Tuesday August 30, 2005

Tuesday August 30, 2005 Zack was ready to get up and eat breakfast when I arrived. He gobbled it down pretty fast and was ready to get dressed when Dr. Mook (physiatrist) came in to check out his head. He told me he would remove Zack’s G-tube (the tube in his stomach that he was fed through) on Friday morning. It was still early so Zack said we should take a walk. I explained that it was raining outside and he wanted to go look at it. Since they let Scott walk him down to the cafeteria last night (they got a late night snack) he wanted to walk to the lobby. As we headed sown the hall he told me, “let’s leave, lets just get out of here”. He is talking about going home or anywhere almost every day now. We run into Kathy (speech therapist) on the first floor and he stops to talk with her like they were old friends. When she walks away he tells me “I like her”. Back in the room we still had a half hour before Kathy would be back for speech so we threw his big baseball back and forth while we took turns counting. We got up to 200 before he decided to quit. 9:00 Speech Kathy has him divide words into categories (colors, fruit, animals, clothing, sports, meat). He had a lot of difficulty but he did not quit or get frustrated. He did much better when she had him divide pictures into categories. He did get upset when he couldn’t identify letters of the alphabet. After speech he lay down in bed with a grin and said he was glad she was gone. Morning P.T. in the gym and he had to unload a cart full of fake groceries and put them in a storage bin with his right hand. Then they had him walk around the gym picking up heavy objects (balls and weights) with his right hand and put them in a cart. He had to push the cart all over the gym and up a small ramp. The wheels got stuck, the cart fell over and everything went everywhere. He got a little frustrated but immediately began to pick everything up. Amy asked him what happened and he said, “I don’t know” (angry). She showed him how to tilt the cart to get it over the hump. He emptied all the heavy objects out and them Amy got in front of the cart and made it a little harder to push. He did not like it. He looked at the clock and tried so hard to tell time. He didn’t get frustrated, just tried very hard to figure it out. He walked the balance beam and then she made him do push ups, on his knees and regular. It was hard for him. It was time for O.T. with Mary Beth and they discussed what happened when the cart fell over and how he felt. He said, “It scared the crap out of me”. He got a little upset doing a puzzle and then said he was sorry. He was frustrated, cried and shook his fist while doing the puzzle. He doesn’t want to get that upset but he can’t control it and that seems to make him angry. He is O.K. with the physical challenges but the mental challenges seem to frustrate him the most. Of course he finished all his lunch and hopped in bed for a little nap. He told me he wanted to leave, that I was driving and Donna was taking him home. I told him it was really raining hard and people were driving like maniacs. He seems to get a little worried and said “we have to get you away from those maniacs”.
Afternoon speech they worked more on identifying pictures and putting them into groups.
After speech Zack decides he will take a nap in his recliner. Rita (Scott’s Mom) sits next to him and holds his hand. He told her it would be better if she didn’t touch him. She asked if she could put her hand on his knee? He said no. Can she put her hand on his chest? No. Can she tell him he is handsome? He said yes with a grin. Back in the gym with Amy and he works out on the step machine with increased resistance. He didn’t like it. Amy had him on the mat balancing on one knee and tossing a ball. He did sit ups, push-ups and jumping jacks. Amy’s job now is to work on strength, balance and endurance. There was a little time between P.T. and O.T. so he was back in his room. Mrs. (Judy) Funderburg stopped by to tell Zack she would be back up to work with him on Saturday. She asked him if there was anything he wanted and he told her “a convertible”. She asked him if he knew who she was and he said “Judy” and really laughed. He had never called the assistant principal by her first name. He was going to sleep so she leaned down and told him she loved him. He said, “I love you too”. He is so sweet and we have come to realize how many people love him. When it was time to leave for O.T. Zack had a short dizzy spell. I feel confident that once we get weight back on him that this medication (Florenef) will take care of the problem. Mary Beth has him screw different size nuts onto bolts going through a board at eye level. He did very well. She has him lift 10 lb weights with his right hand and it was very hard for him (he is still very weak in that arm). Mary Beth told Zack he would be going home in about 3 weeks. She asked him what is the first thing you are going to do when you get home. He said, “sleep”. I guess he is tired of us constantly waking him up from naps. Back in the room he lays down to take…what else…another nap. Nick Snoddy comes to visit before dinner since he has been out of town for a while. Zack tells me that he and Nick need to leave. When I asked him where they were going he said, “out of here”. After dinner Andrew, Taylor, and Tiffany arrive. They sit around talking with Zack and he keeps asking them if they want to go bowling. He gets up and tells me goodbye and walks to the door. He insists that they are going bowling. A couple of other kids arrive and I ask them to wait in the hall but Zack keeps getting up to check to see if they are there. I decide to try taking them all to the conference room with Zack. We take a deck of cards and they sit at the table and I try to hide on the couch. Zack keeps looking at me and saying bye Mom or goodnight. They play Go Fish and Zack deals while counting in Spanish. He has a good time with them but then he is tired and we go back to the room after about 30 minutes so he can rest. Everyone says goodbye. Mr. Greener from Christian Academy comes by and tells Zack he has brought him some homework. It doesn’t seem to bother him and he says he wants to go back to school. When he leaves Zack walks Mr. Greener to the elevator, says goodbye and tries to get on the elevator. I told him Mr. Greener was leaving, not him. All the way back to the room Zack wants me to explain why he can’t leave. They started Zack on Lexapro tonight. It is a mild anti-depressant. He gets very restless particularly at night. I have to walk him around the halls while we wait for someone to give him a shower. If I stop or take him back to his room he says, “let’s go”. I have mixed feelings about him coming home. It will be nice to have our whole family back together and not driving home so late every night from downtown but it will be hard. We will no longer have the staff here to help us and I can imagine that Zack may get frustrated with Dylan and the girls. We won’t have as structured an environment for him and I don’t know how easily he will adjust. It scares me to think that he may get up in the middle of the night and fall so I envision Scott sleeping outside the bedroom door. We will need intense prayers at that time to help us be parents and nurses too. We are fortunate to have Kim Getz next door since she was a nurse but so much responsibility will be nerve racking. I remember when we brought Zack home from the hospital as an infant. We lived in California at the time and as first time parents we were very nervous. I had a very patient pediatrician that would tolerate my calls everyday (sometimes three times a day). I am feeling that apprehension again. Every moment having to be sure that he is not doing something that could make him fall and re-injure his head. Always watching to be sure he doesn’t take that helmet off. He is so precious to us. I am thankful that God is in control…that his strength is made perfect when we are weak. I know He would not spare Zack’s life and send him home without preparing us. Please pray that we can wait on God’s timing, both for Zack’s recovery and our confidence.

Monday August 29, 2005

Monday August 29, 2005 I was late getting here because of the rain and a 6-car accident on I-64. When I arrived Zack was at the nurses station and had just finished breakfast. He was in a good mood joking around with the staff. We headed to his room to get dressed and he told me he wanted to go swimming so we discussed that it was still summer. Speech in his room with Kathy at 9:00 and Zack is putting complex endings on sentences. He was very fidgety but all smiles. His answers started to get very random and weird by the time they were through. P.T. with Amy in the gym at 10:00 and she wanted him to throw a baseball like a pitcher (step out and throw). He had great form and started to laugh. Then she had him throw the football the same way. Amy put him on the exercise bike for 7 minutes working on endurance. No rest before moving to the mat for push ups and the step bench. O.T. with Mary Beth and she asked him how his weekend was. He answered, “I fell down. My accident is getting better” (apparently he remembers Sunday better than we think). He couldn’t write his name today and Mary Beth said he must have something else on his mind. He kept wanting to play hangman. They worked on recognizing coins and reading the days of the week. He had to duplicate a pattern of blocks that she kept making harder. He would get frustrated. He walked on his hands and feet, tummy up and complained that it hurt. Then he would do it again. No matter how much he complains if they ask him to do another one he will. It amazes me how determined he is even though it hurts. She had him walk and dribble with his right hand. She had him divide a deck of cards into suits using only his right hand. She suggested that we bring spare change up to his room, let him place all the coins face up, sorting them into groups and then drop them ion a jar with his right hand. This works his fine motor skills, pinching with index and thumb. He returns to his room to lay down until lunch arrives. Mary Beth decides to join us one more day and when he started eating he burned his mouth. He got very upset and emotional but soon forgot how hot it was and burned his mouth again. Now he was mad at us for letting him take another bite. He has time to finish his nap after lunch but when he woke up he was not in a very good mood (maybe his tongue was scorched)_. Afternoon speech therapy Kathy started with more complex yes or no questions (he got 85% right). He asked for paper to make an airplane and followed various directions. Back in P.T. with Amy and Zack was very emotional, a little angry. He doesn’t accomplish as much in the afternoon as he did in the
Morning. The mood swings are very apparent now and I am anxious to have his team discuss starting Zolof. He lays down to rest before O.T. and falls asleep. Forty minutes later he gets up too quickly and has a “spell” (that’s what we are calling them now that we know they aren’t seizures) because we forgot to march his feet before taking off.
O.T. with Mary Beth in the afternoon and Zack got frustrated. He got mad, took off his helmet and threw it on the floor but he got over it and apologized. Mary Beth had him on the computer game and he got his best score. Back in the room he did knock knock jokes with Rita (Scott’s Mom) and told her she was goofy. Big John (a 14 year old patient from Mayfield) comes to see Zack and brings him a really big bean-filled baseball. They play catch for a while until his dinner arrives. Zack seems very restless after dinner so we take a walk in his wheelchair, around the block outside. We go in and he is desperate for a shower. He gets new clothes on and sits to wait for his friends to arrive. Ten minutes later he is in bed. Fortunately Tiffany arrives and he is ready to get up and visit. We decide to try something Mary Beth said would be good therapy. He has to balance a chair on two legs with his right hand while doing something else with his left hand. He has a tendency to forget about his right hand so this will help him. Mary Beth felt like throwing a ball while balancing the chair would be too difficult but that’s what we decided to try. We threw the ball a few times when Zack decided to make it harder. He stood on one foot, while balancing the chair and throwing the ball. We were very impressed and Zack was proud to show off. Trey, Andrew and Taylor arrive and Zack's whole demeanor changes. He is happy, joking, laughing and throwing Big John’s baseball around. He has been moody and depressed since lunch but now he is just a teenager chilling out with his friends. God has blessed Zack with genuine, faithful friends who encourage him everyday. Scott has called and wants to switch places so he can spend an hour or two with Zack before he goes to bed. I need to go home and see Dylan and the girls. Pray that his friends don’t give up. Pray that soon he will be able to enjoy their company away from hospitals. Pray that he will continue to rely on his faith when he feels lonely and sad. Pray for his complete recovery for the Glory of God

Sunday August 28, 2005

Sunday August 28, 2005 Zack woke up once during the night last night and used the call button to get the nurse to his room. He told her that he woke up and couldn’t go back to sleep. She asked him if he wanted something to help him sleep and when he said yes she gave him Trazadone. He then slept until 8:15 when he got up to eat breakfast. Afterwards he took part of the newspaper and wrapped it around himself. When the nurse asked him if he was cold and needed a blanket he said yes. She said he was very resourceful. He wanted to go outside so Rita (Scott’s Mom) took him for a ride in his wheelchair. He wanted to pick a flower for his Mom. Rita asked him if he was going to get married. He said yes on Oct. 5th (news to me) and he wanted to have 5 kids. At 9:00 he called his Dad to see what he was doing. Now he likes to talk on the phone. At 10:00 Dr. Boran and Dr Shaw come in to check on Zack and see if the results of his EEG were available. Zack took a nap before lunch and when he woke up and headed to the bathroom at 11:30 he had another attack. Dr Boran came back to say the result were not in yet. Zack fell asleep in his recliner watching T.V. He got up at 12:20 and had another attack and this time fell to his knees. It scared him and he was very upset and started to cry. He called me and wanted to know when I would be there. I arrived after church while he was eating lunch. He was still upset about the fall and told me to fix him. He is used to me taking control and talking to the doctors. I told him not to worry about it any more that that was my job and I would take care of it. He told me we have to get out of here. I asked him where he wanted to go and he said home. When we get up to brush his teeth he asked me, “when are we both getting out of here”? I promised him as soon as he was through with therapy here we would go home. 2:00 Steve Smith from Southeast Christian Church comes by to give Zack communion. He also happens to be an E.R. doctor at Baptist East and we discuss what has been happening to Zack. He also thinks it is blood pressure related and not seizures. 3:00 Dr. Puri (pediatric neurologist on call) comes to discuss the results of Zack’s EEG. He said there was some irregular activity on the right side of his brain but not significant. It only showed that if Zack were to have a seizure it would most likely originate on the right side. He confirmed the problem was orthostatic hypotension: a sudden drop in blood pressure due to position changes. He started him on Florinef, a drug that regulates the blood pressure by helping the body retain fluid. He said the dazed look in Zack’s eyes was due to not enough blood getting to the brain. As you sit or lie down for a long period of time, blood pools in your calves. When you stand up the blood rushes to your head feeding the brain. Zack’s doesn’t happen fast enough causing him to be dizzy. He said this condition is common in tall, thin teenagers especially if they have a growth spurt. There is also a genetic factor if a parent has a history of low blood pressure. Zack fits this profile perfectly. He has recently gone through a growth spurt and lost a lot of weight. I have always had low blood pressure. Dr. Puri suggested a new way for Zack to get up. Before he stands he needs to wiggle his feet, then stand and lift his knees up and down a few times. This will pump the blood up to his brain. He also wants him drinking 10 to 12 glasses of fluids a day and Gatorade would be a good choice. Although Dr.Holmes will continue to see Zack while he is here he does not see outpatients. Once Zack leaves Frazier he will be seen by Dr. Puri. I am so grateful that Dr. Puri came by and took the time to explain everything to me. It isn’t so scary now knowing the cause of these attacks and how to treat them. Dave Stone and his family arrive while Dr. Puri is finishing up and Zack is able to visit with them for a while. By 6:00 Zack has finished dinner and is putting in his room with the golf club and putting green his Dad brought in. He has several of his friends visit (two at a time so people are really helping me follow the visiting rules). At 8:00 he said he wanted to call his Dad. I asked him if he remembered our home phone number and he said it. I asked him if he could dial it and he did. He told his dad he wanted to go fishing. When they hung up I asked him if he remembered my cell phone number and he did. He also knew Scott’s cell phone number but he couldn’t remember his own (not surprising since he never called himself). He is doing so well it’s amazing. People that haven’t seen him for a week or even a few days are shocked at his progress.
10:30 PM Zack was laying in bed and said he wanted to see the computer. I got the laptop for him and typed his name. Then he typed “zackistheonlywaytoshowyou”. I asked him what that meant and he just shrugged his shoulders. This is the first thing Zack has typed since his accident. I think that maybe God has revealed to him that His discipline may seem harsh but that Zack is the only way to show you His healing power. He has come so far and we know the hand of God has been on him. Prayers have lifted him up since day one. It reminds me of the song we sang in church this morning: “You said, ask and I’ll give the Nations to you. Oh Lord, that’s the cry of my heart”. People from many nations are praying for him. I know that is not what the writer of this song meant but we can no longer sit and church and not apply every scripture and lyric to our situation. We feel so blessed that God has drawn us into His Word so intimately. To know the meaning of Him as our shelter. To believe that we will have life more abundantly. Do not weep for us but weep for those who go through similar tragedies and don’t know Jesus. They have no shelter in the storm. We are wrapped in His loving arms and each day He sends us new hope. I hear Him whisper to me still “just wait until tomorrow”. Pray for Zack’s mixed up words so he will be able to communicate his needs. Pray for complete recovery.

Saturday August 26, 2005

Saturday August 26, 2005 I arrived at the hospital about 8:20 with Kyle and Logan (we overslept a bit). Zack slept through the night and woke up starving. He ate all his breakfast, got dressed and said, “lets go”. We went to the nurse’s station so he could get weighed (130 #) and then headed to the conference room for our own therapy. Kathy (speech) had put a folder together for us so we would have something to work on. We did 12 pages in the matching section where he is shown numbers, letters or pictures and has to draw a line or circle the corresponding one. He got 100% on all of then until we got to words that had similar spellings. We moved to the auditory comprehension pages and these were much harder for him. He was shown a picture and I asked him to find different objects within the picture. He did well on the first two pages but then the pictures got a lot busier. We had worked for 45 minutes when I decided it was time to quit. Mrs. Funderburg (his middle school vice principal) had stopped by as we were finishing up and she went back to our room. Zack wanted to go somewhere so Mrs.Funderburg, Kyle, Logan and I took him for a ride to the deli. Zack wanted something to eat so we got mini chocolate donuts and pink lemonade. He was nearly finished with them by the time Kyle came back with her drink. I don’t think it will take us long to get him back up to training weight. At 11:00 Zack had his first meeting with Dr. Calvary (psychologist). She asked him how he felt and he said, “I feel kind of wacky”. He told her that sometimes he is sad and when she asked him if he ever gets frustrated and he said yes. She said what frustrates you and he answered something close to occupational therapy (she confirmed that was what he meant). She asked him if speech frustrates him and he said yes. O.K. get ready…She asked him “What do you do when you get frustrated”. He answered, “I talk to God”. She responded, “What does God tell you?” He said, “To stay the course”! I got cold chills. They talked some more about his friends, the facts that he likes to see them and he is not sad when they are here. He used some big vocabulary words (like inequitable) but not in the right context. Dr. Calvary talked some about the accident asking him yes or no questions. She told me he had a striking sense of awareness at this stage. She confirmed that our faith will help him recover. She is going to squeeze another meeting in on Tuesday between his other therapy sessions and she also wants to talk to Dr. Miller about starting Zack on a low dose of Zolof for depression. She explained it takes about 4 to 5 weeks before he would feel the full effect of Zolof (although he will get an immediate boost) so she wants him on it before he goes home. Zack had been taking a short nap after Dr. Calvary left and I had to wake him up to eat lunch at 12:30. We headed to the bathroom and he had another attack. This time he seemed to shake more in his legs. He ate all his lunch and we headed to the gym for O.T. with Jeff. He assembled the pipes to match pictures again and he did great. He did not get frustrated and responded well to Jeff. He pitched beanbags into a basketball goal and then passed 2 beanbags back and forth at the same time with Jeff. Before they were through he was juggling three beanbags with Jeff at a fast pace. He was laughing, especially if Jeff dropped one before he did. We were all impressed. Jeff asked him where he went to school and Zack told him CAL. We moved to the light board and Jeff set it so that only the lights on the right would light up. Zack got 29 before his time ran out in 60 seconds, which is unbelievable since he was only able to do 12 with his right hand a few days ago. At 2:00 he had art therapy in the conference room with 4 other patients (none of them had traumatic brain injuries). They did finger-painting but Zack did not like getting his hands dirty and got upset. We moved to a paintbrush and he participated for about 30 minutes. I think if he had a choice he would not do art therapy. We come back to the room to rest and he falls asleep in his recliner watching a baseball game. He wakes up to go to the bathroom and as we head that way he has another attack. He has had plenty of fluids today and I aggressively salted both breakfast and lunch. I still have not heard from Dr. Holmes on the results of his EEG. Donna and Scott talk me into some shopping therapy so I leave Zack in his Dad’s care tonight. Donna, Michelle (her daughter) and I take Kyle and Logan out to eat and my phone rings. When I answer a voice says, “what’s up” and I realize it’s Zack. He says we’re at McDonalds and starts laughing. Scott had taken the pedways to Kosair Children’s Hospital where they have a McDonalds. They get ice cream and French fries and had a great time. Later back in the room Scott asked Zack, “I heard you talked to God”. Zack nods yes. Scott says, “You mean you prayed to God”. Zack said, “No I met him”. Scott was a little freaked out and told him that they would have to talk more about it later. They talked about the accident and Scott explained again that he hit his head really hard and they had to remove his bone flap so his brain could swell. Then Zack felt all over his head so he could tell where the bone was gone. Zack seems so clear minded at times. He can have a conversation with you and understand everything. But then at other times the aphasia kicks in and his sentences don’t make sense. We feel so fortunate that Zack has come so far in such a short period of time. We truly feel that Zack is experiencing a unique connection to God and He is revealing Himself to Zack. I pray that one day Zack will have the opportunity to share his talks with God to many people so they will believe that He does hear and answer our prayers. Continue to pray for Zack’s healing. Pray for all those people who don’t have a relationship with God to carry them through rough times. To God be the Glory!

Friday August 26, 2005

Friday August 26, 2005 Zack was in bed awake trying to get out when I arrived. He was mad at me because I wasn’t there and he said, “Look what time it is!” (7:28 AM).
He was in a hurry to go to the bathroom and I was fumbling with the lock on his bed zipper. Finally got him to the bathroom and (how can I put this) he had really bad aim on purpose. I asked him why he did that and he responded, “It’s your fault, you should have been here”. I think he is very clear minded and now acting more like a teenager.
9:00 Speech in our room with Kathy and she was working on identifying letters and numbers (he got about 50%). She had him complete phrases (table & ______) and
complete sentences (yesterday I saw __________). He did pretty good although sometimes he made up words. On the way to the bathroom after Kathy left he has another attack. It seemed to be very mild and he did not see double after wards.
10:00 P.T. with Amy they tried something new to work on hand/eye coordination. He had to throw a beanbag to Amy while catching one that she threw to him with the other hand. She worked on his balance by making him stand on a piece of foam and close his eyes. Twice he fell back but on the third time he was able to balance to the count of ten. He stood on a balance platform to work on body control and strength. He loves the physical challenges because he is so competitive. Then he had to do squats and push-ups on his knees (sounds like baseball training). She had him walk crossing his left leg over his right in a scissors formation but Amy had to help him to keep his body straight. She tried to get him to walk on his tiptoes but that was too much for him. Amy suggested that we get some balloons to toss back and forth with him in his room using his right hand. Balloons will move differently than his baseball and he will have to coordinate his movements. 10:45 O.T. with Mary Beth and Zack got a little frustrated trying to communicate some thoughts. She had him put together a large sunflower puzzle and he did it with minimum instruction. He was hearing pages over the intercom and repeating the names they called. He heard a page and wrote Mr. Linker on his paper very clearly. Mary Beth told Zack, “write your name” and he wrote his entire name, first and last, without help, without seeing it first, with such determination and confidence. It is the most beautiful signature (even though it’s printed) I have ever seen. Mary Beth wanted to work on problem solving and had him pull a flexible tube through and up and over holes in wood. He said something about “my car, in a coma” and was very upset. I’m sure that will come up later when he can express himself better. Both Mary Beth and Amy see marked improvements since yesterday. Lunch again with Mary Beth in our room. He is eating at a much slower pace and more relaxed. Mary Beth doesn’t think she will have to come for lunch therapy any more but reminded us that we need to limit the number of people in his room (no visitors during meals right now) and no phone calls to distract him. At 1:30 I take Zack to Kosair Children’s Hospital for his EEG. The preparation for it takes as long as the actual test. They have to attach 25 electrodes to his head in exact locations. Of course he doesn’t help the process because he keeps reaching up and touching them or scratching his head. Once they get him ready they turn off the lights and lay him back in a recliner. The actual test takes about 30 minutes and I can watch the monitor with the nurses. I see interruptions in the patterns but according to the nurses the test is so sensitive it can pick up a hard swallow or an eye blink. They can’t give me any results. It will have to be read by Dr. Holmes the neurologist who saw him last Sunday. We barely make it down to the gym (in fact we were late) for our afternoon P.T. session. Amy uses E-stem (electric stimulation) and has Zack pick up beanbags and drop them through a basketball goal. It is hardest for him to let go of the beanbag and although he complains that it hurts he never quits. Back in the room after therapy Zack has another attack on his way to the bathroom again (I wonder if there is such a thing as bathroom seizures). 3:30 Speech with Kathy and Zack does very well at identifying letters and numbers. She asked him several questions including how old are you. He said he was 20 and when she doubted him he insisted he was 20. Finally he admitted he wasn’t 20 so she asked again how old he was…18 he said with a smile. Kathy loves his sense of humor. 4:00 O.T. with Mary Beth and Zack plays a video game. He has to move a basket to catch balls. He had played it for the first time yesterday on the beginning setting (1). Today he scored very well on 5. He also played basketball. My brother had showed up and they took turns shooting baskets, Zack with his right arm. Zack enjoyed the competition and began to shoot better when my brother teased him about not shooting as well as Dylan. Mary Beth said his right arm is getting much stronger. Zack got a new wheelchair. It’s a sleek little number that has much bigger wheels that he could move himself. When we finally got back to the room Zack was very tired. He was asleep soon after getting in bed. Dr Mook (physiatrist) and Heidi stop by to check on Zack but they don’t wake him. He tells me Zack can get his hair washed in the shower tonight (that should feel really good since he hasn’t washed it in 50 days). I also think Dr. Mook likes teasing me because when I showed him how Zack wrote his full name he asked me “are you going to put it on the website?” Actually I hadn’t thought about it but it sounds like a good idea so if it shows up here you can thank Dr. Mook. At 7:00 Zack’s friends start to arrive and I stick to the rule about only 2 or 3 people in the room at one time. Everyone is so patient about waiting their turn in the hall so they make it easy for me.
7:30 and 7:50 Zack has 2 attacks. I am anxious to talk to Dr. Holmes tomorrow and figure out what is going on. I got a phone call today from Mrs. Funderburg who was Zack’s assistant principal in Middle School (she is now the principal at one of Christian Academy’s other campus). She is involved in the Discovery Program at her school,
which teaches kids with learning differences. She has been thinking about Zack a lot and what she can do for him. She said God has put it on her heart to come work with him on the weekends when he is not having therapy. That is such a blessing to us for several reasons. Zack could use additional help with writing, reading and comprehension. Zack gets bored on the weekends when he doesn’t have therapy so this will be something he will enjoy. He told his friends tonight that he wants to go back to school. We are so overwhelmed at the outpouring of compassion for Zack. I was reading again today about the factors that impact a person’s recovery. They stress the importance of personal motivation and family support. Zack has the biggest family in the world and tons of support! Please pray that the staff here will see his support and realize it is the Christian connection that ties us all together. When one child of God is hurting He sends healing in many forms…teenagers, schoolteachers, ministers, parents, people who hardly know him and give encouragement on line and prayer. We are tremendously blessed and want the world to know it. Pray that we will have many opportunities to share Zack’s story. Pray his recovery will impact others to want to know how great is our God!
2 Cor. 1:7 “And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort”.

Thursday August 25, 2005

Thursday August 25, 2005 Zack was up early this morning and had breakfast before I arrived. Dr. Miller came by and looked at his head wound, which is healing nicely. He also discussed waiting until next week before we move him out of his tent bed and into a lowboy (which can be set only 6” off the floor). We are very afraid that he will get out of bed in the middle of the night and fall without his helmet on. It was almost 9:00 so I had to drag Zack out of bed so he would be ready for speech. When he got up and walked towards the closet to pick out clothes he had another “attack”. He stopped and I had to support him. He had a blank look in his eyes like he wasn’t there for about 3 seconds. Dr. Mook came in and said he would order an EEG to rule out seizures (It still may be difficult to tell unless he has a seizure during the test). It was 5 after 9:00 and we were ready for Kathy when our schedule arrived with changes. Apparently we weren’t going to speech until 11:30 and Zack was not happy about it. He got very upset and we walked the halls because “we have to find somewhere to go”. He keeps trying to go down the elevator to go to therapy and when I stop him he yells, “You’re pissing me off”! He does not like his schedule being changed. He was mad but expressing himself very well. When we got back to his room he told me “get on the bench and call somebody”. He wants me to fix it if I am going to stay on his team, otherwise I can get off the bench. In P.T./O.T. Amy and Mary Beth had him working out doing sit ups, crunches and exercising his right arm by pushing a weight up a small platform while receiving E-stem (electric stimulation). Donna found our missing camera in the back of someone else’s wheelchair. We have been looking for it since last week so now we can get those pictures developed. 11:30 In speech I think Zack was still mad at the time being changed because Kathy asked him basic questions, day, date why you are here, who am I and he couldn’t answer any of them. She showed him a piece of paper with random numbers and letters and asked him to find a particular one. He got 90% of them right. When she switched to words, showing him 3 at a time, he only got about 60% of them.
Mary Beth (O.T.) came to have lunch with us again today to work with Zack on personal skills. We love having her for lunch because she is so good with Zack. She also told us how serious re-injury would be and how common it is, particularly in teenage boys. She explained that when Zack comes home his friends are going to want to take him out but it can’t happen. For some time either Scott or I will have to be with him when he goes out because he does not have the filter to stop him from saying something that could get him in trouble. He may be standing in line with his friend to get ice cream and some big guy is ordering a banana split. Everyone may be thinking “this guy doesn’t need to be eating” but they would never say it to his face. Unfortunately Zack might and then the guy could punch him. Re-injury! His friends could want to take him bowling but there are people smoking there and 2nd hand smoke causes seizures in people with traumatic brain injuries. Zack may wear his friends down and convince them it would be O.K. Re-injury! Once you have had one brain injury a 2nd one can be devastating so we can’t take chances. We can’t let his friends have that responsibility. We have to be careful where he goes and protect him from potentially dangerous situations because he will not make good decisions for a while. 1:30 Speech with Kathy and Zack is asked to finish the end of a sentence (Put the pie in the _____________). She would also give him 2 tasks to do at the same time (touch your nose and pat your head). Two days ago he got 50% but today he accomplished all of them. The afternoon P.T. session with Amy was difficult. He had to get on his knees on a mat and touch targets in Amy’s hands that she moved around. He got very frustrated and hit a pillow with his fist. She had him lie on a large skateboard and pull himself around with his arms. It was hard work and he was very tired. In O.T. Mary Beth had him walk like a spider on his hands and feet belly down and then turn around and do it belly up. Very difficult and I’m not sure how well I could have done it. Zack got tired and he complained but he would stop. He is so determined and strong. I think he really understands that we are here for therapy and that’s what makes him better. Back in his room he was resting in his recliner. He decided to get up and again had another “attack”. I thought we had these figured out and giving him plenty of fluids would solve the problem but here they are again. Several of his friends came to visit and when it was time for them to leave he wanted to go with them. We told them they had to go do homework to make it not so appealing. I need to remind his friends when it’s time to leave not to discuss where they might be going since Zack is very aware of what he cannot do now. He is progressing at such a rapid pace that the rules change all the time. Some of the rules I have not enforced but now I will have to. We need to keep it to 2 or 3 visitors at a time. He can get over stimulated, which could aggravate his depression. If you come as a group please be aware that some of you may have to wait in the conference room (there is a wide screen TV there). Please be sensitive that when you have been visiting for a while and others come that you should end your visit. He loves to see his friends and it is good therapy as long as we don’t overwhelm him. 10:00 PM Zack has been sleeping for about an hour so when he wakes up Kelly (night nurse) wants to weigh him and he needs to go to the bathroom. As we walk that way he has another attack but this time I have Kelly and Erin (aide) to witness it. Kelly says it looks like he was having a focal seizure. We sit him down and he says something about his vision. He says he sees 2 of me. I hold up 1 finger he says he sees 2. He closes one eye and I hold up 1 finger and he sees only 1. He is seeing double at times, just as Mary Beth has suspected since the first week here (I told you I liked her). Kelly wrote it in the report and we will be sure to talk to Dr Mook about it in the morning. Please pray for wisdom that the doctors can figure out what is causing these “attacks”. Pray that discussions about the accident will be productive (he is starting to ask questions and making comments...”how bad was it?”). Pray that he will understand and embrace God’s promise in Romans 8:28- “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” And always pray for complete recovery in order to glorify God!

Wednesday August 24, 2005

Wednesday August 23, 2005 Zack was sound asleep when I arrived and there was no waking him up. Melissa (his nurse last night) came in to talk with me. She said that Zack had figured out how to unzip his tent bed and she found him climbing out the back. That scares the staff to death because he doesn’t sleep in his helmet so he could fall and hurt his head again. They had to put a ring around the zippers so he couldn’t open them and she taught him how to use the nurse call button. He then proceeded to call them about 20 times but he always had a question. One time he asked her “Am I O.K.?” Later he told her, “That killed my life”. She asked “the accident?” and he responded “yes”. She told him his life was just different now and that when he was better he could talk to people about what happened to him, just like his Mom. He said, “yeah I can talk to people”. They talked a lot and she took him for walks in his wheelchair. He stayed up from 4 AM to 6:30, which is why I couldn’t get him up. We had to hurry and get ready for speech after breakfast. At 9:00 Kathy arrived but he was still tired. He got a little confused on the sentence completion (On Saturday I_____________) and then she moved to yes/no “trick” questions (Do clocks have hands?). In the morning P.T./O.T. session they tried some new activities. They had him sit on a big ball, bounce and balance himself. He had to lay on the ball and walk with his hands, which really made him work that right arm. Mary Beth (O.T.) had him write his name and once she wrote it he could copy it successfully. He walked an obstical course and when he was done he had to put away all the obsticals. He got to golf again, made it in the hole 4 times and raised his hand in triumph each time. He had proper form, bent his knees and looked good putting. He really enjoys therapy when it is something he can do even if it is hard.
Mary Beth came and had lunch with us again today so she could encourage him to eat using his right hand. Lunch was questionable…it was had to tell what some of the food was, especially the dumpling. Zack didn’t finish everything because he wanted to get back in bed and take a nap. It was time for us to go to our Family Meeting. Scott, Rita, Donna and I were brought to the 5th floor board room where we met with Mary Beth (O.T.), Amy (P.T.), Kathy (speech) Dr. Calvery (psychologist), Sarah (case manager)
Judy (pediatric coordinator) and Dr, Miller (Physiatrist). We were infomed that Zack had progressed to a Rancho Level 5. Each one reported on Zack’s progress and what they would focus on in the coming weeks. Mary Beth will work on writing and personal skills (feeding, dressing…). She informed us it was important that the environment be quiet when he was on task (like brushing his teeth on eating) so that he could focus. Amy will work on strength and endurance. She explained that the right shoulder was coming out of socket because the muscles supporting it were weak (the brain is not sending a message to contract that shoulder muscle). She wanted us to start making Zack put the brakes on his wheelchair and move the footrest himself before getting out. They will do E-stem (electronically stimulate) on his right shoulder every other day. Kathy will keep working on sentence completion and language comprehension. Hers is probably the toughest job. She told us that we need to repeat words to Zack that he uses improperly by telling him that doesn’t make sense and letting him hear someone else say it. Ask him to explain what he means and help him search for the right words. Judy is responsible for coordinating efforts with Christian Academy. When he is ready she will be contacting the school for his records so they will know how much he will have to relearn. She also told us that he had come along way and she was very impressed with his progress. Dr Calvery told us that when he leaves Frazier he will have a complete Neuro Psych evaluation. She warned us that he will be moody and more emotional. She also noted that Zack gets a lot of young visitors (teenagers) and although the support is great we need to be careful. She is concerned that inappropriate behavior and things that Zack might say now will embarrass him when he returns to school. She warned us that his friends may carry negative opinions back with them or they may make an innocent comment about a behavior (like picking his nose) once he is back at school, that will upset him or make him mad. Things that he says or does now that they may think is funny, won’t be funny to Zack. He will be sensitive to their comments. Dr Calvery explained that his injury is very difficult to understand and teenagers can be cruel in there ignorance. She also explained that people with brain injuries that have a clear understanding of who they were before their accident are more likely to suffer from depression afterwards because they will be conscience of being different. Dr Miller told us that visitors must leave when Zack is tired because he needs to get rest. He also said the best way to change negative behavior is to redirect Zack. If we laugh at a particular behavior or comment then Zack will be encouraged to repeat it. His team of doctors and therapist have to generalize and compare him to other patients with the same injury. But our situation is different. We don’t have a bunch of teenagers coming here that don’t know what is going on. They read the website, ask questions and have followed his progress from the beginning. They are informed, they understand some behavior is out of Zack’s control and will stop as he moves into a different phase of recovery. God is in control. He has been since the beginning and will continue when Zack leaves here. I know that Zack has good friends that will protect him from ignorant comments and we have a school that is supportive and already sensitive to our needs. He is loved. By God, by his family, by his friends and now by many people who continue to pray for him.
Before the meeting was over Scott was lightening the mood with humor. He was making comments that caused his mother to tell him he was not a doctor. He responded with “but I did stay in a Holiday Inn Express last night” (if you haven’t seen the commercial you won’t understand). Zack had several friends visit him tonight. He knew Tiffany’s name. He seemed somewhat depressed before his friends visited but when they are here he usually comes out of it and is laughing. Brice, a therapy dog, came to visit also. Zack pet him for a while and then got very upset. He told me “I had a dog too”. When they asked him his dogs name he couldn’t remember but then I showed him a picture and said that was his dog Toby. He was sad and said, “Please don’t talk about Toby anymore”. He is more aware now of what is going on. He is beginning to see the significance of his injury. He is sad when his friends leave. Andrew and Taylor were the last to leave and we walked them all the way outside. It seemed easier for him to say goodbye to them on the sidewalk. I need to remind them not to leave Zack thinking that he was missing out on something by not going with them. I kept telling him everyone had to go do homework (surely he will feel grateful to be left out of that activity). Zack’s accident has affected him but it has also impacted a lot of other people, many who have never met him. I continue to receive cards and postings from people who are praying more and have a deeper appreciation of the many blessings God so lovingly gives his children. Marissa (a previous girlfriend of Zacks) told me tonight that she has gotten involved with SADD (students against destructive decisions) at Eastern High School. I can imagine Zack heading up a similar program at CAL when he returns. He is so determined and strong. We know the road ahead will not be easy. Zack will have tough times. He will get depressed, disappointed, angry and may get his feeling hurt. But he will never be alone. There has always been someone with him, who cries with him and understands exactly what he is feeling or trying to say. He has Gods promise in scripture, “For I know the plans I have for you, “ declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart”. Jeremiah 29: 11-13 Please pray that God will be glorified through Zack’s victories and his struggles. That his friends will be examples to others of how Christians handle difficult situations. That our teenagers will be exceptional and Zack’s recovery will be complete!

Tuesday August 23, 2005

Tuesday August 23, 2005 Zack was awake in bed with the lights out when I arrived. He was in such a good mood. He told me to get him up so we could take a walk. We ran into Nick a 14 year old in a wheelchair that Zack has met many times. I asked him if he knew his name and he said “Antonio McStuff”. He is very funny and he laughs at himself. Dr. Miller came in as we were throwing the baseball. He was impressed with how well Zack was using his right arm. He also told me that after talking with all of Zack’s therapist they decided to wait on the Zolof. Depression is a natural part of this phase and an indication that he is “coming out of his injury”. They don’t want to give him anything that will suppress his recovery so Zolof will have to wait. As long as we know the plan we can deal with it. 9:00 Speech in the room with Kathy he answers all of her questions appropriately. She gave him half sentences and he had to complete them. He did very well, laughed and gave some funny answers (“Do you want to check my Mom and see where she is?”). P.T./O.T. in the gym with Amy and Mary Beth at 10:00. They worked on the lightboard again and Amy held his left hand so that he had to use his right one. He did very well at scanning the board and was very proud of his score. Then they tossed beanbags at different colored targets on the floor with his right arm. He missed one and said, “That was weak”. He missed another and snapped his fingers on his left hand as he shot. He is very relaxed and animated with his therapist. He enjoyed the game even though he had to work hard at gripping the beanbag, keeping his wrist straight and making a hard toss. They also played the game that Rita (Scott’s Mom) brought that is an oblong ball on 2 ropes that you pull back and forth. He loved it and his coordination was great. It is the perfect exercise for him because it works his shoulders and arms. He had fun and laughed a lot. Mary Beth brought out the pegboard with colored pegs. Last week he had trouble putting only 2 colors of pegs in a straight line but today he used his right hand and successfully did 4 colors. He even made a pattern skipping a hole between each peg. He is still very competitive and told them “I kicked both your butts”. After his morning therapy sessions he was ready for a nap and lay down with a smile on his face. He was quite pleased with himself. Mary Beth (O.T.) joined us for lunch to watch how he ate using his right hand. He did much better with her than he did yesterday with Lori from speech. He didn’t get mad or frustrated once and even laughed when he snuck a green bean into his mouth using his fingers. We are always asking him if he has to go to the bathroom (his brain doesn’t always relay that message) that today he asked Donna if she had to go to the bathroom. 1:30 speech with Kathy again and they tried reading. He said, “It doesn’t make any sense”. She showed him objects and words and he correctly picked the word cup for a cup. This is “word object association” and something she just started working on. He missed the next 2 items, said he didn’t know and “I need help” and got upset for just a moment. Kathy let him try a pretzel and he put the whole thing in his mouth at once. He does not know how to take small bites so all meals have to be supervised. Kathy was aware that we needed to get another negative culture for MRSA to move him out on controlled isolation. His MRSA was in his sputum (the mucus you cough up) so to get a culture done they need a sample of his sputum. To do that he needs to cough (which he hasn’t done in a long time) or they have to put a catheter down his throat and suction him. Kathy thinks she can get his to cough and spit so we will try it tomorrow. When she asked him yes/no questions today he got 70% correct. The afternoon session in the gym with Mary Beth (O.T.) was tough. She really wanted to work his right arm and shoulder so she made him shoot basketballs from a crouched position while they electrically stimulated the muscles of his right shoulder. It was hard work, he complained but he wouldn’t give up. They are impressed with his determination. She even had him lifting light weights to strengthen the right hand and arm. At the end of the session he said, “thank you” even though he cried a little. I have noticed that he has become very polite and loving, always saying thank you and hugging everyone goodbye. He took a long nap after therapy until some of his girlfriends came for a visit. They were asking him questions. He told Kara that she was a “3” on a scale of 1 to 10 but he said “1” was the best. I asked him what I was and he said I was a 2. He said he was a 2 but he said his Dad was a 50. We all laughed and he knew he was funny. Scott arrives with Dylan and the girls. We have decided to switch nights this week because the kids want me to take them to the Fair. We have to keep their life as normal as possible so I’m off to pizza, funnel cakes, rides and farm animals (pray for me). Zack had a fabulous day today so your prayers preventing depression, for the meantime, have been answered. His friends are great therapy. They throw the baseball with him and make Zack use his right hand. They challenge him to hit the balloon in his room so that he has to raise his right arm above his shoulder. But he does get tired and needs his rest so sometimes we have to run people off. Please pray that his friends will understand when their visit is cut short. Pray that they will see how hard Zack has to work to recover and be patient with him. Pray that they will be as determined to make good choices as Zack is to get better. God has blessed us so richly by giving us great advances in his recover to sustain our hope. Pray that he will continue to use Zack to bless others by demonstrating the power of prayer.

Monday August 22, 2005

Monday August 22, 2005 Zack was awake in bed with his lights out trying to get undressed. He saw me and started laughing. He said he gave his uniform pants to some girl. 9:00 speech therapy with Kathy in his room and she informs us that he can’t go to group lunch because he had MRSA at University Hospital and hasn’t had 3 negative cultures (only 2 but they never ordered the 3rd). She said they would schedule a private feeding in his room to hopefully remove the restrictions from his diet. Kathy showed him large cards with pictures of things on them (apple, horse, toilet) and asked him what they were. He was very frustrated because he knew what they were but retrieved the wrong word. Once she gave him the beginning sound he was able to finish the word. He counted the correct number of people in the pictures and did very well on word association. P.T./O.T. at 10:00 in the gym and his blood pressure and dizziness were discussed. Mary Beth (O.T.) really thinks the problem is with his eyes, which, she identified as vesicular, neurological or eyes reacting slow. We may have to do a more thorough blood pressure check by putting him on a tilt table. Once we rule out blood pressure we can research his vision more in depth. I believe it is a combination of both (I’m his mother so I’m probably right). Mary Beth started a paper airplane but Zack took it from her and finished it. He then started throwing it with his right hand. He had to walk/maneuver around an obstacle course with the goal to make him focus on his right side. He asked to go look for Melissa (his nurse many nights who takes him for late night rides in his wheelchair) because he needs to find her a passenger. He does remember people here that he never knew before his accident. At 12:30 Lorri from Speech Therapy arrives to watch how Zack eats and introduce new foods. His lunch consisted of mashed potatoes, applesauce, greens (all of which he has had before) and pork (whole this time). She wanted him to cut his meat with a butter knife, which was impossible for him (she had difficulty doing it herself). He did not enjoy lunch and I don’t think he liked Lorri, who kept stopping him from taking bites until he chewed (how do you chew mashed potatoes or applesauce). At one point he became very upset and started banging his fork on his plate. He was hungry, she was late and all he wanted to do was eat. He failed his eating test because Lorri says he eats too fast, takes too big of bites and doesn’t chew his food long enough (sounds like most teenage boys I know). So he will still have to have his meat ground, can’t have sandwiches or rolls (although they have sent them up on his tray before and he ate them with no problem) nothing crunchy, chewy or hard. The only part about it that bothers me is that he would really like to have pretzels (his favorite snack) and they would give him the salt he needs. I will lobby to get just pretzels added and be happy. Right now I am frustrated because I was sure Zack would pass the feeding test and I could keep my promise We arrived for speech a little late and I asked Rebecca (another speech therapist filling in for Kathy) if she would just try small pieces of pretzels. She did let him eat 3 small pieces, which he chewed and swallowed with no problems. She made a note to have Kathy see him eat pretzels. He easily answered her yes or no questions and followed directions. Back in the gym for afternoon P.T./O.T. and we have a new P.T. Angela who is very sweet and gentle. Maybe a little too sweet because she didn’t quite know what to do (she is new) and Zack could sense that and he took over. Then we got Mary Beth (O.T). Who knows Zack well. She worked with him on putting a sequence of pictures in order. She put post-it-notes all over his body and he had to stand in front of a mirror to remove them. Dr. Miller (physiatrist resident) came to discuss Zack’s shoulder with Mary Beth. He is still having a lot of trouble with it and they will put together a program and explain it to us in the Family Meeting Wednesday. Back in his room he naps before Scott comes with Dylan, Kyle and Logan. At first he handles their visit pretty good but he starts to get upset and is showing signs of depression. He keeps checking the clock. Later we start to get visitors and Jules from our dentist office stops by with some things for Zack. He brushes his teeth with a new rotary toothbrush and flosses. He has always taken good care of his teeth and it is nice to see him interested in them again. He glances at the clock and says, “ We have 2 more minutes”. He thinks he is going to therapy tonight and gets very upset when I tell him there is no more therapy today. He goes for a walk with Charlie (one of his nurses) to get the ants out of his pants and then comes back ready to visit with his friends. Andrew, Trey, Taylor and Kelsey all play baseball with him. They keep encouraging him to throw with his right hand and dare him to try to hit the ceiling. This is such good therapy because he has to extend his right arm over his head in order to throw it that high. Soon he gets tired and heads for his bed. Melissa (his nurse tonight) comes in to check his blood pressure and he tells her that he feels bad, very sad. He says goodbye to his friends and takes another nap. Now I can see first hand what people mean when they say they are depressed and don’t want to get out of bed. After his shower I talk him into sitting up in his recliner and watching the football game. He finally seems relaxed. He points to my laptop and says to write compliments. He has noticed me before taking notes and now I think he realizes I am writing about him. I know one day he will want to know what happened while he was “gone” and I can hand him this manuscript of the missing pieces. He will see how many people prayed for him, encouraged him and loved him. He will read of the lesson he taught to many people he didn’t even know and realize how he was carried in the arms of Christ through his suffering. I told him tonight that there are people all over the world praying that he will get better and he told me to listen to his prayers. One day he will be able to thank those people himself and pray for them. Scott calls and reminds me to thank everyone again from him. He gets emotional at the outpouring of compassion from close friends to people who barely know our family. If you don’t read the comments please go back to August 17th and read the posting from Scott. Pray tonight that God will whisper in Zack’s ear 1st Peter 5:7 “Cast all your burdens on the Lord for he cares for you” and this will ease his depression.

Sunday August 21, 2005

Sunday August 21, 2005 Scott couldn’t stand it and decided to go back to the hospital at 1:00 A.M. When he arrived he was passing Zack’s room headed to the nurses station to tell them he was there when he heard Zack crying. When Scott walked into his room Zack stopped and looked puzzled. He told Scott he had a bad dream, and then he smiled real big and started laughing. He said he was glad his Dad was there and Scott said they had great conversation. He was laughing a lot at Dad’s goofy jokes, like when a nurse would come into the room Scott would tell Zack that he use to date her. He thought that was really funny. He said he remembered golfing with his Dad in Hilton Head. Scott was there for breakfast while I went to the church with the girls. He said Zack seemed so clear minded and had good manners (probably not what I would think was good manners). I arrived after church to relieve Scott and ran into Dr. Raff from Infectious Decease Control who was caring for Zack at University Hospital. I asked him to come by and see how well Zack was doing since he hadn’t seen him since he came to Frazier. Dr. Raff was very pleased with Zack’s progress and when it was time for him to leave I wanted to get a picture. At 1:15 I asked Zack to stand up and when he did he had another attack (I don’t how else to refer to it). He was dizzy, blank stare like he wasn’t “there” and his body went limp. Dr. Raff said he felt like Zack had a “Petit-mal absence seizure” so he went to the nurses station and wrote an order for a Neurologist to come see him. I was so glad that Dr. Raff was there because the three times this happened yesterday there were no doctors or nurses around to see it. Dr. Raff left and Zack continued to visit with his friends Tiffany and Brittney. At 1:30 he stood up again and had another attack. This time his eyes rolled back into his head and his legs were shaking. I yelled for Holly (our nurse again today) and was grateful the girls were there with me. We sat him down and he said he didn’t feel good, was still dizzy, his head hurt and his eyes hurt. Holly took his blood pressure while he was laying back in his recliner (100 over 70). Then she had him sit up and it dropped to 84 over 60. Holly still thinks this is related to his blood pressure and not seizures, but she told me a Neurologist would be coming today to check him out. Zack kept watching the clock and asked me, “When are we leaving”. I asked him where are we going and he answered “therapy”. He was not happy when I explained that it was Sunday and he didn’t have any therapy. We decided to take him down to the conference room for our own form of therapy. There was a game board with big holes to throw beanbags in and a large bulls eye made of Velcro. Zack worked at both for 30 minutes and even threw with his right arm a lot. While we were there the Copeland’s came to see Zack. Mr. Copeland was his Spanish teacher last year and Mrs. Copeland had him for History. They talked with him for a while and went back to his room with us. I told Mr. Copeland that Zack had been speaking Spanish and he was very pleased. Mr. Elrod from Southeast Christian Church came to pray and give Zack communion at 3:30. I was visiting with my sisters (Rosemare and Colleen) when Dr. Holmes (neurologist) arrived. He talked with me about when the attacks occur (always when he goes from a sitting position to standing), examined Zack and read his chart. He doesn’t think that it is seizures but rather “automonic dysfunction” (the regulation of blood pressure). We need to expand Zack’s vascular volume and the best way to do that is with fluids. We need to offer him drinks frequently and he could use salt to help him retain liquids. If that doesn’t work they may give him sodium tablets or start him on the drug Florinef, which will help regular his blood pressure. I am just relieved they don’t think it is seizures.
Zack is going through a lot of clothes. He is a messy eater, has accidents and has learned how to open his G tube, which spills the liquids from his stomach. I can’t wait until it can be removed on Sept 2nd (six weeks after it was installed). At 5:30 Zack had his third attack and I was thankful that Blake (one of his friends from CAL) was here. I grabbed Zack from the front when he started to go down and Blake grabbed him from the rear as he was slipping through my arms. We sat him down and had him drink some cranberry juice. I don’t like this new aspect. It is scary to think that any time Zack stands up quickly he could pass out and someone might not be able to catch him. Now I am paranoid about always asking him if he needs something to drink. His dinner arrives and so do other visitors. I have to send everyone to the conference room while he eats which he does pretty quickly. Later Andrew was throwing the football with Zack and I asked him if he remembered who brought him the football. I showed him the picture of Dale and Addison giving him the football that the whole team had signed, asked him who Dale was and he replied “dufus” and laughed. Sorry Dale but he has not lost his sense of humor. Kaitlyn and her Mom bring Zack a Key Lime pie, his favorite, and he devours a big piece. He enjoys his friends as much as ever but especially on the weekend when he doesn’t have therapy. He gets bored now and I am sure that will intensify the depression. I am so grateful to all the people who visit, help us out at home and school and all those who are praying. I made a list the other day of the countries that were praying for Zack and was amazed; New Zealand, Ireland, Poland, Honduras, India and Cuba. And there are many churches across this country praying for us. I feel so fortunate being a member of a large church like Southeast Christian because I know many people there that don’t know us have been praying since the beginning. It reminds me of the song we sang today, “you set me inside your family and called me your own”. I truly feel like part of God’s family and I know he will take care of his children. Continue to pray for Zack’s complete recovery in Gods own time. Pray that depression will be fleeting and wisdom for the doctors as they manage his blood pressure. I have faith that when Zack recovers all will see how great is our God!

Saturday August 20, 2005

Saturday August 20, 2005 Zack was lying in bed zipped up when I arrived with the girls (Kyle 9 and Logan 6). I tried to unzip his “tent bed” but the zipper was stuck. I went to go get help after telling Kyle not to touch it. When I walked out of the room Kyle tried to open the zipper and Zack told her, “Don’t touch it”. At breakfast Zack got in a hurry and started picking his eggs up with his fingers. Kyle said, “don’t eat with your fingers”. Zack told her to shut up. Some things never change. He told me to put his socks in the cabinet (that’s where we keep them). He decided to take a walk and we ran into Holly (his nurse today) in the hall. She wanted to take Zack's blood pressure and he was very concerned with the numbers. We told him he got an A+ on his blood pressure and he said, “that’s what I was trying to get”. He is now taking all his medication by mouth, which is quite a lot. For those interested here’s his drug list: Amantadine for cognition, Bromocryptine for arousal, Baclofin for muscle tone inhibitor, Colace (stool softener), Previcid (stomach acid) Potassium (4 big pills and Diflucan (thrush). He was resting in bed and talking with Kyle. He kept telling her “I’m going to give you a message” and then he would talk gibberish. He watches the clock waiting top go to speech therapy. Logan messes with his bear and he tells her, “you can take my bear but go away. You all are annoying”. He decided it was time to leave and quickly got out of bed. He walked towards his wheelchair and as I was unlocking the brake he started to fall. Kyle started yelling. He went all the way to the floor but thankfully did not hit his head (he was wearing his helmet). We were both very scared and so were the girls. Zack started crying. I told Kyle to run for Holly. Both girls were crying. We had Zack lay on the floor for a while and asked him if anything hurt. He said he hurt his back. They had a resident I had never seen before there within minutes to check him out. His shoulder blade was a little red but he was moving everything fine and we decided an x-ray wasn’t necessary. Logan was still crying and I was shaky so I had to sit down to rest before taking him to speech therapy at 11:00 (the girls stayed in his room). Erin was our speech therapist today (Kathy is off today) and she asked Zack a lot of opposite questions that were too easy (up/down, yes/no…). She went to harder fill in the blank statements (she’s asleep on the ________, couch). He did excellent, was very cooperative, polite and calm. He is still showing some Aphasia (language comprehension/word mix up) when asked to identify some items. He separated a deck of cards into suites very quickly so she dismissed him 5 minutes early. When we get back to his room he gets upset before he ever gets out of his wheelchair. He asked me, “Why are we in this place”. I tell him we’re here so he can get better. He starts to cry and says, “I want to get better”. He gets up and looks out the window and says, “I’m feeling bad”. I think we are really starting to see signs of depression. He commented that there was nothing to do. He lies down in bed for a while and then gets very emotional. I ask him what is wrong and he shakes his head. I ask him if he’s hungry and he says, “I’m very hungry”. He gets up quickly and wants to go look for the food cart. He walks towards the door and gets right outside his door when he starts to get dizzy again and almost falls but I am there to hold him up. I yell for Holly and get him back in the room to his chair. I explain to Holly exactly what I saw and she thinks that he just needs to eat. He no longer gets insulin shots so his blood sugar could be low. We get his some chocolate pudding to tie him over until lunch arrives. He eats all his lunch and takes a nap. 2:00 In the gym for O.T. with Brook (Mary Beth off today). I tell Zack that I think she’s going to take it easy on him and he says, “I don’t think so”. She gives him a worksheet with a bunch of letters on it all scrambled up and wants him to find the “N” and circle it. It was very confusing and he couldn’t do it (I didn’t like it wither). He sits in his chair and shakes his leg, which makes me think he is nervous about the whole thing. She writes letters on another piece of paper and asks him to find the “Z”. He starts to cry and says, “what happened to the eyes?” Now I am starting to agree with Mary Beth that he is having trouble seeing at times. They will have a doctor check out his eyes once he is more consistent with commands. He successfully put together some pipes and removed caps off bottles. He keeps watching the clock. She decides to try him on the vision board, a large board with many tiny lights on it. When they turn it on a single light will turn on and he has to touch it to make it go off. He gets 27 with his left hand in 60 seconds but only 10 with his right. It is good exercise for his right arm and will also help determine vision problems. We get back to his room and some of his friends come to visit. He is enjoying their company when suddenly he decides to stand up again…too fast. He gets dizzy but fortunately Robbie and I are right there to hold him up. Trey runs to get Holly. She asked me when the last time he had something to drink and we noticed how hot it was in our room. He drinks a big glass of apple juice and we get the air conditioner in our room working again. He changes into shorts and a t-shirt with the sleeves cut off. He plays cards with his friends and soon it is time for them to leave. He walks them to the elevator but takes the long way. When they stop at the elevator he asks his friends, “are you getting in there” (pointing to the elevator)? When they said yes he said, “that sucks”. Back in his room Taylor and her Dad watch the golf game with him. He tells them his favorite golfer in Tiger Woods and comments on his bunker shot. He is so much more coherent and wants to communicate. I hope they start the Zolfo soon because I don’t want to see depression hamper his therapy. The only comfort is that depression is a sign that he is getting better so we are prepared for it. Scott and I decided to go out for dinner tonight with good friends (everybody keeps telling us it’s time). Scott’s Aunt Penny and Uncle Jay came to stay with Zack while his Mom went to our house with the other kids. Penny said that Zack was no problem. Two of his friends came by (girls of course) to visit and when they left he told them “see you around”. The aid came in to ask about his shower and he told them “my shower will be at 9:00”. Simple statements to try to bring control into his new chaotic world. Of course at the end of dinner Donna and I decided that we needed to see Zack (Scott had to relieve his mother). He was awake when we arrived although Penny and Jay had the lights out so he could sleep. Zack was very funny, asking us about our meal. I told him that tomorrow Grandma wouldn’t be coming before church but instead Daddy would. He seemed very pleased. He was in such a good mood and he pulled my arm so that before I knew it I was laying in bed with him. He joked around and said, “You know how easily it would be to break you?” We laughed, I kissed him and that was all the affection he could take from Mom. We are so very blessed. To think that God could have decided to take him home but instead chose him to be a witness to so many young people. It seems like we have been doing this forever and at the same time it feels like only yesterday we were discussing (O.K. arguing) about curfews. Please pray for all the teenagers that are our future, that we may have a future that includes Godly men and women. To fear God is the beginning of wisdom and I pray that many are seeking his guidance now that they have seen or heard first hand that one of their own has fallen because of one bad decision. Please pray for courage for Zack to see this through to the end and that his testimony will be to the glory of God!

Friday August 19, 2005

Friday August 19, 2005 Zack was lying in bed with the lights off in his room but he was
not asleep. Dr. Miller came in to examine him and told me they were discussing starting Zack on Zolof for depression next week. He is moving into a phase where depression is very common. Actually the more Zack progresses the more likely he will battle depression because he will be aware of what has happened to him, what he can no longer do and what he is missing out on. He is becoming aware of his appearance, checking himself out in the mirror. He has also taken off his helmet to examine his head and frowned while he was trying to fix his hair. He also has started to not want to get out of bed (but then again he is a teenager). The side effect to Zolof is increased appetite but it won’t hurt Zack to gain a few pounds right now (currently 126#). Dr. Miller also said that it would not be a permanent medication for him and he would also be on the smallest dose. Once Zack gets out of bed he is smiling. He is most talkative in the morning and can always find something to laugh about. When I ask him to repeat himself he talks slowly and louder. I asked him if he wanted to take a walk and he said, “Not right now, probably later. I have egg shells on me”. He had just finished breakfast, scrambled eggs, and he is a messy eater. His Dietician came by and said that Zack was scheduled for feeding group probably Monday. This will happen in the conference room with an occupational therapist and several other patients. They will work with Zack on using his right hand more, in a social setting and introduce new foods. The goal is to get him on a regular diet to include sandwiches. Speech at 9:00 in his room. Kathy gives him 20 yes/no questions (do fish swim) and he got 12 right. She said he has some signs of “aphasia”, which is using the wrong words. He told her he had bricks for breakfast. His brain searches for the right word but the wrong word comes out. Kathy explains it like this: all of us have filing cabinets in our head (animals in one, food in another, ect…). For Zack it is like someone dumped out all the files and now he has to find the file and store it in the correct cabinet. That is what she helps him with. In P.T./O.T. he rode the exercise bike for 7 minutes and then they wanted to try golf. Great idea! He kicked the first ball in. He took a couple of shots with a very accurate grip (even with his right hand). On the 3rd try he got a hole in one from 10’ and was very proud of himself. Back in his room Zack took a nap for almost an hour before lunch. He ate everything but dessert and then got up. I knew he was going to head back to his bed so I asked him to sit with me while I ate. He answered, “I’ll sit here as long as I don’t have to take another bite”. Back in speech at 1:30 he did not appear to recognize the words to match up with pictures. He followed instructions well and knew the names of his siblings, his birthday and even kissed Kathy on the cheek. The afternoon session in the gym was less physical. Mary Beth would write a number and he would copy it. He got up to 6 before he was bored and wanted to do something else. They gave him a piece of paper with lots of black dots. He had to circle each dot with a red marker. Very tedious but he completed the task without getting upset. He really did great today in therapy and was a lot less frustrated. He came back to the room and took another nap before eating all his dinner (including dessert this time). Lauren and Trey (good friends from school) came by after dinner. They were listening to music and Zack was boppin’ his head and moving his finger. Before long he was up dancing. His friends are truly the best therapy. Mike Smith from Southeast Christian Church (and one of Zack’s baseball coaches) came by with his wife for a visit. He prayed with us and Zack closed his eyes and listened. We had other visitors from school and then my Mom and sister Colleen came by. Zack was throwing the baseball with Mom and even though he was quiet and not really talking he seemed to really enjoy himself. I went up to the nurses station to ask about our missing camera and met some of the mothers of new patients. One mother invited us in to meet her son John who is paralyzed from the waste down. He is a big 14-year-old football player so I went to get Zack to introduce them. At first Zack didn’t want to leave his chair but after I told him about the other boy his age he got up and walked with me to his room. He walked up to his bed and shook his hand. He had carried his soft baseball with him and threw it to John. He didn’t say anything but he was friendly. I am starting to talk to the newer mothers here and telling them Zack’s story. They are scared and appreciate hearing how successful the therapy here can be. One told me I gave her hope and I told them I had plenty of hope to spare. They are both here from out of state and I will look forward to encouraging them and finding opportunities to share Gods promise. Tonight I will pass on Joshua 1:9 “…be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” I can claim that promise and many more. Pray that Zack’s progress will be a testimony to Gods love and power for the other hurting families here. Please pray for Zack that depression will not overwhelm him. Pray for his friends who are leaving for college that they will feel God’s presence there and not be tempted to lose faith. Pray without ceasing.

Thursday August 18, 2005

Thursday August 18, 2005 Before I got to Zack’s room this morning I ran into Dr. Miller in the hall. He told me that Zack was talking to him a lot more. He said that Zack was calmer this morning because yesterday he had to chase him around the room to evaluate him. Dr. Miller was rounding at a pediatric office and met Liz Curtis Higgs son who asked him if he knew Zack. It seems like everyone knows about him now. When I walk into his room he is lying in bed but he is dressed. He likes chilling out in his bed. He is laughing at what his nurse Dana is talking about. He sees me and when I reach down to hug him he says, “ I’ve been waiting to hug you sweetie”. He eats all his lunch. I brought pictures of Dylan, Kyle and Logan in and showed them to Zack to see if he knew who they were. He knew Dylan and Kyle but said Logan was his Mom. I told him to stop teasing me because he knew Logan wasn’t his Mom and he said, “I wouldn’t be tease you if we weren’t sitting here”. He said he thinks all these questions are silly. Dr. Mook came in and told us our Family Meeting is set up for next Wednesday at 1:00 P.M. This is a required meeting for all who will care for Zack and his team of doctors. They will discuss what we can expect over the next month and their plans for Zack. He said something about Nicole (one of the girls in the accident) and said he wanted to see her. 9:00 speech in the room with Kathy and he is so talkative. He said “good morning” and when asked the name of this place he answered, “one ugly bed”. He sure spends a lot of time in it to think it was ugly. He kept looking at the clock and wanting to know when he would leave for P.T./O.T. They played hide and seek with the pictures of Kyle and Logan. They waited a long time and he remembered where they hid them. Kathy is very excited. Zack smiled and told her he had a dream last night (he couldn’t tell us what it was about). Then she asked him to count and he counted in Spanish!!!! He said “WoW. She said my name is Kathy in Spanish and he answered in Spanish. How cool is that! He said the months very clearly and knew the year was 2005. When it was time to leave he hugged Kathy and said thank you and goodbye. He lay down and said, “That was fun”. He is a total delight this morning. 10:00 P.T./O.T. they give him tiny pegs and he has to put them in tiny holes. He did not want to use his right hand and was very unhappy about it. He acknowledged that his eyes were blurry. Mary Beth (O.T.) thinks he may be having some vision problems. He passed a ball between his legs but when they tried to get him to pass it behind his back he just turned in a circle. They decided to work on his right arm mobility on the mat. They were stretching his shoulder, ribs and back. It hurt and he cried. They had him do 10 knee pushups. They started using weighted balls and had him hold them out in from of him for 15 seconds. They did various extensions of that to strengthen the supporting muscles around the arms, rib cage and spine. They put him a weight lifting bar together and had him lift his arms over his head. He cried out loudly but was determined to do it 10 times. It was very hard but he did it. Then he wanted to know how much weight he was lifting (7 lbs.). It was a good morning in the gym and he was proud of himself. Back in his room he couldn’t wait to get his shoes off and lay dawn. Lunch arrives and it is time for him to get up. He did much better but didn’t finish everything. He got up and said he was full and didn’t want any more. He got back in bed to relax some more and when it was time to go to speech he didn’t want to get up. We had to call Dana to help us because he really didn’t want to go. I think he would just lie in bed all day if we let him (sound familiar to all those parents of teenagers). In speech Kathy had him playing UNO the card game. He correctly played the first card. They played several hands before Zack got tired of it. Then Kathy got out some money. He correctly identified the dime and knew it was worth 10 and a nickel was 5. Might have to bring poker chips in for him to mess with. P.T./O.T. in the gym with Kathy and Mary Beth. They had him put supplies in a file cabinet and stack boxes on shelves. He shots some baskets and did a puzzle forcing him to use his right hand. He did the entire puzzle with that hand. Back to the room and back to bed. He took a good nap and finally got up when dinner came. He finished everything so now I am going to pay more attention on what meals he struggles with finishing. Dana (day nurse) said that he does not have to eat 100% of each meal (they give him more than I could eat). Visitors started to arrive and we decide to go for a ride in his chair. Walking through Jewish Hospital we run into Nicole and her Dad and then Averi and her Mom. After our walk we go back up to the room and Zack gets back in bed. He seems tired and plus he really likes his bed. He is working his way through several stages and some of then have specific challenges. Right now Zack seems to want to pull his pants down. We have to be careful and watch him now around visitors until we get to the next hurdle. He goes back and forth to the bed all evening. I finally request his shower thinking that night relax him enough to stay. After he gets settled in bed I ask him if we can pray. He closes his eyes and I say the 23 Psalm, When I am finish I ask him to say it with me. He remembers and recites every other sentence (I say one, he says the one that follows). I tell him he will dwell in the house of the Lord forever. He starts to cry and asks “what if Jesus leaves me:” I explain that Jesus will never leave him and not to be afraid. That seems to calm him down. He always closes his eyes when he prays and is quiet. He is now sleeping peacefully I can’t help wondering what he dreamed about. I hope it is of green pastures and quiet waters. Please pray that Zack will feel the loving arms of Jesus around him tonight and will not be afraid. Take time to pray for your own teenagers, friends and family members that God will gently discipline them in their disobedience. Pray for his continued recovery.

Wednesday August 17, 2005

Wednesday August 17, 2005 Zack was eating breakfast early when I arrived this morning. I sat down with him and he was glad to see me. After a while he stood up and I asked him to sit back down. He said, “I want to shut the door”. I said I would and he said, “Should I?” Sensible conversation. Dr. Mook (physiatrist) said that Zack was a strong 4 and moving into a Rancho Level 5, which means we will start seeing new behavior. He said we should limit visitors to 2 or 3 at a time (hey kids we need to talk about putting together some kind of visiting schedule so everyone doesn’t come at once and have to wait) and no visitors during mealtime. Meals have become harder as he gets frustrated with utensils, which now results in aggression. Dr. Mook explained that his emotions are “labile”, which means he will easily anger, easily frustrate, easily happy, everything exaggerated. 8:30 we have ADL (assisted daily living) in his room with Mary Beth (O.T.). We discuss what happened the night before at dinner when he got upset with me. She told me not to get into battles with him over eating but instead use diversion. Tell him he’s 15 and shouldn’t eat with his fingers. He has to dress himself, which he does with no trouble until it comes to tying his right shoe. He keeps trying it over and over again and can’t get it right so he gets very frustrated. Mary Beth explains that when he gets so frustrated that he can’t function that we should tell him to ask for our help. She tells him and he says, “Please help me”. 9:00 speech in room with Kathy. Counted to 10 and did opposites (she said up, he said down, girl/guy, night/day) very easily. When she had him identify things in his room and asked about the CD player he turned on the song that Taylor Barton wrote for him and listened to it with Kathy. 10:00 P.T./O.T. in the gym and he played Tic Tac Toe with Amy (P.T.). He blocked her several times. They made him use his right hand and he was not happy. He understood the game and did not like losing. He was asked to throw a heavy ball and he had to squat to throw it. Then Mary Beth (O.T.) got out the fencing swords. He did not like that at all, too aggressive. He acted like he didn’t want to hurt her. They had him walk a balance beam (set on the floor) and he did it twice. He also walked on it sideways with help and then he attempted it on his own, he pushed Amy away and didn’t want her to help him. 12:00 back in his room and I arrive for lunch. He said to me, “Where have you been”. I answered and he asked, “What took so long”. He got frustrated eating again because I wouldn’t let him use his fingers. He cried but finally we got through it. When he stood up he told me, “thank you for making me eat” and hugged me. Soon it was time to go back to speech therapy. He did several more opposites and then she asked him to count to 10 loud. He did and then to 20 loudly. Whenever she asked him a question his response was much louder and audible. In the gym for his afternoon session of P.T./O.T. They gave him several size bottles and asked him to take the tops off. He did. They asked him to put them back on and he did. He opened several containers. His fine motor skills are excellent at this point…at least with the left hand. Mary Beth showed him the days of the week printed and asked him what it said. He got very upset when he didn’t know and slammed his fist on the table. They decided that maybe he would do better with a walk and had him walk up and down 5 flights of stairs. His physical abilities are amazing. Mary Beth asked him if he had walked today? “Yes”. Where did you go? He said, “I don’t know, you will have to ask somebody”. He had a very good day in the gym and was tired when he got back in his room. I thought that visits from the kids might slow down when school started but we still had several visitors before dinner. I started a visitors sign up sheet for his friends since we have to limit the people in his room to 3 at a time. I don’t want everyone coming at once and having to wait so I thought it would be best if we set up some kind of schedule. Many of his friends come everyday or at least several times a week and I want all of them to get to spend time with Zack. He likes to have them here and it is good therapy. Dinner arrives about the same time as Scott with our kids (Dylan, Kyle and Logan). Today we decided that Scott would stay with Zack on Wednesday evenings so that I could be home with the kids. It is going to be very hard to leave Zack but Scott needs time at night with him and my other kids need time with me. Zack told Scott, “I love you because of your personal quest”. We don’t know where that came from but Scott really liked it. Scott had his friend Buddy and his brother Tony come up and watch the game with them. Zack way lying in bed quietly until Scott had to leave the room. As soon as Scott left Zack was up walking around, trying to get into stuff, working Buddy and Tony to death. They were grateful when Scott returned and Zack got back in bed. He really moves around a lot and is interested in all the stuff in his room. What a blessing it is to see him up and about when a week ago he was bound to his wheel chair and couldn’t hold his head up. Our awesome God! My ride home with the kids seemed very noisy after my weeks with Zack. We stop at Walgreen’s to pick up a prescription and I run into my neighbor Chuck. He tells me that he has seen kids coming by our house with their cars decorated. He has seen others praying outside Zack’s window. I think it is inevitable that many teenagers will be impacted by what has happened to Zack. I pray that they will realize the importance of the decisions they make today and how those decisions can impact them for the rest of their lives. They have their friend as living proof. I am not sure of Gods reason for choosing Zack to teach these valuable lessons but we are honored all the same. To spare his life and use his recovery in such a powerful way is humbling. Pray tonight that I can relax with my other kids when I have the opportunity (it’s hard because they seem so noisy after quiet nights with Zack). Pray that when Zack is better we can adjust again to a normal life and still feel the presence of God. Pray for Zack’s complete recovery to glorify God.

Tuesday August 16, 2005

Tuesday August 16, 2005 Zack was asleep when I arrived because he had gotten up early, cruised the halls and was talking to everyone (low, muffled whispers). At 9:00 he had speech therapy in his room. Kathy asked him if he knew his name. He knew his first, middle and last name. She asked him how old he was and he said 16. She explained he wasn’t 16 yet but he would be on his birthday. He got very upset when he didn’t know his birthday. She told him that this was August and asked what month came after August. He told her September. Zack said of Kathy “she help me talk” but broke our hearts later when he said, “Where is Zack”? He decided to take Kathy for a walk and ran into Amy (P.T.) in the hall and hugged her. 10:00 P.T./O.T. down in the gym and they worked with him on the alphabet. They used big blocks and he said the alphabet but had trouble selecting the right letters. Could say the whole alphabet but got very upset when he couldn’t choose the right letters and tried to push Amy away. He played baseball and caught very well and was throwing much better with his right hand (it is still very hard for him to use it). While they were waiting he said, “My Dad is not picking me up”. He is really talking a lot more but we just wish we could understand him better. Amy had him kick a ball for a while and also walk several flights of stairs. When he returns to his room he is wore out and lays down to take a nap at 11:30. I had to drag him out of bed to eat lunch. Dana (day nurse) came and told us that Zack had graduated from tube feeding since he was eating so well. They cannot remove the tube from his stomach until 6 weeks after it was installed (July 22nd) but at least he won’t have to deal with that at night when he goes to bed. I had to help Zack eat lunch because he kept trying to get up and go back to bed. Finally he was finished and wanted to go to the bathroom. He looked at himself in the mirror and wanted to take his helmet off. He rubbed his hands through his hair like he was trying to fix it and got upset when he saw his laceration. I explained that he was getting better and we would just keep his helmet on so he didn’t see it. He is starting to be interested in his appearance again. Checking out his teeth in the mirror and pulling his pants down below his waist. Back in speech with Kathy at 1:30 he matches up basic shapes like a square, heart and circle. He had problems with the more difficult ones (he got 5 out of 12). 2:30 he is back in the gym with Amy (P.T.) and Mary Beth (O.T.) they have him put together metal pipes. They would show him a picture and he had to duplicate the design. He did very well copying several pictures, smiled a lot and was proud of himself. Then they had him sit on the floor to see if he could get up to a standing position. They were proud of him because he did it and they didn’t have to show him how. It is amazing how much we take for granted. How intricately God has woven our bodies together. How complicated the brain and body working together. Spend one day watching these therapist and tell me that we are a product of random selection or chance. Back in our room Rita was telling Zack jokes. When she said knock, knock he answered, whose there. Scott arrived with Chris (he has worked for Scott since Zack was a toddler). Scott was overwhelmed at how clear minded Zack seemed. He asked him if he knew what a “Wet Willy” was and he licked his finger. Zack laughed and covered his ear. Scott explained to Zack that Chris had been worried about him since he saw him in ICU and he reached out and shook Chris’s hand, as if to say I’m O.K. now. He was talking a lot to them. When it was time for Scott to pick up Dylan and the girls he took me out in the hallway and was overcome with emotion at how well Zack was doing. He came back into the room to say goodbye and Zack said, “See ya brother”. We truly feel blessed each day when Zack progresses to the next stage. We hardly know what to pray for and God answers it before we ask. He knows the desires of our heart. Zack had several visitors from school telling him how much they missed him on their first day back. He smiled for a picture with them and then cried when they left. When dinner arrived Zack did not want to get out of bed to eat. When he was hungry and we moved to the table he decided it was faster to eat with his fingers. I had to keep stopping him and putting a fork in his hand. He couldn’t get that right hand working fast enough so I would put the fork in his left hand but he would transfer it to the right. He got very frustrated and tried to get up several times to go back to bed but I would redirect him back to the table and tell him he couldn’t use his fingers. Then he got mad, got up from the table aggressively with his chest puffed out. When I told him to sit back down and eat without using his fingers he got very mad and pushed me and said loudly, “I don’t want anything”. Fortunately Holly (day nurse) had come to the room and she stepped in to settle him down. He went back to his bed to lay down and she explained that this aggressive stage could get a lot worse. Frequently the therapist are sent to the emergency room after a patient has been aggressive. We hope this is short lived in Zack (I think it will be better when he can communicate) but it is an indication of progress. Remember, as his brain rediscovers his emotions, everything is exaggerated, including anger. If the phases seem worse and worse we have to remember that actually they are a sign that Zack is getting better and better. The aggressive phase typically last through Rancho Level 6 and then a light bulb will just go off inside and he will be the one asking us questions. When the last of his friends are leaving he gets emotional and walks up to me and says, Don’t leave me. Hold my hand”. It was heartbreaking to see him so afraid to be alone. Donna and I discussed that part of his frustration could be from the fear of what is happening to him. After his friends left we went for a walk to the nurses station and he was telling them that Carolyn and Kristen were there. He got very frustrated when I told him it was Avery and Taylor. I guess now I am the bad guy making him cry. We went back to his room to watch T.V. and I asked the nurse to go ahead with the Trazadone at 10:00 so that maybe tonight I can leave by 11:00 P.M. I am getting very tired and looking forward to a vacation some day. Again I ask for prayers that Zack will get his voice out so we can understand him and hopefully end some of this frustration. Pray also that he can start sleeping better and that too will help with frustration if he is not so tired. Scott would like to ask that you also say a prayer for Chris Hatler, his dear friend and man of honor, who is also dealing with serious medical issues of his own. We are well aware of the power of prayer and know that our Heavenly Father hears us. Sorry, time to go I’m falling asleep.