Logan decides I’ve read enough. The book is fascinating and full of information on how to treat brain injury but I am drawn to it’s concepts by the beliefs of the writer. Glenn Doman founded the Institute for the Achievement of Human Potential,
world-renowned for their work with brain-injured children and their pursuit of perfect programs to make them well. He probably knows more about brain injury in children than anyone alive yet he believes that every mother in the world knows more about her child than he does. He believes in parents, teaches them how to fix their children, because he is sure that parents get better results than any professional. I am reminded about what Dr Kraft told me at Frazier Rehab. It has only been recognized in the last five years or so what makes the difference in recovery of patients of the same age and type of brain injury. Those patients with “family support” recover more completely. A mother’s touch is powerful medicine for the brain injured child. Our instincts have told us that for hundreds of years and now there are reliable studies to back up that fact. His book explains how they came to the realization that you can not treat the symptoms of brain injury but instead must treat the injured brain and the symptoms will spontaneously improve as the brain is healed. When someone with a brain injury loses the ability to walk, it doesn’t matter how many methods are used to train the legs, without treating the brain they will never regain the ability to walk. It is not a problem with the legs but a problem with the brain. I can relate to this with Zack’s visual perception problems. He sees perfectly, it is not a problem with his eyes, but rather a problem with the way his brain perceives what his eyes are seeing. I feel empowered after reading the book and take it with me when I pick Zack up from therapy Friday afternoon. Again I go to talk with Leslie to see how they did working with Zack’s school books. He told me that the reading was very hard but he did pretty good. Leslie showed me what they worked on in Biology. She had him read a paragraph on photosynthesis but again his aphasia was a barrier. It is difficult for him to explain the process of photosynthesis when he can not understand the word flower. He knows what a flower is but associating the word to the object is the struggle of aphasia. She would have to break apart each sentence if there were words he didn’t grasp until he understood what they were. Then he could explain the process. The knowledge is there we just have to discover where it is stored and tap into it. It is a long and tedious process but one in which we will eventually be successful with continued therapy. Zack is very bright and has a great attitude but his aphasia will keep him from being successful in the classroom so that is the focus of his therapy. Leslie then explained that his current insurance benefits will run out at the end of January and he is not expected to be ready to go back to school at that time. I will need to petition for additional insurance benefits in order to keep Zack in therapy. At the end of our conversation I show Leslie the book I am reading and promise to let her read it when I am through. Then I talk with Dr. Perri about Zack’s Neuro Psych exam next week. He said that Zack is pumped up about it and I explain that he knows he can’t return to school until he has this evaluation. Once we get the evaluation we will have a meeting with Dr. Perri to review the results. I told him that I knew Zack had taken an aptitude test at school as a Freshman and I would try to get a copy. It would be helpful to compare it with the Neuro Psych results. I also show Dr Perri the book, tell him it would be good reading for him as well and head to the car. Zack is mildly irritated that I had kept him waiting until I explain that it was important that I have these conversations with his therapist. He says he is very tired and just wants to go to sleep. He asks if his friend Rick is still at our house (he doesn’t want to hurt his feelings but he is going straight to bed, whether Rick is there or not). We listen to music for awhile and then Zack turns down the radio and says, “Mom you want to know what I’ve been thinking for awhile? I need to get a job. All of my friends have money and I need some.” I ask him what kind of job he thinks he could do and he says he doesn’t really care as long as they pay him to do it. Then I ask him when he would go to work. He says he would work from 4:00 to 7:00. I ask him if he is tired and he yawns so I ask him when he would take a nap if he had to work after therapy. He says, “I don’t know Mom, you’re making this too hard”. I point out that there are several of his friends who don’t work and they manage to have money so we would figure out a way for him to earn it at home. He smiles, yawns and says “As long as I get to sleep”. After we get home I have to wake him at 6:00 to get ready to leave. We are going to the Dwinnells (his friend Dan’s house) along with the Raines (his friend Andrew) for a Christmas gathering. Both families supported us through difficult days at University Hospital and continued regular visits when Zack was at Frazier Rehab. Now it was time to come together under more pleasant circumstances and celebrate our blessings. Zack enjoyed the company of his friends (as well as all the other kids) and we discussed Zack’s accident, recovery and prognosis. Steve Dwinnell is working with me on a book so he had specific questions for both Scott and I. He wanted to know who answered the initial phone call from the police and what the drive was like to the hospital. Scott still gets very emotional when he talks about that night. He says he would rather get a tape recorder and sit down alone and re-live them at another time. This strong construction worker, with the quick wit and teasing personality becomes weak with raw emotion when he thinks about Zack’s accident. It was a wonderful evening and the time to leave came way too early. When we arrive home at 10:30 Zack heads to bed and Scott and I sit in the living room talking about his progress. I tell him about all the things I have learned from the book I am reading, especially the important role of parents in the recovery process. He says we have known that from the beginning purely by instinct. When you love your child so much it is hard to fathom how much more God loves us. We continue to seek His healing hand for Zack. His word alone can unscramble the words in Zack’s head. We ask that you pray with us in full confidence of His power so that He may be glorified through Zack’s recovery. Remember 1 John 5:15 “This is the confidence which we have before Him, that if we ask anything according to His will, He hear us.”

Monday December 26, 2005

Monday December 26, 2005 Christmas Eve we went to the 3:00 service at Southeast Christian Church and although we were running late and it was very crowded we all got to sit together on the first floor. Of course the whole family was dressed up and Zack wore his hat (like my Daddy’s). After church we went to Scott’s aunt and uncle’s house, which is a family tradition. The only difference is that my Mom was not feeling well enough to go with us but we will pick her up later. At least she would be able to spend the night and be with us Christmas morning. Scott’s brother Jay was in from Florida and got to see Zack for the first time since University Hospital. He has been following his progress on the website and getting updates from his Mom but it is quite different when you see him in person. Jay hugged him and tears welled up in his eyes. Zack asked him if he knew that he had an accident and Jay explained that he came to see him in the hospital. We opened presents after dinner and Zack was genuinely grateful for each gift. His cousin Garrett had burned him a CD of U2’s greatest hits and Zack had to call him in Chicago to thank him. Scott left early to pick my Mom up and we listened to Zack’s new CD on the ride home. My Mom enjoyed playing the card game “golf” with Zack before he headed for bed. Once all the kids were asleep Scott and I began putting presents around the tree. Then we had to sneak downstairs without waking Zack up and put together the Ping Pong Table we got them. By 1:00 AM everything is done and we head to bed anticipating an early morning.
Tuesday Christmas Day Logan was the first one up and excitedly ran downstairs to see that Santa had come. Scott had the coffee ready by the time all of us gathered in the family room. We settled in a circle and held hands and Zack prayed. He thanked God that we were all able to be together and that he was “no longer wrecked”. He reminded us to be thankful for whatever we got “even if we didn’t like it”. Kyle began to pass out presents and Zack sat on the couch and watched as his little sisters opened presents. He opened a few and then went to his room to get the presents that he had personally picked for each one of us. I opened a pair of earrings that he said were very sexy and he gave Scott a traveling coffee mug with a handwritten note inside. He thanked his Dad for “being there since the beginning” and his “Christian ways” and told him how much he loved him. Zack could not have given his Dad a better present. My Mom cried when I gave her a framed picture of Zack inscribed with Rev 21:5 “He makes all things new”. Zack went back to bed and I took my Mom to church before taking her back home. At 2:00 we headed to Rita & Louie’s (Scotts parents) for Christmas dinner and more gifts. Rita always goes overboard with big bags of presents and it takes hours to open everything. Zack was sitting on the couch with me watching Dylan dig through his bag and he told me, “Next year I’m not going to be a kid ‘cause I just want to sit on the couch and watch everyone else open their presents”. He said he didn’t want anything because he already had a great Christmas. That was before he opened a box that contained 50 $1 bills. Then he carefully opened each box in search for “more cash”. We stayed through dessert and then went to the Jaha’s for Christmas Open House. We were the first family to arrive so I played pool with Zack. As Donna was putting food out Zack asked me if they knew he was in an accident. I explained that Donna was there everyday and when I had to go back to work she would stay with him. I gave Donna a framed picture of Zack, her and I together with the Revelations inscription and a single picture of Zack in a magnet frame for her refrigerator. She put it on the refrigerator and showed it to Zack. He smiled and said, “My Mom told me you were at the hospital a lot…thanks for that”.
Before long there were many friends there and all were amazed to see Zack laughing and playing pool. Driving home I asked Zack if he remembered Christmas from the past and he said no. I prodded him to try to remember but he said he can only remember the feeling it gave him. We talked about what he does remember and I realize that he really only remembers the “feelings” associated with people or events, not anything that actually happened. He told me the girl he dated for a long time (Marissa), that he didn’t really remember dating her but he remembers that it was good. He said he knows he played baseball, that he pitched but he doesn’t remember any details. I asked him if it bothered him that he doesn’t remember those things and he said no, he has the feelings of them. He said he sings in church more now and he knows he is closer to Jesus. I ask him if he feels like God has drawn him closer, he nods yes and says “that’s good”. Then he smiles, turns the radio up and starts singing. We pull in the driveway and he turns the radio down and says we had a really good day today. I agree and he asks if I’m ready for him to whoop me in pool. We head downstairs and he beats me 4 games of Ping Pong and 3 games of pool. Finally he says he thinks I have had enough and tells me goodnight.
Once everyone is in bed I go around turning off Christmas lights and pondering the events of the day. It had made me sad to think that Zack didn’t remember any past Christmas or scoring in a ball game. But then I thought about what he had said. He had the “feelings” of those memories and that is the best part anyway. We can dwell on what we don’t have any more and feel sorry for ourselves or we can focus on what we still have and be thankful. We have Zack showing us how to be happy despite his circumstance. We have my Mom another Christmas morning experiencing the joy of children opening presents. We have the knowledge that our loving Father hears our prayers and wants to give us the desires of our heart. We have a stronger faith, a trust that He is in control and a joy that passes all understanding. Merry Christmas and continue praying for complete recovery in the New Year!

Wednesday December 21, 2005

Wednesday December 21, 2005 Zack was excited that today would be his last day of therapy for awhile. He was going to have a little Christmas break until Thursday the 29th and was looking forward to spending time with his friends. He was hoping for more time off but he has his Neuropsych evaluation on January 4th and 5th so Leslie (primary/speech therapist) thought it would be better to have him in therapy. You can’t really study for this evaluation but it still will benefit him to be prepared through therapy. Since this is a long, tiring and difficult evaluation we were lucky that Dr. Perri got it split up into two days. Dr. Perri talked to Zack about taking better notes after each therapy session (which will help me understand what he does each day). Leslie asked me to get several of his books from school. Since they work on reading comprehension daily she thought they should start using his own school books so she asked for science, history and literature. She said they didn’t need to work on with math and since it was not language based he shouldn’t have any trouble with it. She suggested that they start out with Freshman level books and work their way up. I told her it might be hard to get his books right now since they were out for Christmas break but I would see what I could do. I called Mr. Greener from Christian Academy and fortunately he had a meeting at school on Thursday and would gather the books that we needed. When Zack returns after break he will carry a back pack with school books to therapy. It will be interesting when they start sending homework with him because he has not dealt with that in a long time. He recognizes that not having homework is a definite advantage of the “school” he goes to now. When we arrived home there was a reporter from the Courier Journal waiting for us. We had spoken to Bill Pike before and he was preparing an article to run on Thanksgiving. After he wrote the article the senior editors at the paper embraced the idea and wanted him to do a more in depth story. He was coming back to interview Zack some more and Scott. We took him downstairs and showed him the wall full of pictures of Zack’s friends. We also showed him the memorabilia from the hospital including all the golf balls with messages from his friends, the helmet and signed picture from Pat Day and the baseball hit out of Slugger field that Scott chased down and brought to Zack at Frazier Rehab one day. Bill was impressed with the nice little “bachelor pad” we had made for Zack and his friends to come hang out. He started by asking Zack how things are different for him now and Zack told him about the changes in his social life (not being able to ride around with his friends, missing school). It was harder for Zack to explain the differences in his thinking (other than it is hard to read). Then he asked Scott how this had affected him. It didn’t take long for Scott to become emotional telling him how he felt the first time we saw Zack in the emergency room after the accident. Scott was very clear that we believe prayer and faith in God’s healing hand is what brought all of us through this tragedy. He told him two stories that not many people have heard. The day Matt (the driver) was coming to see Zack at the hospital and Scott had not forgiven him. He said he couldn’t be there and went to Pat’s Steak House. He explained how horrible he felt driving there with such mixed emotions, begging God to save Zack’s life and then hating Matt at the same time. He sat down at Pats in a turmoil of emotions, looked at a young guy working there and said, “My son is lying in a coma in the hospital, please give me 4 or 5 words of encouragement”. The guy just stared at him and Scott apologized saying that it wasn’t fair to lay that on him. The guy told him to wait just a minute and came back from the kitchen with a man in an apron. It turned out to be the owner of Pat’s Steak House and ironically his son had been hit by a car, suffered a traumatic brain injury and had his skull removed just like Zack. Scott said in the middle of the dinner hour on a crowded Saturday night they talked for 20 minutes. He said there seemed to be a glow around him and although he remembered very little of what he said it was all about love and forgiveness. When he walked out the door he had completely forgiven Matt and had that peace that passes all understanding. But that’s not all. The young man who Scott first asked for encouragement happened to be the son who had the accident. God was with Scott that night, hearing his prayers and knowing the confusion he felt. Pleading for mercy yet not giving forgiveness. God answered his prayers in a thunderous way. By this time in his story Scott is crying and Bill is furiously taking notes. Scott tells him there is one more story. In the first days at the hospital Scott would take walks to get away from the crowds of concerned visitors. He had found a spot outside by a tree where he would bury his face in his hands and weep. Returning from one of these breaks one day he could hardly pick his feet up to walk. He was standing in the lobby waiting for the elevator when he turned to the women at the information booth at University and said, “My son is in critical condition upstairs”. He looked back at the elevator and then turned to her and said, “I don’t know why I just told you that”. Linda smiled and responded, “Because now you have a direct line to God. I’m a prayer warrior”. Right then she prayed with Scott, hugged him, cried with him and rescued him. God put her in just the right place to speak to Scott at just the right moment. When he was at one of his weakest moments Linda was there to show him hope. He called her his angel and every day we would see her and many times she would say, “He’s doing better today, isn’t he?” Her church prayed for Zack and she came to see him at Frazier Rehab. Zack got to meet her when we came back to University to have his bone flap replaced and she calls him her special friend. By this time Scott tells the reporter that he is through except to say that we know the hand of God has been with Zack since that first day. Bill asked him one more question that he says seems rather silly now but wants to know how this has changed him. Scott told him that this has changed so many people but the biggest change in him is that his faith is stronger than ever. Zack and I answer a few more questions and then Zack says he is very tired and needs to take a nap. I walk Bill to the door and realize we have been talking for 1 ½ hours. Scott had showered and needed to meet with his accountant. He stopped in at Scotty’s Ribs and was talking with Scotty when a man looked at him and said, “I know you. We were at University when your son was there”. He reminded Scott of a conversation they had. Their son had also been in an accident and was in surgery. They were in the surgery waiting room and so were we. They were distraught and crying and Scott saw them. He approached them to comfort them and give them hope. They asked him, “Why are you worried about us because you have terrible things going on yourself”. Scott said that was the first time that he felt God pushing him to reach out to others in pain and show them the hope that is possible with God. This same man sat eating at Scotty’s and told Scott how much he helped them that day. Now their son is back wrestling at Trinity and they follow Zack’s progress on the website. By the time he left there Scott’s mind was not much on the business he needed to review with Teri. Just when our lives seem to be adjusting to our new normal people cross our paths to remind us of the many times He rescued us. When we were weakest He carried us. When we needed hope He sent us Linda. When we needed forgiveness He sent us Pat. When we needed grace he sent us Jesus. His divine love and protection has never left us. When we were silent with sorrow He whispered…mercy. When we sobbed in despair He thundered…Here I AM! Now we pray knowing that He hears us and wait expectantly for His blessings. Be with us in prayer for complete recovery for Gods Glory.

Sunday December 18, 2005

Sunday December 18, 2005 I guess you’ve noticed by now that I am no longer posting every day. I am trying to get adjusted to our new normal, we are busy with Christmas festivities and I don’t always have something to say so I plan to post several days at one
time. Friday Zack said goodbye to Scott (his OT therapist student). He and Scott had
really bonded but he took it well. He told me he was going to be leaving soon anyway to go back to Christian Academy. Kara, Trey and Dani stopped by Friday when Zack got home from Frazier. We traded pictures from the concert and our trip to Nashville. Before long Nick, Matt and several others dropped by for a short visit. I am pleased that his friends still come by to see him and feel comfortable at our house. By 7:00 Zack and I picked up Kaitlyn and Alexa and they went to the movies. They had planned to get something to eat afterwards and wanted to go to BW3’s. I was concerned about the second hand smoke (which can cause seizures after a brain injury) so I told Kaitlyn she needed to check things out before they decided to stay. Fortunately they ate and were ready to leave before their scheduled pick up time. Zack told me he had a really good time but was ready for bed.
Saturday Zack woke up excited about the UofL vs UofK game. Trey was having several people over to watch the game and Zack was anxious to see his friends even though many
of them would be cheering against his team, UofL. He knew there would be several girls there so he got dressed up for the occasion (in a suit jacket). He called me several times during the game and told me how disappointed he was in the way they were playing. He came home after the game and took a short nap before we headed to my family’s Christmas party. Zack was looking forward to it because the clubhouse where we were going had a golf simulator room and he wanted to try it out. Scott was not feeling well and had to stay home so Zack was planning on figuring it out by himself. My sister Karen was in from Virginia and hadn’t seen Zack since September. Several of my nieces and nephews hadn’t seen him in at least that long so everyone was amazed at how well he was doing. Before long the guys were playing golf and Zack was having a great time with his cousins. Periodically he would find me throughout the evening and tell me what
was going on. He told me he missed his Dad and wished he could have been there. He had an interesting, blunt conversation (and pretty funny although she might not have thought so) with his seventeen year old cousin who just had a baby. Whatever he is thinking is likely to be voiced. He sat with my Mom (Nana, who is almost 88 and not in good health) and talked with her about Christmas. We took lots of pictures and Zack told me later that this could be the last Christmas Nana is with us. Before the night was over he was in the car with several of his cousins listening to music. He came to me at 9:00 and said he was tired and ready to leave. I told him to give me a little more time and he looked at the clock and reminded me that he needed to get to bed because he had church tomorrow. I packed up a plate of desserts for Scott and headed home.
Sunday morning I fixed pancakes and since Scott was feeling better he got Zack to his high school worship. Sitting in church Sunday morning listening to Christmas music I was overcome with emotion. I needed Kleenex so I got up to go to the ladies room. Walking up the aisle I pass Bob Russle (senior minister) and he stops me. He tells me how happy he is to hear Zack is doing so well and we sure have a lot to be thankful for this Christmas. I agree and hurry out the door. In the bathroom overcome with emotion I break down in tears. We are blessed beyond belief this Christmas. Not only do we have Zack with us but he is an amazing, special person. Not just alive but full of life. He is happy, funny, mysteriously innocent and yet definitely a teenager. I return to my seat unable to sing. I listen to the sermon and my mind wanders to events over the past five months. As soon as the service is over I jump from my seat, hurry to the door anxious to find Zack waiting for us in the atrium. And there he is, smiling as he comes to put his arm around me. He asks to ride with his Dad so they can get something to eat. Later as I am with the girls at a birthday party Zack calls me to say he has a “proposition for the evening”. He doesn’t want to go to church which surprises me. He said, “You know I love church and it was good this morning but I just want to go to eat and be with my family”. I tell him that sounds wonderful and it would only be Mom, Dad, Dylan and him since the girls would still be at their party. We meet at BW3’s and decide it’s too smoky so we move to Wicks Pizza. We enjoy a quiet dinner just the four of us and on the way home we listen to his Grits CD. He stops the music at one point and tells me I really need to talk to his school about him getting his drivers license. When we get home he gets on the computer and is looking up information on Ky. Drivers license written test.
I don’t think he is ready to take the test but it is not up to me anyway. I promise him that I will call Frazier in the morning and talk to Suzanne (O.T. therapist). Before long he has given up trying to get the information off the computer and is downstairs playing pool with Dylan. He comes up to tell me good night and is asleep at 10:00.
Looking over the last three days and understanding what problems we could be facing (or for that matter the issues every parent of teenagers deal with on a daily basis) you can see how tremendously blessed we are. God has rescued us from tragedy and placed us just this side of heaven. We recognize that there will be issues to deal with in the future but God has not put us in this situation alone. He is always present and we feel him in Zack’s smile. May all of you have a blessed Christmas and share in our special joy this year. Please continue praying for complete recovery.

Thursday December 15, 2005

Thursday December 15, 2005 Zack was up eating breakfast at 7:15 and in a good mood. On the way to Frazier East we were listening to the radio and talking about different songs. We hit stop-n-go traffic on Highway 42 and he started making up dancing in his seat. Before long I had joined in and the people in cars around us must have thought we were nuts. We were having a great time when Zack turned to me and said, “Mom I don’t want to go to school. I just want to ride around with you all day listening to music”. I told him I had to go to work and he said I wouldn’t get in trouble. He was trying so hard that I started to feel guilty about working but he smiled and said it was o.k. When I dropped him off he told me to have a great day, not to run over any chocolate moose and I love you. I was in a meeting a work when my cell phone rang at about 11:00. It was Zack asking “Wats up?” I was surprised and asked him what he was doing and he explained that he was waiting for someone else to get finished before it was his turn. Then he said he just called to tell me he loved me. I returned to my boss’s office with tears in my eyes feeling so blessed to have the son God has given us. Scott was picking him up from therapy today and I was anxious to get home to see him but he was already taking his nap. He woke up as I was cooking dinner and came in to say hello. He and Scott headed downstairs to play pool until dinner. I couldn’t help but think how lucky we were. I remembered driving home from work in silence looking at the cloud filled sky and asking God why he blessed us so much. This could have turned out so differently yet we truly live the scripture in Romans 8:28 “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” God truly can take any situation and (although you may not see it at the time) turn it into something good. It helps to look for the good, to wait expectantly for His timing. Please continue praying expectantly for Zack’s complete recovery.
Jeremiah 17:7 “Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him”.

Wednesday December 14, 2005

Wednesday December 14, 2005 Zack got up at his usual time, ate breakfast, showered and dressed before I was ready to leave. We got out his notebook and read some of the things his friends had wrote to him when he was in the hospital. It touched me deeply how sincerely they professed their belief that he would get better. Zack laughed at how many people (girls and guys) had said they loved him but he appreciated what they wrote. As we drive to Frazier East we talk about the basketball game last night. I took him, with Kyle and Logan, to Ballard High School to see Christian Academy varsity team play. We went because Brooke was playing and Zack wanted to see how good the girl’s team was. He was amazed and kept telling me how awesome Brooke was. He also would point out every girl in the gym that he thought was cute. He started out by sitting with me but before half time he was in the midst of the rest of the Christian Academy students. We left at halftime of the varsity boy’s game and walking out to the car Zack told me he had a really bad headache. On the way home Scott called to say that Tiffany and Britney were at the house waiting for Zack. Since we hadn’t had any dinner yet we decided to meet them at BW3’s but I had barely hung up when Zack told me his head hurt really bad so he just wanted to go home. I called Tiffany back and told her we had to pass and went through Wendy’s drive thru for dinner. Zack ate his food, took some Tylenol and went straight to bed. I was concerned and checked on him to be sure he was all right. By the time I went to bed my imagination was running rampant and I was sure Zack had some kind of blood clot in his brain. I went to bed praying and crying to please let him wake up in the morning. Of course he was fine and woke up smiling with no headache. He frequently rubs on his head because he says it itches which is probably due to his scalp healing. Every time he gets a headache I get a little paranoid. Today he went on an outing to Louisville Science Center. He had a list of questions to answer and certain exhibits to find. I found it interesting that he listed as his favorite exhibits “drunken goggles” (where you put on goggles that inhibit your sight and have to take a field sobriety test) and “out of control” (where you wear the goggle and simulate driving a car drunk). Zack commented that they wrecked a lot when they drove the car with the goggles on. He said his favorite thing to do there was “virtual reality” where he got to play volleyball and soccer (two sports he won’t get to play for at least 2 years). They went to McDonalds to eat and when I picked him up at 3:00 he was very tired and went straight to bed when he got home. Laura (one of the girls in the accident) came to see him tonight. They watched a movie and played pool and before she left they were reading his notebook. I talked to him about getting him some time off of therapy during Christmas break so he could spend time with his friends. Leslie (speech therapist) and Suzanne (occupation therapist) will both be off at separate times so his therapy will be on a different schedule and not as intense. He really thinks it’s unfair that his friends get out of school and he doesn’t so Leslie agreed that it wouldn’t hurt him to have a little break. She told me that Zack commented that he wasn’t going to like the snow this year because that just meant he had to stay inside and watch movies. At least he understands that for him the snow is not safe. Now we have to plan some things for him to do with his friends or he told me he planned to sleep a lot. I called several of his friends and told them that Zack would like to get together over break but he could not go sleigh riding, skiing or ice skating. The movies, bowling, mall or hanging out at some ones house were all options but I wanted to get some plans in place in advance. If you have teenagers you can appreciate how hard that is to do because they don’t like to make plans. Even going to the movies is different, they don’t decide what they are going to see until they get there and don’t seem to mind if they have missed part of the movie. We are actually in a position where most parents of teenagers would like to experience…in control of their social life. It is much more critical for us with Zack for obvious reasons but the unique thing is that his friends understand what we have gone through these last five months. They are willing to cooperate with rules that might seem a little smothering to some but they have been with us through all his recovery and appreciate are fear. Zack has such good friends and it doesn’t hurt that I have documented his experience in pictures as a reminder. Now I can give them the notebook and let them read about how they were feeling only a short time ago and it puts everything back in perspective. We want Zack to be happy, enjoy his friends but he has to be safe. When he goes to bed tonight he is tired but happy, no headache. He comes to hug me and tells me he loves me. He hugs Kyle who is eager for his attention. We close another day looking to a bright tomorrow. Not knowing what is in store a month from now but accepting that it is in God’s hands. He will make everything right in His time. Time is what we need most and time is in His hands. Pray for contentment for Zack during Christmas break to do things with his friends that are safe. Pray that his friends never forget the lesson that Zack lives each day. Pray for continued healing for God’s glory.

Monday December 12, 2005

Monday December 12, 2005 Zack was up at 7:00, ate breakfast and had his shower. His Dad was taking him to therapy today so I fixed his lunch and made sure he took his meds.
On my way to work he called me and asked, “Who is that person that has to say its ok for me to get my drivers license?” I reminded him that Suzanne, his Occupational therapist would tell him when he was ready and he told me he was going to ask her today. When we hung up I decided to call Leslie, his speech and primary therapist, to let her know that Zack was going to ask about driving again. She agreed with me that he was not ready and wouldn’t pass the written test. She explained that he is doing very well but is still having a difficult time with language (aphasia). He especially has problems with food which is why they frequently have exercises where they categorize food items. I also told her to have the therapist talk to him about sleigh riding (something she hadn’t considered since they don’t get a lot of kids there and adults typically don’t ask to go sleigh riding). She was going to impress upon him how dangerous sleigh riding could be for him and she would ask the other therapist their opinions on ice skating. She told me that Zack had been tired all last week, he had fun in Nashville but it did him in. We have to recoup when we go out of town for the weekend so if makes sense that Zack would take a little longer to get back into the swing of things. Leslie also told me that today was Megan’s last day and Friday would be Scott’s last day. Zack has become very attached to both Megan (speech therapy student) and Scott (occupational therapy student) so he would be sad to see them leave. He referred to both of them as his friends. He has already started working with Jose (new occupational therapist student) but hasn’t really bonded with him yet. Hopefully the transition will be smooth. When I picked Zack up I was a little late which he pointed out, but with a smile on his face. Then he showed me his shoes. He was wearing bedroom slippers; with sweat pants and a dress shirt (I always knew Scott didn’t know how to dress the kids). He said that Megan had to come back tomorrow so he was going to dress nice for her and wear his hat (the one I bought him for the dance). He was very tired and looked forward to going home to bed. He asked if we had anything planned for tonight because he might go to dinner with Andrew. He said Andrew had wanted to see him last night but only got to stop over for a little bit since we were going to church. That got us talking about church and how much he liked the music there. He said the music was good in high school worship on Sunday morning (“I held my hand up a whole bunch”) but he liked the Vine better. He reminded me that I needed to talk to his friends about the concert at the Fairgrounds in February (someone posted a message with details about it). He really wanted to go since Toby Mac was going to be there (now he believes that white guys can rap) so I needed to get tickets. I am hoping the Southeast Christian will plan a trip for the youth group and maybe take a bunch of us in a bus. We arrive home and Zack heads to bed for his nap. When he wakes up he comes to talk to me again about going to dinner with Andrew. I hadn’t really planned anything for dinner (and wasn’t sure what there was to cook) so I agreed but I had to drop him off. He takes a shower and gets dressed before calling Andrew. I was busy helping Dylan with a Spanish project when Zack said it was time to leave and Andrew was on the phone. They decided to go to Applebee’s, right down the street, so I gave in and let him ride with Andrew. It is so hard to let go after all we have been through but Zack wants so much to just be a normal teenager again. We have had many discussions with him about how he is not like other teenagers (no contact sports, no 2nd hand smoke) so he clings to the areas that make him feel normal, like riding with Andrew. Scott and I talk about what kind of activity we can get him interested in that he can do at home. He loves to play pool and cards and video games but we were hoping to find something relaxing that would also help with cognitive issues. I will have to get Leslie to brainstorm for some “homework” type activities. Zack is asking about his Christmas break since he knows all of his friends will be out of school for a while. I don’t quite know what to tell him since technically he doesn’t get a Christmas break other than a few days. It would not be good for him to be without therapy for an extended period of time right now. We will have to plan for some extra time with his friends but still keep him in therapy as much as possible. We don’t want him to become depressed because his friends are out of school and he still has to go. We have to take one day at a time and pray for God to lead us to the right choices. Each decision at times can seem so monumental in its consequences. I am thankful that I am not in control. God has a time for everything and He works in us what needs to be done to prepare us for what is ahead. Having a sense of God’s timing brings peace to wait on the Lord for it. Please pray that we will have peace with each decision. Pray for continued healing and complete recovery for God’s glory.

Saturday December 10, 2005

Saturday December 10, 2005 Zack got to sleep in cause it was Saturday and he had the big dance tonight. Kyle had a basketball game at 10:00 am and while I was there I got a message on my cell phone from Zack. He called to say I needed to hurry and come home to help him with “the appropriations for my display tonight”. I giggled at the little professor in him and knew that he was telling me that he needed me to help him find his suit for the dance tonight (this is the sometimes amusing part of aphasia). I called Zack and told him to try on his suit and to also look in our closet to see if he wanted to wear any of his Dad’s suits. He asked me “what’s a suit again” and I told him not to worry about it, that I would help him when I got home (this is the reality of aphasia). We stopped by the florist to pick up Tiffany’s flowers on the way home and when I arrived Zack was wearing one of his Dad’s jackets. I helped him search for the pants but apparently they were at the drycleaners. I called Scott and asked about the clothes he took to the cleaners and he was silent for a moment before telling me they were still in the backseat of his truck. We go to Zack’s closet and he tries on the suit I bought him last year. It was ridiculously small with the sleeves coming about four inches from his wrist (and I bought it intentionally large but he has grown a lot). I was trying to convince him that his black dress pants went fine with his Dad’s black suit coat when Scott called and told me to just buy him a new suit (or he would when he got home from work…which meant a lot more money than I would spend). We dropped Dylan off at Eastern High School for his basketball game and then headed to the store to look for a suit. Fortunately there are a lot of sales going on at Christmas so I was able to buy a suit and shirt at a reasonable price and then I spotted a hat. It was a hat just like my Daddy use to wear and I knew it would look great on Zack. He tried it on and asked Andrew (who just happened to stop in the store) if he thought he should wear it to the dance. We all agreed that Zack looked good in it so I bought the hat too. We got to Eastern in plenty of time to watch Dylan’s game and Zack was telling Rita about the suit and hat I bought him. Rita told me that she didn’t really know Zack right before the accident because he was always busy with his friends and when he was around his grandparents he never had much to say. Now he initiated conversations with them, laughed at Grandpa’s silly jokes and genuinely enjoyed talking to them. Rita looked at me teary eyed and said she wasn’t sorry he had his accident because now he was perfect. By halftime Zack was getting tired and asked for my car keys so he could try to take a nap. After about ten minutes I sent his cousin Haley to go check on him and she came back saying he was asleep in the backseat but had the car running so the heat would be on. Zack’s friend Brook had come to the game at Dylan’s request and she volunteered to go out and turn the car off. She returned with a smiling (but still sleepy) Zack. The game was running long and Zack was worried about having enough time to get ready for the dance. Since I had to hem the pants on his new suit we made arrangements for someone to bring Dylan home after the game and headed for home. Zack jumped in the shower and I started to iron his new shirt. As I fitted his pants on him and tried to cut the extra material off I realized that those two cups of coffee at the game to warm me up had done nothing to steady my hand. Fortunately Scott got home from work and I told him he was going to have to hem Zack’s pants while I finished ironing the shirt and got myself ready. When I came downstairs I found Scott on the couch with the sewing kit and the scotch tape. He had sewed one leg and was now trying to tape the other hem. Trying not to be critical I told him that tape was never going to hold his hem in place once he started dancing and we would be better off using a stapler. Finally Zack in his new hat and suit with one leg stapled headed out the door to Tiffany’s house. We arrived twenty minutes late and quickly followed her to a friend’s house where we were taking pictures. We were the last to arrive and everyone introduced themselves to Zack (it was obvious that they all were aware of his “special circumstances”). We took pictures (Tiffany looked wonderful in her red dress) and I met several parents who graciously informed me that they had kept up with Zack on the website. The kids headed to the restaurant for dinner and I walked out with Tiffany’s Mom. As we made our way down the sidewalk she told me that Tiffany had been worried about the icy sidewalk in front of her house, saying that Zack could not slip and fall. It is just like Tiffany to be more concerned about Zack than herself, trying to walk on ice in high heals. As I made my way to a restaurant to meet Scott for dinner I had to wipe tears away thinking about Zack at the dance. He had been to several dances before his accident but this emotionally felt like sending him off for the first time. I desperately wanted to be there to watch him laughing and dancing. Scott and I enjoyed our meal together without any kids although we spent a lot of the night talking about them. When we were through I told Scott I had to go by the dance to try and see Zack but he said there was no way he was letting Zack catch him there. I arrived at Assumption at about 10:00 PM and talked my way in the front door (fortunately the nice women I talked to knew about Zack and was sympathetic to my request). I knew I would find him on the dance floor so I headed in that direction. I ran into Michelle Jaha (my close friend Donna’s daughter) and her friends as I entered the gym. I told them I had to see Zack dancing and they helped to hide me amongst the teenagers. I spotted him on the dance floor with his hat on having a ball. Michelle volunteered to get some pictures for me so Zack posed not knowing that she had his Mom’s camera. I was getting ready to leave when the DJ announced a dedication going out to Zack Hornback and then started to play Rascal Flats “I thank God this broken road led me straight to you”. Well that did me in and the tears flowed as I watched Zack slow dance with Tiffany. I don’t know who requested the song or what it meant to them (I suspect Tiffany) but to me the broken road was Zack’s accident and it led him back to God. I headed to my car and felt lucky to have been there to witness another event in his life (without getting caught). Scott called and asked me to stop by his Mom’s to pick the girls up because he knew Rita would want to know about the dance. Tiffany called to say they were heading back to our house so I didn’t stay long at Rita’s, hoping for an opportunity to talk to them before Tiffany left and Zack went to bed. Driving home we were stopped by a terrible accident on the Gene Snyder. Fire Engines, police and ambulances had the highway blocked and I commented to Kyle in the back seat that it was really bad. We got off on Westport Road, made our way around the accident and were listening to some sad country song when I heard Kyle sniffling. I assumed she was touched by the song but when she continued to sniffle after it was over I asked her if she had a cold. She said no so I asked her what was wrong and then she really started crying. She told me she hates to see accidents and that one was really bad, someone might have died and it could have been Zack. I tried my best to comfort her by saying how blessed we were that Zack was with us but she just needed to cry. Unfortunately when we finally got home, Tiffany was gone and Zack was in bed. I couldn’t help it so I went to his room to just give him a kiss and ask him if he had a good time. He was still awake but told me how tired he was. He said he had a great time dancing with Tiffany but now he just wanted to go to sleep. I did get a smile out of him when I told him that I was sure he was the best looking guy at the dance, especially in his hat. I’m hoping my Mom will be able to dig a picture up of my Dad with his hat on (he died in 1980) so I can show it to Zack. I had told him earlier in the week that he had gotten his dancing abilities from my Dad and now I want to show him how much they look alike in their hats. He had a great night which made a perfect day for me. I sat down with Scott and told him what I saw at the dance and he filled me in on when Tiffany brought him home. It was after midnight when Scott went to bed but I just couldn’t go to sleep yet. I wanted to dwell on the evening just a little longer, being thankful that Zack is alive, happy, laughing and dancing…and perfect in God’s eyes. We all fall short of the glory of God but I see God’s glory shining anew in Zack’s life. We live Psalm 4:7 “You have put gladness in my heart”. And I read “You have delivered my soul from death. Have you not kept my feet from falling, that I may walk before God in the light of the living?” Psalm 56:13 This is Zack; rescued from death and walking before God, as a testimony of His mercy and power, in the light of the living. We pray that he will have many opportunities to share his story with others. That his faith will grow strong as God gently restores him. The aphasia will slip away and be replaced with words of wisdom spoken from God’s compassion. How we love him, but not nearly as much as God has shown him His love. Please continue to pray for complete recovery so that one day Zack may speak of God’s Glory!

Thursday December 8, 2005

Thursday December 8, 2005 Zack was up at his usual time, ate, showered, dressed and was ready to go before I was. He took my keys and went to the car so he could listen to some music. We were nearly to the freeway when I realized that Zack had not taken his medication, we both forgot. We drove back to the house and he took his pills and then we headed to Frazier East. On the way we talked about Laura, the girl who was in the accident with him and who met him at church last night. She had called him earlier in the week and he invited her to the Junior Christmas party at Southeast Christian. He was asking me about her because he didn’t remember her at all. We looked her picture up in his photo album (she had come to visit him once at Frazier Rehab) and talked about the accident. She met him at Southeast and gave him a letter saying how hard it was for her to see his condition in the hospital but how amazed she was at his recovery. In therapy they worked more on cognitive issues (categorizing, word retrieval, organization) and vision (dealing with his perception problems). It started snowing and Scott was worried about getting him to the dentist to get fitted for a new retainer (never found the last one). We called and got his appointment moved up an hour so that they could make it home before the streets got bad. When I got home we ate dinner and then Zack went downstairs to play pool with Dylan and Kyle. A few times he came upstairs to tell me he was looking forward to dancing at the prom with Tiffany on Saturday. He reminded me that we had to get his clothes ready. He appears to be very much a normal teenage boy, in love with music, interested in girls, except that there are many words he searches for in order to express himself. It embarrasses Scott that when he can’t think of the word for something Zack substitutes “crap”. “Where’s the crap that I put on my lips?” (Chap Stick) “I need that thing to take the crap off of my face” (razor). It’s not the nicest word but it could be worse (I’ve grown use to it I guess because it doesn’t bother me). When I mention that he should find another word to use besides “crap” he always says O.K. but then “crap” just naturally comes out. He started using it more often when we stopped letting him get by with sign language to express what he wanted. It is much the same when he calls people “G” because he can’t remember their name. When he meets someone that he truly doesn’t know (but has probably met before) he always shakes their hand and calls them “Buddy”. It’s safe, he doesn’t have to try to guess their name and people think he really remembers them. He really is pretty good at expressing himself and socializing without too much attention on his deficits. And he is basically happy, genuinely happy, maybe tired but content, wanting to go back to school with his friends but still cooperative in therapy. As the snow falls tonight I dread the morning. Not that I am scared to drive in the snow but that all kids thoughts turn to sleigh riding when they see it snowing. I know sooner or later Zack is going to want to go and that is definitely something that we can’t let happen. I visualize him soaring down a hill with a big smile on his face and then hitting head on into a tree. We can not risk another head injury, not even a little one. Of course snow skiing is off limits (which Zack really enjoyed last winter) but sledding seems so harmless. Dylan and Kyle will ask to go and I know Zack’s friends will be planning a trip to the hills at the park. As God blankets the hills with beautiful white flakes I will be praying for the sun to shine brightly and melt them before the kids can get their boots on. I will have to ask Zack’s therapist to discuss the risks of another head injury and the danger of sledding. I need someone else of authority to help get the point across. I wonder about ice skating? Please pray that Zack will understand why he can’t go sledding and that it will not run his whole winter. Pray that we will be firm in our decision. Please continue to pray for complete recovery as a testimony of the mercy and power of God.

Tuesday December 6, 2005

Tuesday December 6, 2005 Zack got to sleep a little later this morning, fixed his own breakfast and was coming upstairs for a shower when I first saw him. Although he had just woken up (and had gone to bed at 9:30) he looked at me and said he was so tired. When it was time to leave he told me that I needed to take him back to the dentist to get his retainer fixed since it was hurting his gums. I asked him to let me see it and then handed it back to him and watched him put it in his pocket. Scott was going to call Dr Zanger and try to get him into the office today so Zack was taking his retainer with him to rehab. On the way to Frazier East we listened to some country music (left over habit from our trip to Nashville) and talked about this weekend. He is looking forward to going to the Assumptions Junior prom with Tiffany and said he was going to tear the dance floor up. In therapy he had three cognition sessions with Megan at different times today. He had to take words from a list and put them into categories to work on his word finding and recognition. He searches through lists of foods and has to categorize them into fruits, vegetables, meats and deserts. He still suffers with aphasia (language disorder caused by his brain injury) which is a major factor to his successful return to school. He can’t very well write a term paper on Christopher Columbus is he can’t remember the word for “ship”. These cognition exercises help him to file those words back into his memory but it takes time. He has not reached the six month point which is a critical landmark in brain injury recovery. His other obstacle is the visual perception problems which are being addressed with vision therapy. In vision therapy he does tracking exercises in which he scans lines from left to write looking for consecutive letters of the alphabet. He is timed and wears an eye patch to cover one eye each time. I am very anxious to see if vision therapy will increase his reading skills, both in speed and comprehension. Scott picks Zack up to take him to the dentist at 3:30. When they arrive Zack can not find his retainer. He searches his pockets, his lunch box and they call Frazier to see if anyone has found it. No luck. They go home without a retainer. Tomorrow Zack will search the rooms at Frazier and hopefully it will turn up. I had picked my Mom up after work and brought her to our house. We all ate dinner and left for Logan’s Christmas program at Christian Academy. Logan was an angel (like most of the girls in the program) and they sang Christmas carols. Before his accident Zack would have complained about having to go to her program and probably come up with some huge homework project to keep him from going. Tonight he got ready and wanted to go early with me to get Logan there on time. He sat in the audience and waved at her and even sang along on the songs he knew. After the program we came home and Zack played pool with Kyle. He came to tell me goodnight at 9:00 and headed to bed. He didn’t seem to miss his friends tonight and was content to be with his family. He is still very cooperative and my Mom commented that he seems happier. How blessed we are that such a tragic experience has turned out this way. We truly have a merciful, wonderful God and we are learning to trust Him. I want to respond to a posted message from a concerned parent about their teenager. I count myself fortunate that I get to spend a lot of time with Zack’s friends and am drawn into their world. I hear about what some kids are doing and cringe that their memory of Zack’s accident can seem so vague. It is that underdeveloped frontal lobe. They can’t help it. They just don’t have the physiological development to make good decisions all the time. That’s why God gave them parents: to set boundaries, curfews, guidelines and rules. Teenagers have to realize that it is God’s design; He put parents in place as authority over them to help them make wise decisions until they are physiologically developed to make those decisions on their own. That would be at about 23 years old, when the frontal lobe, which is responsible for reasoning and logic, is fully developed (go to the archives of August 5th to learn more). So at about the time most kids have graduated from college and are starting a career or maybe a family of their own, God has designed them to be able to make reasonable decisions on their own. Isn’t it ironic that at about that time children no longer think their parents are idiots and actually seek their opinion. Maybe that is part of the frontal lobe development…that we finally realize that the wisdom of our parents is worth more than the heartache cause by some of the dumb decisions we make on our own. I want to remind teenagers that authority given by God to their parents is a loving gift, a blessing that they need to learn to embrace. I would like to advise parents as well. Understand that your teenager can not always make good decisions and it is your job to insure that they are not put in situations that require them to make decisions that they aren’t ready for. Chances are 50% of the time they will not make the right decision. You can help them by knowing who their friends are, where they are going “specifically” when they walk out the door, call and check up on them. It is not a matter of trust; it is parental love and understanding the dangerous opportunities our children face. Situations that many times they would rather not have to face. One more piece of advice for parents. Once your children have gone to bed for the night there is no reason for them to have their cell phone (house phone or computer for that matter). Communication with the outside world should cease once you expect them to be in bed…and stay there. I speak from hard learned experience. I would have never thought Zack would sneak out of the house in the middle of the night and it wouldn’t have been as easy (or tempting) if communication with his accomplices wasn’t available. Don’t think your alarm system will stop them either. I have talked to some of your kids that know exactly how to get around the alarm system (remember it’s designed to keep people out, not in). As moody, mouthy, self-centered and difficult as they can be, teenagers need their parents. They are in a difficult time in their life, desiring freedom yet not quite being capable of handling it. They have pressures at school, pressures at home and pressure from their friends. And to top it off their hormones are in full swing. They need their parents to be understanding, respectful and love them enough to limit the amount of opportunities they have to make foolish decisions. Pray that your children will be caught in their disobedience so bad behavior can be corrected before it becomes a habit. God designed us with free will, freedom to choose between right and wrong. He knew that left to our own devices we would generally chose to rebel. He gave us a way out. He set boundaries and guidelines for His children and he wrote them down in the Bible. And He tells us that if we love Him we will understand that these Words of wisdom set us free. We have the freedom to choose to do it His way and He will give us more than we could hope or imagine as our reward. I speak to that from experience too. Look at what he has done for Zack. We prayed that he would walk and God had him dancing. We prayed that he would talk and God had him singing. We prayed (apprehensively) that he would get to go to Dallas to recover and God brings him home where his family and friends can nurture him to a more complete recovery. He is farther along at five months than they expected him to be in a year. There is only one answer for that…a loving, powerful God hearing prayers and delighting in exceeding our expectations. Pray for all parents and teenagers that they will embrace the role God has designed for them. Pray for Zack's continued complete recovery for His glory.
Ephesians 5:15 "Be very careful then how you live, not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity for the days are evil. Therefore, do not be foolish but understand what the Lord's will is".

Sunday December 4, 2005

Sunday December 4, 2005 What a great weekend we had. Zack, six of his friends and I left for Nashville about 2:00 on Friday. We arrived at my friends, Kelly and Barry Paul’s house in time to change and head to Lipscomb University for the Winter Wonderslam concert featuring Toby Mac, Grits, Barlow Girls and Mathew West. All are Christian rap or rock artist. Zack was very excited because Kim, a friend and neighbor of Kelly’s, had gotten us Meet and Greet passes. Before the concert began Zack, Andrew, Try and I went to meet Toby Mac, Barlow Girls and Mathew West. We got autographs and pictures and then were interviewed by the Today Show (which will air sometime in mid Dec). Once the concert began Zack and his friends went to the floor in front of the stage and I could see Zack’s head boppin to the music. He was really looking forward to Grit (Christian rap) and by the time they were on stage I was down on the floor too. It was a great concert and Toby Mac was the main attraction and last performer. He was ½ way through his performance when Zack looked at me and said, “This is all for him”. He had just realized that Toby Mac was the featured artist and everyone else was just leading up to him. He was finally convinced that “white guys” can rap and was blown away by the show. I thought he would be worn out because he hadn’t had a nap but at the end of the concert he was still jamming (several of his friends were sitting down). Once back at Kelly’s house they stayed up until after 2:00 AM when we finally made them turn off the TV and go to sleep. Saturday we headed to the Mall to go shopping. Kelly’s boys went with us (Alex 10 and Jackson 7) and they were quite fascinated with these teenagers. At one store they got to talking to a salesgirl who ironically had been in a car accident and had to have her face reconstructed. Zack showed her the scars on his head and they traded stories (it was also obvious that he was using his experience to flirt with this cute salesgirl). That night we went to Shogun for dinner and laughed through most of our meal. Rick (Zack’s friend who is now at Western University) entertained us and got everyone singing songs and playing word games. Scott had told me earlier in the day to be sure to pay for all the kids meals and tell them it was from Mr. Hornback. As we were leaving I told everyone to thank Mr. Hornback because the dinner was on him. Zack looked at me confused and said, “Mr. Hornback bought everyone’s dinner? Why”. I said he just wanted to and Zack pointed at Barry Paul and said, “His name is Mr. Hornback too?” We laughed and I explained that had talked to his Dad earlier and he wanted to buy his friends dinner. Back at Kelly’s the kids (including Kelly’s boys) played hide and go seek upstairs in the dark. Again it was 2:00 AM when we finally had to shut down the party so we could get some sleep. I woke up at 6:30 and couldn’t go back to sleep. I knew that we were going to the Paul’s church this morning and they were showing slides and introducing Zack to the congregation. Grassland Heights Baptist Church has been praying for Zack since his accident and several of their members had been following his progress on the website. I had met Linda at Kelly’s house on Saturday and she was emotional as she looked at his photo album. Barry called the pastor and told him we were in town and they decided to put something together at the last minute. Kelly, Zack and I arrived early and met with Brother Rusty in his office. We discussed Zack’s experience in more detail and how it has impacted our family as well as many other people. We take our place in the church and Zack waits expectantly for his friends to arrive. He chooses to sit with them (Andrew, Trey, Rick, Tiffany, Kara and Brittany) a row behind Barry, Kelly and I. Their service included a skit put on by the youth group and a report from a missionary to Africa (they were kicking off their International Missions program). At the end of the service Brother Rusty told about Zack’s accident and welcomed our group to the service. They showed a slide presentation of the pictures from our photo album set to music. Then they asked Zack and I to come forward to give our testimony. Brother Rusty welcomed us to the pulpit explaining that Zack should not have lived but here he was standing before them. He shook Zack’s hand and asked him to share his story. Zack had readily come forward, stood before the congregation and smiled. At the microphone he looked at me, then at his audience and said, “Yes I was in an accident and basically don’t sneak out”. He looked again at me and smiled telling me that was all he had. He is not afraid or shy to be before an audience but he still doesn’t quite know how to express himself. I then took the opportunity to speak to the young people in the audience. I explained how Zack could have been the poster boy for “This could never happen to me” and that as his parents we never thought that he would sneak out in the middle of the night. I impressed upon them how “seemingly innocent choices can change their lives forever”, that God put their parents as authority over them to help them make good decisions and that we serve a mighty God who can take tragic situations and use them as a testimony. I told them that this church was one of many that prayed for Zack’s healing and that God answered those prayers beyond what we could have hoped or imagined. I shared that if I had to chose between the Zack before the accident (the A student) or the Zack after the accident who struggled to read that I don’t know which one I would pick but I am very happy with the one God gave us. It was very moving and emotional for me and the audience. We returned to our seats and Brother Rusty asked me a few more questions. They then asked Zack and I to come to the front of the church with his friends and all the young people of the congregation. They prayed for continued healing for Zack and wisdom for the teenagers hearing his story. After the service several of the kids came up to meet Zack and many parents thanked me for speaking to them. I couldn’t help thinking about the scripture reference from Luke that Brother Rusty had used in his sermon. “To whom much is given, much will be required”. We have been given so much. God has blessed us with a remarkable healing and given us back our new and improved son. I feel compelled to tell others of the mercy and power our Heavenly Father. I am reminded of the Leper who was healed by Jesus and was told to go tell everyone what had happened. We too have been touched by God. His healing hand has worked wonders in Zack’s life in the last five months and we pray with confidence that his recovery will continue. We say goodbye to the Paul’s (I am sure that Alex and Jackson will miss the houseful of roudy teenagers but Barry and Kelly will get a full night’s sleep). Zack checks the time and reminds me that he wants to make it back to Louisville in time to go to church tonight. He doesn’t want to miss the Vine, especially “that guy that sings”, but I know it is unlikely we will be back in time. As I drive back to Louisville with a car full of sleeping teenagers I am wondering where God will lead us next. How different our life is now. Not one I would have necessarily chosen but one that I am extremely grateful for. I wonder when I will step aside and hear Zack tell his audience how prayer carried him through a difficult time. We live in the moment. We understand so clearly now that God is in control. We listen carefully for we know that sometimes God whispers…but then again sometimes He sends thunder. How ironic that Zack looks towards the heavens and points out clouds with the suns halo surrounding them. He draws our eyes towards the heavens. Look up knowing that God hears your prayers. Be confident in His power and embrace His mercy. Please continue to pray for Zack’s complete recovery so God can be glorified.

Thursday December 1, 2005

Thursday December 1, 2005 Zack slept until 7:00 and then had sausage and biscuits for breakfast. Ironically he said he wanted cereal (much easier for me) but thanked me for making it for him anyway. After his shower he came in to ask me if I got the tickets to the concert in Nashville. I explained to him that last night at 10:30 I received a phone call from Toby Macs manager. She said she got my letter and was I still looking for tickets. I told her absolutely and she explained that she was managing tickets tomorrow and would do what she could to set 10 tickets aside for us. She promised to call today and let us know what she was able to do. Zack was very excited and asked if that meant we were going to the concert. I told him it sounded good but it wasn’t a done deal yet. He got dressed and came in with sunglasses on and asked me if he looked good. He was in a great mood driving to Frazier East, listening to music and talking about the concert. He had speech therapy with Leslie. He read and had to memorize a factual paragraph and then talk about what he read and write it down. All of this focuses on attention to detail with the goal of returning to school. In physical therapy with Amy he was on a stationary bike for 30 minutes to work on his endurance and in occupational therapy with Scott they worked on visual scanning and impulsivity. Rita picked him up from Frazier today because Scott was still working. I spoke at Male High School to about 100 high school students through the Fellowship of Christian Athletes (FCA). They were very attentive some even emotional. Several of Zack’s friends were there, including our neighbors Brooke Donovan and Michael Getz. I thought I was going to make it through without crying but near the end I couldn’t help myself. There was time left for questions so I got to impress upon them that if something like this could happen to Zack then it could happen to anyone of them. I urged them to listen to their parent’s council and have faith that we serve a mighty God who can accomplish anything if they turn control of their lives over to Him. Several students came up to my afterward to thank me as well as Steve Wigginton (the regional FCA Director). I am hoping that he can arrange for me to speak at Manual, Eastern, Ballard and Oldham County high schools. I have had students from several of these schools contact me saying that our message needed to be heard at their school. God has so richly blessed us through Zack’s recovery that I have to give back by sharing our story. His mercies never cease and teenagers need to understand that He is real and powerful. When I get home Zack is taking a nap but as soon as he wakes up he comes looking for me. He wants to know if I heard from anyone about the tickets. I try to occupy myself with laundry but then Kelly (my friend in Nashville) calls wanting an update. Scott tells Zack that he needs to go to his room and ask God to work the tickets out but to also thank Him for whatever the answer might be. Zack says that he is also going to ask God to “get his head better so he can drive”. At least this concert has kept his mind off of driving for most of this week. Finally I couldn’t stand it any longer and I called Toby Mac’s manager, apologized for being impatient and asked if she had tickets for us. Of course the good Lord will have 10 tickets waiting for us at the ticket window and Zack and I were jumping for joy. We called his friends and told them the news. I am as excited as they are as I help Zack pack and then pack myself. We will be in Nashville when the doors open at 5:30 to be sure we get good seats. It will be an experience to remember and I hope all Zack’s friends come back big fans of Christian rock and rap. I can’t wait to see Zack as he sings the words to songs memorized over the last few weeks. I know there will be hands in the air and it will be my reward just to see the joy on his face. Every parent wishes to give their children what they desire. How much more our Heavenly Father wants to give good things to His children. Pray that this trip will have a spiritual significance for all of us. Pray for traveling mercies as we travel across the mountains of Tennessee. Praise God that there are Christians in the entertainment business that know that the fastest way to a teenagers heart is through music. Give thanks to our Heavenly father who is smiling down at the excitement generated over a concert that will glorify Him. He sits on His throne and whispers “wait until tomorrow”. Continue to pray for Zack’s complete recovery as a testimony to the awesome power of God!!!